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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have yelled "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

30 replies

Bogeyface · 27/09/2013 20:01

at everyone in the house just now? :(

I am at the end of a very very long couple of days and I am brainfucked. I have been "Muuuuum!"'d all day every day by someone, or been nagged phoned by various people, asked for favours, cooked, cleaned, changed nappies, been shouted at, argued with and tantrummed at.

I have had enough. I need silence, just for a few minutes. I just need to be left alone for a little while to get my head on straight but whenever I say this within 30 seconds its "Muuuum!" again. I will listen to them reading, look at their homework, laugh at the joke, watch the TV programme, but not right now.

Now they are sitting looking slightly scared, as I am not normally a shouter and I feel guilty :(

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 27/09/2013 20:04

Seems quite reasonable to me, in the circumstances! Have some Wine.

YouTheCat · 27/09/2013 20:05

Don't feel guilty.

Just countdown to bedtime. Hopefully they'll go up without a fuss after your, understandable, outburst.

Have a Brew

PollyPlummer · 27/09/2013 20:06

Don't feel guilty, tell them to run you a bath and pour you wine.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 27/09/2013 20:06

YANBU

They need to learn that you mean what you say - you said it nicely enough times!

They also need to learn that you are a person in your own right and not 'just Mum' at their beck & call.

Send them all to bed & have a Wine or a Brew

Lweji · 27/09/2013 20:10

The rare well applied rant works wonders. :)

Although you'd better start saying no more often, probably.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/09/2013 20:11

Thanks. I wasnt sure if I would get roasted tbh Confused

I rarely shout unless there is something going on where someone could get hurt, so I think they were genuinely shocked. Wine and bath and Wine and ermm.... Wine I think it is!

OP posts:
ClaraOswald · 27/09/2013 20:11

Now they know you are human and have limits.

Calloh · 27/09/2013 20:12

Nope. YADNBU. Think of it as life practice for them. If they talked to anyone else like that there would be restraining orders slapped all over the place.

Have some wine.

I showed my children that Family Guy thing;

They thought it was funny, which made me briefly paranoid that the slow destruction of my soul on some days, was intentional.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 27/09/2013 20:15

Yanbu.

Although I remember doing this once, then trying to shut myself in the kitchen. Except the kitchen window opens onto the conservatory so DD immediately started trying to climb in!

For both of our sakes I disappeared upstairs for 10 minutes to calm the fuck down.

Weasleyismyking · 27/09/2013 20:17

Are you me? Did I just write that?
I can just picture their faces (as I saw it on my DS earlier).

YANBU. Wine

Scrounger · 27/09/2013 20:18

I've been there, will be there again. I'm on the wine too.

YoniBottsBumgina · 27/09/2013 20:27

This is only the first time you've said it? Dear god woman, you deserve a medal. I've probably said it once a day for about the past year. :( (doing better now DP is back)

NorksAreMessy · 27/09/2013 20:30

Once my nephew and niece (6 and 4) were in the back of the car with DSis driving.
They had been absolute nightmares all day, and she had had ENOUGH.

She heard one whisper to the other 'I think she is going to cry now'.

They KNOW

dietcokeandwine · 27/09/2013 20:51

Bless you. You are so not being unreasonable. We've all done it. We'll all do it again. I had a similar day the other day - between the 'Muu-um' from the 9 year old, the 'Mummy, I neeeeeeed you' from the 4 year old and the general late-afternoon shouty-whinginess of the baby, I was losing it fast.

Then I went out to get something from the fridge we keep in the utility room, and both guinea pigs hurled themselves at their hutch bars and launched into frantic wheek wheek wheeking in the hope of getting a treat. At which point I shouted 'No, not you two as well, I CAN'T BEAR IT' and then went back in the house and shouted similar at the DC.

We all do it. Honest.

