to be worried about my sister

[ConcernedSister]

My sister got married last year to the dad of her 3 children who she had been with nearly 6 years. Earlier this year though she found ge had cheated and they broke up.

Since they split she has been out getting drunk and sleeping with random guys.

I am not worried about the children directly because she does this when they are at their dads but I do worry about her.

The other day I asked her how many men she had been with since they split and she said 'about 15 I think' (that is since April). I said 'woah that is a lot shouldnt you calm down?' and she got all defensive and then started attacking me saying that she still had slept with less people than me.

I am not trying to have a go or judge I am just concerned. So AIBU?

What are you worried about?

She's a grown up, she will make her own decisions.

I would be worried about my sister too if she behaved like this. Getting drunk and going home with random guys is potentially dangerous but my number one concern would be that she is using adequate protection.

Sounds like another baby is the last thing she needs.

Sounds like her self esteem has taken a knocking and she is bolstering it with other men. She will calm down I think. Provided she is using condoms to protect her health I think it is not your business.

Yes she is an adult but I worry it is a reaction to wgat her ex did rather than something she wants to do - does that make sense?

i would see it as a reaction to.. depending on how long she keeps it up i woudlnt worry.

she could and i have seen it done before. that she needs to get it out there.. prove shes still got it, have a bit of wild fun put some other man between her and her ex.... unhealthy but long as its not going on for months and months.

So basically you are all saying yes IABU?

Of course it is a reaction to what her ex did!

She is a grown up though, and behaving responsibly with regards to the children. Hopefully she is doing the same with regards to her health too. Her decisions though. She may regret them later, but she would be much more able to talk to you about it if she did if you managed to not be judgemental now, or come across as such. The danger of you expressing your concern is that it might come across as you judging her.

Im not judging. In the past before DH I had been with a few people's share of men and she knows that, but in hindsight saying 'that is a lot' probably did come over that way

Of course your not BU. Your concerned.

I very much think your concern is out of a place of love for her.

If she is genuinely having the time of her life with all these different men then great- but if they are just sticking plasters to a deep wound she is going to end up feeling worse.

I do think its likely she wants to prove to herself that she must be worthy and desirable to men.

I don't think your judging her at all, I just think you looking into this long term and knowing its likely she will regret this. You know your sister after all.