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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not enjoy taking DS to the park?

75 replies

DorisShutt · 28/09/2013 09:06

DH thinks I am.

DS is almost 3. We have a nice park about 20 minutes away in the car (relevant) with a great outdoor play bit which DS loves. He's at the age where he doesn't want anyone to go round with him, but is still too young to be left on his own to go round. Therefore trips to the park involve standing around bored as DS pops in and out yelling hello. I hate this. I get cold and bored. DH, on the other hand, loves it.

DH seems to have taken my "I don't enjoy the park" to mean that I don't enjoy spending time with DS. I think it's, "I don't like the park". Baking, drawing, playing with trains - all fine. Parks... not so much.

AIBU?

OP posts:

BackforGood · 29/09/2013 00:34

YANBU to not enjoy it, but you would BU to not take him.
However, I would certainly be encouraging your dh to take him at the weekends while you have a couple of hours to soak in the bath / MN / read a book / have a coffee with a friend get on with something constructive.

I doubt any of us have enjoyed every moment of every thing we've taken our dc to - you just weigh up what benefit they get from it against how much you really hate it, and make the decisions.

stopgap · 29/09/2013 02:11

I am the complete opposite. I love taking my two-year-old DS to the park, and love to run around with him or shoot basketball hoops and play football. My issue is the at-home stuffcrafts, cooking etcwhich I find completely boring.

BrianTheMole · 29/09/2013 02:40

Its great to hear that loads of people hate the park too. It makes me feel less of a failure as a parent

LimitedEditionLady · 29/09/2013 07:29

I agree with the point made that youre BU if you dont take them.I make sure we spend sunny days knackering him out at the park for an hour or so,its true that we arent going to like everything but then again my ds makes it very clear he doesnt like clothes shopping for me either....

neepsandtatties · 29/09/2013 07:47

Hate the park. Always did. So boring. Love every other activity with DC but not the park. Glad to hear there are lots of us the same!

youretoastmildred · 29/09/2013 07:47

Sympathy. You need many more clothes than you think and gloves especially. YY to the flask. It is tedious but will become less so. FWIW I don't think there is anything wrong with parenting in shifts sometimes do both adults get a break. If I have the presence of mind I often pack dp off to do his own thing for a while, knowing I'm banking time off for me later. If your dh thinks you should be trudging around as an exhausted unit all weekend or you don't love each other he is a big baby and you need to have a word.

pianodoodle · 29/09/2013 08:00

I make exceptions if the park has a zip wire as I can put DD on my knee and have a go myself then :)

Original poster

DorisShutt · 29/09/2013 08:20

The trouble is, for me, that DS is too big for the little park with safer play stuff, slides, little see-saws - and wants to go on big things, which he definitely needs help with; think zip lines, 8 foot high climbing frames and steel tightropes.

DS is adamant with me that he doesn't want me on with him to help as he's a "big boy" (but equally I can't leave him due to the danger), whereas with DH, he is desperate for him to come on the equipment as it's only really at the weekend when he gets to play with him.

Football, woodland walks are not a problem (although I need new walking shoes), but standing under an 8ft climbing frame in case a 3 year old toddler decides to emulate Superman... not so much!

OP posts:

Ghostsgowoooh · 29/09/2013 08:22

The park is bearable providing there is no other kid in it bar my own then I can go on on the swings whilst the dd's go on the equipment themselves.

Our local parks are full of teenagers at the weekends swearing and spitting so avoid them mostly

Antidote · 29/09/2013 08:37

I don't mind the park unless ds is having a feeble, 'mummy help me'kind of day in which case I tend to keep trips brief.

I cannot be doing with crafty bollocks though. Glue, glitter, scissors that don't cut, sticky things, play do, drives me bonkers. And the very notion of letting a nearly 3 years old cook makes me feel rather anxious. What the hell would we make that wouldn't end up with food poisoning, a burns unit or a new video cooker?

Retroformica · 29/09/2013 08:52

Autumn walks soon. Much nicer.

Agree with taking a friend to chat to or download an audio story to listen to.

GingerPCatt · 29/09/2013 09:08

My nearest park sucks. DS is 2.4 and both slides have climbing holds leading up to them instead of steps so DS can't do it with out help. There's a park further away that I love since DS can climb up the slides and doesn't need help doing things so I can sit with a cuppa. I wish park designers would take these things into consideration.

LimitedEditionLady · 29/09/2013 09:34

Antidote,what kind of things do you and your child like doing then?i only ask as we always do that stuff but it gets a bit boring so wondered what others do.

