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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to not want DDs dad to chop a chunk of DDs hair off as a 'keepsake' yet?

21 replies

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop · 25/09/2013 23:17

He has her first babygrow and hospital tag, but now wants to chop off a 'keepsake' of her hair (1 y/o). In one sense I'm glad he's showing interest, but in the other sense, it seems a bit superficial seeing as he barely bothers with her.

I've said when she has her first haircut I will save the first bit off, but he said he wants it now so her hair doesn't change colour. Her hair is short and quite fine, and a chunk would show, so aibu to say no?
He has phoned me twice in the past week over it, he hasn't phoned/texted about anything other than cancelling or changing contact since Christmas before that so it does seem a big deal (suddenly) to him?

OP posts:

TaurielTest · 25/09/2013 23:20

he doesn't suddenly want hair for a DNA test does he?

comedycentral · 25/09/2013 23:20

Tell him to f**k off! It's her hair nit an ornament

BrianTheMole · 25/09/2013 23:23

he doesn't suddenly want hair for a DNA test does he?

hmm. I'd think that too. People normally wait until the first haircut.

Jellybeanz1 · 25/09/2013 23:23

OMG Puddock that sounds suspicious doesn't it.

BrianTheMole · 25/09/2013 23:23

And why the urgency? Its just hair!

TaurielTest · 25/09/2013 23:24

sorry, just realised that could be really offensive to you - or him - ...
I think - taking it at face value - YANB at all U to insist that he waits until your DC's first haircut before having a lock of her hair.

Original poster

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop · 25/09/2013 23:25

Nope, that would make more sense, but we already had that as protest to asking for child maintenance.

OP posts:

edam · 25/09/2013 23:25

Say NO. Weird request, puddock might be right.

Catsize · 25/09/2013 23:37

I cut my son's first lock and it is in a locket. Am I odd?

selsigfach · 25/09/2013 23:46

catsize I doubt you have ever claimed the child you gave birth to is not your own!
Op, he sounds like a cock, but I guess you already know that. Tell him where to go.

LaurieFairyCake · 25/09/2013 23:51

I think you should do this.

Very carefully cut one hair from all over her head so it doesn't show in one clump and send it to him.

Well at least that's what you should let him think you did

While secretly saying "here Puss Puss" or whatever random animal has the hair most like your dd's

Jellybeanz1 · 25/09/2013 23:56

Nice one Fairy meiow

Original poster

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop · 25/09/2013 23:57

hmm, one of those fluffy sand coloured hamsters might do the trick, any offers ?!

Glad I'm not being too unfair or precious!

OP posts:

Jellybeanz1 · 25/09/2013 23:59

You could go to a petting zoo.

missingmumxox · 26/09/2013 00:08

? has your child only got one lock of hair that need cutting? last time I looked babies have 2 hospital bands, the first baby grow well you might have a point there.

DNA, No not from a lock of hair you need hair from the shaft, so unless you are plucking it, it won't work so if that is his wish then he will spend a lot of money for nowt.

Original poster

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop · 26/09/2013 00:18

My child has no locks of hair that need cutting!
Patchy isn't a look I'm aiming for!
And I have the other band, he didn't need both?

OP posts:

missingmumxox · 26/09/2013 00:35

that is the point I was trying to make, you have a band, he hasn't got the first, patchy hair QED you don't need to cut it yet, so don't cut it.

please don't get all upset about the "firsts" as mum you will get most of them, the important ones, if he is really trying for DNA testing then he is on a hiding to nothing.

Enjoy your baby and remember you get most of the firsts the best ones.

On another note on hair, my aunt was the youngest of 5 and a 20 year dif between her and my Mum, she always felt she was the one child too many, no memento's to her unlike the first 4, a couple of years ago, I found a envelop with her name X's first cut and the date, when me and another aunt where clearing out gramps home.

she burst into tears when we gave it to her and realised they did care. it was a small thing but made her feel loved, she had felt loved but thought the lack of mementos was a reflection on her.

really no to patchy hair, let him wait.

WafflyVersatile · 26/09/2013 01:06

text him back pointing out that you can't get a DNA test from a lock of hair but you'll happily send him a cotton swab from the inside of her mouth if he wants to waste his money.

Catsize · 26/09/2013 08:08

selsig, not sure it has been confirmed that the dad is disputing paternity. Just lots of cynical posts!

TigerSwallowTail · 26/09/2013 08:22

If you say no do you think he'll then ask for contact and cut it off himself anyway?

Original poster

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop · 26/09/2013 09:07

DNA got done already at 9 months when I said I would go to CSA if he didn't start paying the (lower) maintenance, and contact is supervised by either me or his sister.

OP posts:

Flip