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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Brides doing bridesmaid's hair?

39 replies

ameliasmama89 · 27/09/2013 23:49

What are your thoughts on Brides doing the bridesmaid's hair? There are three adult bridesmaid's plus 5 little ones (ages from just a year old till 8).

My view is: The bride should not be worried about getting other people ready. Bridesmaids are there to help the Bride get ready.. She will not have time on her own wedding day to get all 8 bridesmaids hair do's done, plus get herself ready.
It's not every day we get to dress up all fancy and have hair done fancy.

My solution: Get a professional to do the three adults hair. Very simple hairdo's for little ones. clips/hair clips that match the theme.

Adult 2: Deadset on the BRIDE doing all 8! Wont budge.

OP posts:
petswinprizes · 27/09/2013 23:51

Are you the bride? If so do whatever you like. If not, let the bride do whatever she likes. And who is adult 2??

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/09/2013 23:52

Adult 2's preferences (and yours) are irrelevant. What does the bride want to do? And what is Adult 2's reason for the bride doing this (because I seriously can't think of one).

CocacolaMum · 27/09/2013 23:52

its a stupid idea unless you REALLY cannot afford to get someone in and the bridesmaids are hopeless with hair.

IAmNotAMindReader · 27/09/2013 23:53

Adult 2 is just not on. What does the bride have to say about all this? Does she even know she's being expected to do this?
No way in hell will she be able to do that she'll only be able to get herself ready.
Make the situation known to others in the wedding party who will be around on the day and just get on and do it. If adult 2 is there as well have someone designated to distract them and steer them away from the bride whilst preparations are under way.

YADNBU!!

BasilBabyEater · 27/09/2013 23:54

Adult 2 is berserk.

It will cause everyone, particularly the bride, untold stress if she goes in for this.

If you are the bride Ameliasmama, just drop heavy hints about how it's a great idea for the bride to be in charge of everyone else's hair because she can make sure they all look awful so she looks even better. Then suggest she does everyone's make up too.

Adult 2 will change her mind then.

If you are Adult 2, you are mad.

Grin
IAmNotAMindReader · 27/09/2013 23:55

Sorry not making myself clear. Hairdresser will be expensive so can't those close help by doing the smaller childrens hair.

Original poster
ameliasmama89 · 27/09/2013 23:57

I am one of the adult bridesmaids. Adult 2 is the soon to be sister in law. Awkward kind-of-have to have her situation. You're right though the bride needs to decide on what she wants, not what she is told she is doing.

OP posts:
quoteunquote · 27/09/2013 23:59

Get the five little ones and one of the adult ones to get ready somewhere else, and meet up just before, having to leave.

and have a lovely relaxing time beforehand, it will be a much more enjoyable start to the day,

and get a hairdresser, keep the styles simple.

the bride needs to be only thinking about herself, and relaxing.

NatashaBee · 27/09/2013 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WandaDoff · 27/09/2013 23:59

Is Adult 2 the bride?

If not, book someone to come out & do the hair, far too much for a bride to be coping with on her wedding day.

FetchezLaVache · 28/09/2013 00:00

Encourage the bride to tell Adult 2 to get fucked. It's not her day, it's not her place to decline to budge on any aspect thereof. The bride will, we presume, wish to enjoy the morning of her wedding day rather than be completely frazzled running around doing EIGHT FUCKING PEOPLE'S hair.

My cousin is a hairdresser and absolutely brilliant at putting hair up- she did mine on my wedding day and it looked fab. On her own wedding day, however, she decided to do her three bridesmaids' hair to keep costs down, but she was so nervous she didn't do a particularly good job, tbh. I think any extra pressure on the bride is just uncalled for, really.

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/09/2013 00:02

But what reason does soon-to-be-SIL give for being deadset on bride doing this?

Famzilla · 28/09/2013 00:04

Totally up to the bride.

I'm getting married in 3 weeks and am doing mine & the bridesmaids make up. My bridesmaid is doing our hair.