Tbh, I am in awe of the fact of any mum who is 'not normally a shouter' Grin (I am most definitely a shouter Blush)

Have lots of some wine, and chill.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/09/2013 21:03

I have 6 children, and I dont remember doing it before, I tend to use the "tune it out" method of turning it into white noise! I dont shout because in order to be heard I would need to have a voice of Brian Blessed-esque proportions and I dont know why, but in the last few years I seem to have become quite sensitive to noise. I had our wooden floors carpeted because every time a toy was dropped or a someone was too loud walking around, I cringed. I hate slamming doors, shouting, stomping, all the things you get with lots of kids....I didnt think this through did I? :o

Maybe I am just getting old! Sitting here now like my strings have been cut, and H just said "Get up when you like tomorrow, mornings are over rated anyway!" :o

OP posts:
TeWiSavesTheDay · 27/09/2013 21:17

Grin sleep helps!

AveryJessup · 27/09/2013 21:21

Six children? Jesus, no wonder you shouted 'leave me alone!' If I had six children, I would have a JUST LEAVE ME ALONE sign taped to my back and would spend most of my day hiding under the bed!

Liara · 27/09/2013 21:21

You have 6 children and you've only done this once Shock?

I feel very inferior.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/09/2013 21:29

Its not that big a deal honestly! In fact I have found that the more you have the easier it gets, having 2 was a fecking nightmare, I am sure that is why most people stop at 2! There is always someone to play with, always someone make a den with and (thank you 16 year old DD!) always someone to babysit so I can escape!

It goes 1-hard but copeable, 2-hell on toast with added demons, 3-hardish but more copeable, 4-not bad actually, 5-fine, 6- whats all the fuss about? :o

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/09/2013 23:15

Wee update:

I have just started running the bath and DD3 came in to use the loo (as she always does when I run a bath!) and said "Are you ok now mummy?" "Yes, I'm sorry I shouted but sometimes you lot get a bit loud!" "Giggles...I know, sorry, I love you mummy" "I love you too [her nickname]"

I think they have forgiven me :)

OP posts:
Calloh · 27/09/2013 23:29

Well that sounds much better then it usually sounds with us:

Me: mummy is sorry she got cross and shouted (hate that is slip into third person, I wonder if it's something to do with guilt)

Child: that's okay Mummy, you are a grumpy poo poo pants

Me: mummy loves you very much, I want you to know that.

Other child: we love you but you are always cross, don't worry mummy when you die we will live with daddy.

Me: hopefully that won't be for a long time but you do see it's not quite right to swing the baby through the air/ draw on the gloss work/dress the dog up clearly against his wishes.

Raspberry sounds. Me feeling my temper rising again

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 27/09/2013 23:30

I have 5 and I am famous for the length of time it takes me to go to the toilet Wink I have a book or four in there and just close the door and take five blissful minutes to myself, and ignore everything.
My youngest is nearly 7, and they have finally realised that it's not that I can't hear their shrieks and screams and thuds, I just choose not to and they can just fend for themselves for five minutes Grin
The rule is, unless someone is bleeding or on fire,I donot need to know about it until I emerge refreshed Grin

Calloh · 27/09/2013 23:40

Pom I need to cultivate that. I will put the Boden catalogue there and spend some happy minutes pretending to myself that life is a bit more like that and a bit less like the before section on a diazepam info-mercial.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 28/09/2013 02:46

The rule is, unless someone is bleeding or on fire,I donot need to know about it

I have that rule!!

Up because my ol' friend insomnia is back......but if I am doing something and get shrieked at I say "Is anyone bleeding? Is anyone really hurt? Is the house on fire?" "No" "Then it can wait!"

Also, YY to the books in the bog. The kids think that the top drawer in the changing unit is broken. It isnt, it holds my books and my emergency fags (yes yes, but you have 6 kids and then tell me I shouldnt have the odd cigarette!) and I jam it shut from underneath :o

OP posts:
goodasitgets · 28/09/2013 03:36

I'm laughing at this. I remember being premenstrual, my mum being menopausal, and my dad snapped at the dog "even you're bloody female"
Dog looked hurt as he never shouts and he had to bribe her with biscuits Grin