to wish dd's nursery didn't have to assess her and give her targets?

[DefiniteMaybe]

I know it's part of the eyfs and they have to, but ffs, she's 2!
I want to tell them to back the fuck off and let her play. I send her to nursery so she can play whilst I study for my degree, not to be given targets to meet. As long as they cuddle her when she needs it and give her fun things to do we're both happy.
They gave me a sheet when I picked her up the other day and told me to write down the things she can do at home. But, I can't see the point. Is there a point? Can we opt out?

Targets at that age are fine as long as it's along the lines of "this is the next stage of development we're looking for".
After all we do that with our own dc, don't we? "They counted to 2 this morning for the first time, isn't that exciting!"

It's not okay if they're telling the child "we want you to do this next..."

This is the reason why I am leaving childminding after 11 years

her nursery has to do it for all their children for their nursery to get their funding etc and tbh I would want my child to be meeting her milestones nursery is all about developing through play and not just for messing about , send your dd to a childminder if you need her looked after but tbh childminders need to do the same as the nursery they need to set plans do reports on their charges

They're not setting targets though, they're monitoring her development.
that

French babies sleep through by 12 weeks, eat four meals a day by six months, at 8, 12, 4 and 8, are out of nappies by 24 months, attend birthday parties at unknown homes on their own at 3...

In answer to one of your questions, yes you CAN opt out of the eyfs. It is not encouraged as sooner or later if you choose to opt into the school system your child will be assessed anyway. I'm led to believe its a hard process, But you can do it. Maybe try phoning the department of education people to find out how you go about it. (I asked my childminding quality assurance person how to do it once, on request of parents, and she wouldn't tell me how to do it, but I found out of someone else it could be done through the education people).

I agree that your child needs assessing so the correct level of activities can be provided though. I think sometimes it's just the way it is worded to parents is the issue and the amount of paperwork that is expected to show it is being carried out is part of the problem with the eyfs.

Developmental concerns used to be picked up with less paperwork in the past- it's not like people didn't think about them til a mountain of paperwork descended on them, and even when it has, it doesn't always answer the question as these things are fluid at this age.

I think this constant monitoring and having to demonstrate examples for every single child of very basic things interferes with the nursery workers ability to interact genuinely with the children= as it forces them to be constantly evaluating the child instead of really getting down and playing with them/encouraging play. It's just a weird way to view children.

YY far too much time spent on paperwork for Ofsted these days. It was a very bad idea to extend their empire into pre-school. Entirely wrong approach to infants and toddlers.

Mumsy some did...more slipped through the net.

I totally agree. Would much rather the staff interacted with the children than making copious notes. Or spent time planning fun activities than highlighting boxes.

My daughter's record once said that she didn't recognise a triangle. When I asked her she said " the one they showed me had curved corners". It's just ticking boxes in a rather inaccurate way.