To take my 3yo to a party when....

[QueenofKelsingra]

his younger brother is currently vomiting up anything he eats?

Eldest has a birthday party tomorrow (a very close friend of his, mum is a close friend of mine). My youngest twin woke up sick this morning, is running a temp, not eating/throwing up anything he does eat.it is only vomiting at present, no signs of diarrhoea at the moment. so far my eldest son and the older twin are completely fine, no symptoms at all.

So WIBU to still take my eldest to the party tomorrow assuming both he and I remain symptom free? or are we likely to be contagious?

Agree with school and work, but can go into quarantine at weekends and parties are non-essentials. Also, partner and I sleep separately when child ill. She cares for him as she stays at home, and I go to a different room and stay away as much as possible to minimise risk. Just see it as the responsible thing to do really. I would be delighted to miss a wedding or weekend away because another parent didn't want their darling child to miss a party and their child then gave mine their lurgy.

thanks for all the thoughts. We went to the party. all the rest of us are still symptom free and the youngest hasn't V'd in 24 hours now.

it was a small party as I said, I know everyone going so I know there were no vulnerable people present. those I spoke with today all agreed that it would have been silly and overkill to have stayed away.

catsize the party was as important to my 'darling child' as a wedding may be to an adult. just because he is a child does not make his events any less important than an adult's.

thanks for your thoughts all!

I agree with you. I just don't think a child not attending a party is as significant as an entire family not attending a wedding or a holiday or something. I am just getting hacked off with the 'my child is ill, but life goes on, sod everyone else' attitude that prevails among many it seems. Life is tough sometimes. As we were no doubt all taught - we can't always have what we want! I am sure you agree that it would have been preferable for your child not to get the bug in the first place. I just hope that the carrier/his or her parent did not realise they were possibly carrying it. And if any of your friends at the party had shared my view, or that of other posters against you going, they are more likely to have gone with the flow, not upset the party etc. that air their true view (I have done this to keep the peace in such situations, usually by not saying anything). Hopefully all will be well!

I am sure you agree that it would have been preferable for your child not to get the bug in the first place. I just hope that the carrier/his or her parent did not realise they were possibly carrying it.

No, if child is not immuno-compromised, I would not agree. One of my X's really annoying habits was to insist that he knew from whom he had caught a lurgy. Even if someone has had an illness, you cannot be sure that you picked it up from them. Especially not when it is a common thing like the cold.

I'm on 3 different types of immunosuppressant drugs and I worry about bugs but I think YANBU.

Catsize I assume you wouldn't go to a restaurant, the cinema, the shops or anywhere public if one of your kids were ill...?

SDeuchers, erm, not sure why you think I think I would know who had given me a bug. And are you saying you would rather your child DID get a bug? Did you have a chicken pox party? Think you may have misunderstood my post.
candycoated, yep, pretty much, where D&V is concerned. See my above post for exemptions!

never crossed my mind to think about where he picked it up, kids get bugs, it happens and their immune systems are stronger for it in general. obviously I don't like to see my little one upset and unwell but bugs are part of life. I was at a party with good friends, they would absolutely tell me if they thought I shouldn't have done it, we have that kind of open and honest friendship - they just weren't around yesterday to ask hence asking on here!

thank you candy that is reassuring to know.

to clarify I would absolutely not have taken the one who was ill, and I would not have taken the eldest if he has showed any signs.

does it still count as a D&V if he is only V-ing??

You should definitely go, he might not even get it. I have twins and when one of them has been throwing up I have still taken the other one into school as they can't be missing school on the off-chance they may get sick. Your situation is no different so as long as he hasn't started with it tomorrow you should take him.

I hate this attitude, sorry. I'm a lone parent and emetophobic. This stuff is a big deal for me. YWBU.

Yes, still D&V if only V-ing. They are not clear of the bug until 48hrs after the last D or V.

Of course it does not count! D&V the clue is in the name, no D, then its not D&V. And this 48 hour thing is an arbirtrary time period that some schools apply, its not gospel.
Honestly, some people seem to want an entirely sterile environment, its way over the top.

Peppi, who said they wanted a sterile environment? I certainly don't! So, how do you measure it? I didn't know this was an arbitrary time set by schools, as we have not got to school stage yet. Just every GP, health visitor, paediatric consultant etc. I have come across has given this as a safe period. Of course it is arbitrary to an extent.
The V-ing still contains the bug, which is transmitted by the V onto hands, clothing etc. If still V-ing, but not D-ing, do you really think it has disappeared? D&V refers to the nature of the bug, not necessarily the symptom at the time. Would be interested (and possibly mildly alarmed!?) to know what you do in these circumstances.
Also find it a shame that those at this party have given their consent, so it is okay, but those to whom they may pass the bug are clueless and could be in worse circumstances, like some of the posters on here. All a bit selfish tbh.

yanbu so all you people would keep kids off school/ nursery because someone else in the house is ill . He probably won't even get it. Unless you mean you are also taking thelo?

I hate this faux outrage, assuming that immunosuppressed people cannot make their own risk assessments. I do not expect people to avoid the supermarket if their husband/child/sibling has a D&V bug. Life goes on. I know supermarkets and similar places are a prime opportunity to pick up bugs but if I don't lick the trolley or door handles, I assume I'll probably be ok.

You don't know that it was a D&V bug, kids throw up for a variety of reasons. One of mine is rarely sick but the other will throw up with a high temp, taking a slightly too large mouthful, snotty cold - if I kept his brother away from things every time DS2 vomited we'd spend most of our lives inside. DS2 has to be 24h clear of vomiting before he's allowed back to school (48h if D as well as V only).

I'd have checked with party host and then taken your older son :)

You haven't a clue about what bug it was or whether there was one at all. Could be food poisoning, could be anything non-communicable. This hysterical nonsense about quarantining anyone that even looks peaky is just daft.
I have a child that is immunocompromised, I don't expect everyone else to hide away without very good reason.

as an update - party was good fun. just me and DS1 went. H at home with DT1 and V-ing DT2. DS1 and DT1 still no signs of anything. DT2 still V-ing and grouchy. have come to the conclusion that it is probably his teeth as ruddy cheeked and chomping.

so I guess it was the right call to take him this time!