BadSeedsAddict · 29/09/2013 09:38

Mimsyborogoves, I love your comment! It sounds like all the people who hate the park, still go to the park? So nobody is BU? I forgot to mention how adept children seem to be at finding novel ways to injure themselves or scare the crap out of me. Let's all randomly run behind moving swings/onto the fast-moving roundabout, or decide to have two other children on our knee at the top of the very high slide/stop the roundabout using our bum/swing on the very heavy, finger-trapping gate to the playground!! Yay for us!!

Antidote · 29/09/2013 09:43

We read, play hide and seek, do 'tennis'with a very soft ball, play football, ride the scooter and bike, watch a bit of TV, pretend to be fireman Sam, go swimming, go to soft play, go to the park.

Antidote · 29/09/2013 09:45

Also do Lego, building blocks and complicated games involving lots of small toy cars.

stubbornstains · 29/09/2013 09:48

Walks in the woods are much, much better for all concerned. Children get to use their imagination far more finding 300 things to do with a stick, rather than using playground equipment which has been designed to be played with in a limited number of ways.

We would never go to a park, if it wasn't for the fact that there is one right next to LIDL, which means that we go there once a week as a reward for good behaviour in the supermarket (I inwardly cheer when DS is naughty in the supermarket, as this means we don't go to the park!).

It does get better as they get old enough to go round by themselves though. Taking an 18 months- 2 year old is a particular kind of purgatory.

DameDeepRedBetty · 29/09/2013 09:56

A few years ahead of you OP is the day they go to the park ALL BY THEMSELVES! Ok, maybe not this particular one as apparently you've got to drive.

When dtds asked, beautifully, if they could walk to the playground/park, all of two minutes traffic free walk away, I ended up shadowing them down, and got someone else's mum to go and check on them for me while I hid behind bushes

Ragwort · 29/09/2013 10:05

If your DH is happy to go with your DS to the park and help him on the equipment, but you all agree you want 'family time' - why don't you go with them but take a book/newspaper/crossword/ipad - whatever you like to do - even better if there is a cafe in the park - surely everyone is happy then - or you could even jog round the park if you want to do some exercise for yourself. .

As soon as your DS is old enough to play on his own surely you will be delighted? I used to take my DS to the park every day for years to give me some peace.

YouHaveAGoodPoint · 29/09/2013 10:15

We lived overseas when my kids were little, I bloomin' loved UK parks and used to dream about them. Whenever we came to the UK they would be our first port of call.

The best thing is that they have a proper solid ground and not SAND. I hate sand, it gets everywhere and I mean everywhere and its dirty and gets thrown about. The kids often would need a bath afterwards.

Also, the obsession with having playgrounds that are actually safe is not a bad one. I know the 'when we were young' brigade which includes me were happily climbing Everest and fighting bears as preschoolers but a bit of health 'n safety isn't a bad thing. My DS has a 10 inch scar (40 stitches) from a protruding nail that was in a climbing frame in an non UK park

Saying all that, I agree that visiting the park with little kids is very dull indeed.

LimitedEditionLady · 29/09/2013 10:58

Oh same as us!

Antidote · 29/09/2013 11:04

On balance I'm going to have to come off the fence and admit to liking the park. I like the walk to get there, I like having to get our of the house, I sometimes even get to meet other adults! Ds it's at a stage where I get some time sitting on my bum and some time running around with him (although monkey bars 4 weeks post c section probably isn't that sensible in terms of an exercise regimen, I do find the trampoline very motivating for the old pelvic floor exercises).

The local skateboard park is a more daunting prospect but luckily he is still mostly happy to watch other kids trying to kill themselves, or he tries to join in on foot. It gives me the fear in case I have to use my rather rusty first aid skills.

elQuintoConyo · 29/09/2013 13:59

Well... I like the park

Ours is a 2-minute walk, not next to any big roads, not too scary for smallies except the slide and DS (22mo) doesn't go on it much, only if other kids rte about and he chases them up it!

We have got a naby swing with an adult big kid swing next to it so we swing together and I sing , two differet see-saws and a couple of those animals on a spring things, or 'boing!' as DS calls them.

I like being outside in the fresh air and can read a bit, think, breathe fresh air.

Boo sucks to everyone else

elQuintoConyo · 29/09/2013 14:01

naby = baby!

forehead · 29/09/2013 14:06

I am glad that i am not the only one. I have always hated parks, even as a child. They bore the hell out of me. However, i have found a park which has a Costa shop nearby, so i can just about tolerate the park

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