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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that someone I had an affair with, still posts on...

64 replies

ignoreorwhat · 27/09/2013 10:23

a facebook page he set up to communicate with me.

As this is aibu, I want to know what you would think. He nearly left his wife for me but didn't in the end, after two years of saying he wanted to, could live without me etc.

It was obviously much more messy than that, and i got hurt, but it's been over a year since i told him where to go, and as far as I've heard his wife and he are making a go of it.

Yet he's taking the piss out of her. The facebook page has photos on it to do with me. Not of me. Messages that he misses me. He is blocked by me btw. I know it still exists as my now partner did a search, and the page is still there.

OP posts:
PeppermintPasty · 27/09/2013 10:24

You're kidding me, right?

Actually, don't answer that.

frumpet · 27/09/2013 10:25

I presume you ended the relationship ? Are the posts recent or historical and why on earth was your partner searching for the page ?

Original poster
ignoreorwhat · 27/09/2013 10:25

oh and it's not under his real name so would be hard to find. it's possible he's blocked certain people so they won't find it.

drip feed--my friend asked him to delete it in june, it went, but it's back again.

OP posts:
Original poster
ignoreorwhat · 27/09/2013 10:26

that's where the drip comes in, as my friend had asked him to delete it, i was curious that he was still gone.

i wanted to know.

OP posts:
HairyGrotter · 27/09/2013 10:26

You've no leg to stand on, abhorrent behaviour attributed to both of you scummers. Disgusting

thebody · 27/09/2013 10:27

I think you should do the first part of your user name and move on. don't look back.

Original poster
ignoreorwhat · 27/09/2013 10:27

my partner knows what happened, no this isn't a joke. I got the same spiel as many others have, the misery, the marriage over all that. BUt i finished yes one yr ago.

the latest post is august yes.

OP posts:
UriGeller · 27/09/2013 10:28

Stop looking for it. Clear it from your mind and you life.

Whatever he wants to do with his time has nothing to do with you anymore.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 27/09/2013 10:28

So it's a decoy page that he set up so that his wife wouldn't find out about you, and he could 'publicly' say he missed you etc, without her finding out?

I'd bet my house that there are a lot of people like you who think the page is about them. Who he's given the same nickname too, shared the same jokes and experiences with. He's now using it for someone else. There'd be no benefit in maintaining it, otherwise, and he wouldn't have put it back up.

He's blocked you so that you don't post on it and claim that it's all about you. Can't have your OW knowing that each other exist!

Hegsy · 27/09/2013 10:29

facepalm why are you getting your current partner to look for this? If you've blocked him and the page then just get on with your life, what he does is his and his wifes business. Just ignore it.

Also hope you've brought your hard hat!

MammaTJ · 27/09/2013 10:29

Best not to have an affair with a married man in the first place. This happening as a result of that is your own fault.

Original poster
ignoreorwhat · 27/09/2013 10:29

yes fine. scummers. but honestly, ok had i put this in chat or wwyd, i would have been asking for some sort of understanding of why he's doing it.

i don't give a shit, but yes i am angry it's still there.

OP posts:
HairyGrotter · 27/09/2013 10:30

Caja probably has it spot on. Gutted ha

TheOrcHeadKeeper · 27/09/2013 10:30

You both did something awful and he's continuing it. Stay the fuck away is probably the best advice. That poor bloody wife.

thebody · 27/09/2013 10:31

because he's a twat. now move on.

TheOrcHeadKeeper · 27/09/2013 10:31

And it's bad that it's still there but what does it matter to you? You can ignore it and most people can't find it so just walk away!

Original poster
ignoreorwhat · 27/09/2013 10:32

he's not blocked me on it!!

my friend told him to delete it, on that page back in june, by pm. he did.

it's back.

in aug he wrote some woe is me about being in hospital. he says my name on it. i can see all the posts!!

if he were using it for other women they'd see what the public can see. oh, yes, that aswel it's public.

OP posts:
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 27/09/2013 10:33

Still doesn't matter.

Walk away.

Think of it as the price you pay for getting involved with someone like that & behaving like that.

HairyGrotter · 27/09/2013 10:33

Your new partner must be very open and tolerant. Just ignore it, why let it get to you if you don't have residual feelings about him? I feel for his wife!

Original poster
ignoreorwhat · 27/09/2013 10:34

caja, honestly. it's only about me. it's creepy. and i know i'm not allowed to say this here, in aibu, but yes his poor bloody wife.

OP posts:
absentmindeddooooodles · 27/09/2013 10:34

Errrmmmmm.....ignore it maybe?

Holio · 27/09/2013 10:34

Who cares!

Original poster
ignoreorwhat · 27/09/2013 10:35

i don't care for him, yes there are residual feelings, of 'something' i'm human.

my partner, well i was honest from the start.

it's all a bit odd. and i've ignored it. just pisses me off really.

OP posts:
TheOrcHeadKeeper · 27/09/2013 10:37

Well if there are residual feelings then all the more reason to stay out of that whole mess. Just hope his wife sees the light sooner rather than later.

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 27/09/2013 10:37

Why are you getting your new partner to stalk your ex online? Thats creepy behaviour,

I bet him taking the piss out of his wife didn't bother you when you were together, I imagine you both had a good laugh at her expense, setting up your facebook page and declaring your feelings in public. Why does it bother you now?

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