Some people seem to feel sorry for me that I'm not getting 'professionals' in to do it, when I actually chose for it to be this way. Plus it was a great excuse to fill my make up bag with MAC & Bobbi Brown!

Donkeyok · 28/09/2013 00:08

My memory is that the bride (me) kind of got nervous drunk and would have been incapable. Strongly suggest the bridesmaids have alternative back up plan. Leave poor bride to chill before the big moment.

Original poster
ameliasmama89 · 28/09/2013 00:13

The Bride hasn't really said much, she isn't against having a professional to do adult's hair. Adult 2 said she doesn't want anyone doing her hair apart from the bride 'cause she gets grumpy when her hair is pulled'.

I have suggested that that all bridesmaids getting ready at mine but transporting us all over to where the bride will be is difficult.. as carseats needed for all the children (taxi service doesn't provide) . I have also suggested that i would pay for my hair to be done (and so has the other adult bridesmaid). Adult 2 then said she would be left out with different hair style.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 28/09/2013 00:20

Adult 2 is a PITA and I would be thinking very carefully if I were the bride about what reaction would mean that the rest of my life wasn't a shit storm. I think talking to the groom and asking her if it is OK to tell her to fuck off, would be my first move.

NoComet · 28/09/2013 00:21

I'm all for cheap DIY weddings, a lot of mine was, but no way will the bride have time to do that many peoples hair and do/have done her own make up.

Original poster
ameliasmama89 · 28/09/2013 00:30

I agree, adult 2 is PITA. I'm simply putting up with her for the sake of the bride to be. She lives 50 plus miles away so only have to deal with her for these wedding plans. She always finds a way to kick up a fuss.

OP posts:
MrsMook · 28/09/2013 00:40

We did DIY hair at a wedding last year. 2 adult updos, the bride and 2 simple dos for the children. It was fine- we'd had lots of practice sessions and knew what we were all doing to eachother.

The hairdressers local to the venue were extortionate- something like 3x what I'd paid for mine a couple of years earlier and totally beyond budget.

Lots of compliments about the hair.

Original poster
ameliasmama89 · 28/09/2013 00:53

Thanks for all replies. Going to suggest we have few practice nights of hair and makeup. Adult 2 will have to get over it, the hair duties will have to be shared out somehow whether it be professional or between ourselves. I've been looking at prices, starting from £40 per adult Shock

OP posts:
Szeli · 28/09/2013 10:45

Where are you based? There may well be some cheaper; and if you're in the North West I certainly am ;)

If the brides a hairdresser tho, perhaps she'd be happy teaching you all a style before the day for your practise sessions? Or YouTube is amazing for tutorials!

whois · 28/09/2013 11:37

Oh god adult 2 sounds like a fucking idiot. How about a quick phone call "getting a professional, appreciate this isn't what you want. However I'm sure you'll appreciate this is the brides day and we are there to support her."

specialsubject · 28/09/2013 12:00

or make less fuss, given no-one will actually notice hairstyles as long as they are clean and vaguely flattering?

if you have child bridesmaids, you only need a brush and perhaps a few hair bobbles. Five mins each.

Inertia · 28/09/2013 12:05

Adult 2 is a childish PITA who probably wants to try to outshine the bride on her wedding day. She's trying to sabotage the bride's preparations.

The bride needs to put her foot down- or could you and the other sane adult BM offer to take over arrangements for a professional hairdresser?

Adult (ha!) 2 is being ridiculous- does the bride have to goo round to her house every day to brush her hair for her before she can go to work, FFS ?

Pigsmummy · 28/09/2013 12:15

Let the bride make the call? Back her up if needs you to be firm for her? Adult 2 could do with explaining her idea tbh.

I did five bridesmaids hair on my wedding day, I didn't mean to but my sister stood by declaring how rubbish she was with hair! Mine was done first thing in the hair dressers and actually I found it quite calming doing their hair. My make up was done in 15 minutes, I put the dress on last minute as needed to wee just before leaving so I had not had the hair to do would have been probably fussing and worrying.