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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asking how I give my child an idea of the value of money.

7 replies

JakeBullet · 26/09/2013 07:54

Maybe this needs to go in Money Matters or Legal but would appreciate people's ideas about this.

DS will be 11 this year, he has an autistic spectrum disorder (higher functioning), ADHD and mild learning issues as a result.

My in-laws are fairly wealthy and have set up a Bond which will mature when DS is 21. All in all the amount will be around £50k which is a sizeable sum for a 21 year old to have in his possession.

As my DS has mild learning issues and is also very impulsive I cannot help being a bit concerned about him having such a large sum of money when he is barely out of his teens. I would like my in-laws to add a safeguard to it so that DS receives guidance before accessing a large amount.

As myself and DS 's Dad are separated I feel that it is not appropriate for that person to be me although I would like to be consulted in any future discussions which might take place. I am hoping that ex SIL or even DS's Dad might step into the role.

I would like to give DS some understanding of the value of money. At the moment like most 10 year olds he thinks money is harvested from the great machine in the wall.....despite my explanations. As he is getting older I want to try and give him some money responsibility so that he gets the idea of it not being a never ending supply etc.

I think the other reason I am worrying is that his Dad has never been good with money....he has always known that one day he will be rich..ish. His parents are currently having three luxury houses built and when sold all their children will get a sum of around £300k and more will be put by for DS. Ex DH is a lovely man but crap and impulsive with money...his parents gave him a cheque for £10k about four years ago and he blew it in a year! He is talking about buying a house when he gets this money and a smaller place as a buy to let. Where he currently lives is cheap so he could easily do this and have money to spare.

DS is a"chip off the old block" and equally lovely as exDH but just as impulsive in nature. I want to give him a better idea of money but would love some ideas about how to start. I don't want him coasting through life just knowing that one day inheritance will be his so no need to make any effort.

I try and involve him already in the weekly budget....I am NOT wealthy but not that materialistic either so money is just a means to pay bills and feed us.

DS doesn't currently get pocket money but I could try this and say all treats need to come out of it.

I am also thinking about setting him up his own bank account and encouraging him to check it on a regular basis. If I put a small amount in there and tell him to use it but explain about budgeting that might help.

What else?

OP posts:
thegoldenfool · 26/09/2013 08:02

sounds like the beginning of a good long term plan

my mum worked out how much she spent on my clothes for a year when i was about 14 and the next year gave me a bank account with that much money saying, if you spend it on going out or one coat that will be tough you won´t get any more

i can see that that wouldn´t work for everyone ( i may have spent a bit on going out but not enough to have no clothes and she knew that!), can you adapt it for DS in a few years so he does learn some consequences in a soft way?

shewhowines · 26/09/2013 08:29

Pocket money is a good start. Linking it to effort involved, is another.

That need to make decisions on how it is spent but they also need to run out to appreciate the value of it.

LisaMedicus · 26/09/2013 09:42

I've posted before. Over the summer I took my six year old to charity shops once a week. I gave him a set amount of money (I budgeted too high, lesson learned) and he could buy up to that amount. Anything he didn't spend he could save until next week. If he wanted a big ticket item he could borrow from me but for every pound he borrowed he lost £1.50 for next week (actually he negotiated it down to £1.20).

I also have said that we have to pay Santa for the presents he brings.

Can you work with him with a budget for his clothes, a budget for toys/games, and a budget for 'going out' and show him how things work? How about finding a big ticket item and getting him to work out how he can find savings from his budgets to afford it?

Good luck.

MRSJWRTWR · 26/09/2013 10:24

I set up a bank account for DS1 when he turned 13 and now pay his pocket money directly into it (£30 month). Money given for Christmas and birthdays is also deposited. He then has to pay for any social activities ie. cinema, bowling with friends etc, any other 'stuff' he wants and save for larger purchases. So far he has bought himself a tablet and an electric remote control car. The car was £189 so did take some saving for.

I still buy all clothes, toiletries and bits for school.

UniS · 26/09/2013 10:27

pocket money is a good thing. so is making pocket money conditional on chores. Don't make a big deal of it, but if the chores are not done that week no pocket money is given.

DS is 7, so a bit younger than your DS. He has had chore linked £1 pocket money for about a year now. He can work out how many weeks he will have to save for big ticket items. I never give loans. I give him his pocket money in a mix of coins, not just £1 coin. He has 3 money boxes ( his choice) for "spending money", "sports kit savings" and "buying christmas presents"
If he wins money ( he competes) he keeps it and it goes into his sport kit savings pot.
If he "earns " extra -( he did a table top sale of old toys last week) he can chose what to do with it, it tends to go in his sport kits pot as he is saving for a BIG ticket item.
Some weeks he doesn't want to do his chore, he doesn't get pocket money, his choice. Most weeks the chore is undertaken with bad grace but done to a reasonable standard as its one he is well capable of doing.

JakeBullet · 26/09/2013 14:49

Some good ideas here so thank you. He doesn't know about this money to come at 18-21 and he doesn't need to know for the time being. I like the idea of giving him a budget for his clothes etc at a certain age and will look into that.

The charity shop idea is a great idea too....we use charity shops a lot so he can do this.

OP posts:
eltsihT · 26/09/2013 15:48

We were given bank accounts when we started high school. i think i got £150 a month and had to either buy stuff to make packed lunches or budget for school dinners. We also had to pay for groups... when we joined new groups money went up. Any money we saved we kept.

My brother blew his money first month he had it on trainers and had to borrow money(dad made him pay interest) so he could afford lunches.

Not sure if it would work now with cashless canteens though. But it certainly taught me about money

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