To think birthdays with a nought aren't such a huge deal.

[Arabesque]

I'm having a birthday with a nought in it soon and am just planning a nice family meal that evening. However, some people are acting as if I'm refusing to celebrate Christmas or something.

To each their own and all that but AIBU in thinking we've gone a bit OTT about celebrating 'big' birthdays. Every week there seems to be a 40th or 50th birthday party going on or a tea party in work for someone who turned 30. When did birthdays with a zero become such a big deal? I don't remember my parents making a song and dance every time their age moved up a decade.

God no.
I do not need to be validated by receiving presents I don't need and having a pointless 'do'.
Also resent folks who assume I am hysterically happy to share in their revelry for the big 6-'oh' (don't you just loathe that expression?) or whatever.
I remember a work colleague grandly emailing about a million of us to inform us that she was not accepting presents that year.
I wonder why she bothered. I had no intention of marking her birthday in any shape or form.

Ditto naming ceremonies (cringe), engagement/stag/hen/weddings when you have been together for a decade and have kids/baby shower and al that sort of malarkey.

Because over the next few months we have several special people having 70th birthdays. We are lucky that they are all well and fit enough to be able to have a special celebration and that 3 generations of the family will be able to attend.
We didn't really do the 60th birthdays - so no repeat celebrations - and given the health issues of the last few years I'm not going to bank on being able to have special celebrations when they reach their 80th birthdays.

My father died shortly before my last 'significant' birthday and I was also recovering from a major operation myself. However it still didn't stop some people going 'oooh what are you doing for your birthday. Are you going to have a party'???? It's that kind of lack of perspective of big birthdays that really annoys me.
To some people, or in certain circumstances, they're not a big deal. People shouldn't be pressurised, like the OP, into feeling there's something sad or anti social about not turning every fecking birthday with a nought into a circus.

Well that does sound like a genuine reason for celebrating MrsCakes :). For me it just feels like we did it all not that long ago (well 10 years but it's gone so fast) with all the same people, and seems a little bit attention-grabby.

I feel your pain Arabesque. My nought birthday (admittedly the big one in my culture) is not until December and my mother is already making Big Plans. Wish I could wake up and just quietly be 51. She is one of these people who centre all their anxieties on big occasions, has been known to rush from the table in tears because something wasn't perfect, but I love her and I have moved far away from her and I can't bear to hurt her. I just happen to be one of these people who hate, hate, hate stress.

I had a meal for my 40th nothing special but we did a 50th and 60th little do for my mum she had a nice night and was made a fuss off, I think you are being a little U people can celebrate their naught birthdays with as many streamers and banners as they like

I don't need presents. I do like them and I do enjoy a celebration of Fabulous Me. I've spent quite enough of my life riven with self-doubt, dammit.

On another note, I also have a large and disparate circle of friends and I bloody love the chance to bring them together and meet/catch up with each other. There is a huge pleasure in seeing people from completely different areas of your life getting on.

Some folk are right fucking misery guts.

Oh don't be so groutchy. No one's saying you shouldn't celebrate birthdays, nought ones or otherwise, just that it seems to have become a big big big thing nowadays and not everyone wants to go overboard on 30th and 40th birthdays which aren't massive milestones.

Do whatever you want to do /or not. I don't throw parties but I do like to acknowledge birthdays as it means you've been lucky enough to have another year of life, many people don't get to 21, 38 or 47 or 60. Be grateful you have!

(someones bound to say they've had a shit life etc but not everyone has and they still complain) carpe diem!

Its my 40th on Friday. I did have plans for a meal on the Friday & then to go away with Dp for the weekend.

Sadly my Mil died last week. I really don't think its appropriate to celebrate my birthday, we still have to bury her, funeral isn't til next Thursday.

Everyone knows about Mil but Im still being asked what i am doing etc for my 40th.

If I didn't celebrate them I'd forget how old I am? a good excuse for being 10 years younger as I haven't had a party in a while.

We're not miseries ILetHimKeep

We just don't do birthdays, nothing wrong in that.

I remember my parents celebrating their 40th, 50th and recently their 60th birthdays. No fuss at all. They went out for a meal together, or - as birthdays in summer and close together - since we left home a special holiday. No parties or anything though.

DH and I had our 40th birthdays this year. No parties arranged nor wanted. Went out for a meal with each other and DD on the day. We both received special gifts - a new DSLR for me, a watch for DH - which cost way mrore than we would normally spend on birthday gifts. We went on holiday weekend of my birthday but that's mainly as it is next to half term. We did have a weekend in London for DH's birthday and tied in the meal on the day there too.

We decided to spend the money on ourselves rather than shelling out for parties which nether of us were bothered about.

I got the OFSTED call at school on my birthday so mostly mine was spent working to make sure everything was ready for next day! Not quite the celebration one might wish for, lol!

The idea of celebrating my birthday with a meal with my partner makes me feel quite weak with horror. That may say more about me than anything else, of course. I eat with him most nights, dammit.

Birthdays aren't exactly the same big thing for adults as for children, I think? So it's nice just to have one big party between certain intervals (in this case, decades, as round numbers) I guess.

Celebrated my 21st birthday a few days ago. Massive party. Have no idea why as 21 isn't significant in the UK- I can apply to adopt a child now. I can get a flying licence. I can supervise a learner driver. That's pretty much it. Not the big thing it's made out to be!

My mum doesn't celebrate her birthday really, and therefore we like doing nice celebrations for her decade birthdays as although minor small birthdays don't make a difference as such, it's fun just to have one big day of 'how far have you come!' and a special day for YOU once every now and then, for example, she had a large by her standards (not many really) celebration for her 40th.

I had a great 50th. Had a big party at home. A good friend did all the catering free (I just paid for food not her time... She is a caterer) and my invites said no presents just donations to one of my charities. It was fabulous. All my friends and my parents and brother.
But if you don't want to then that's your choice.