I probably am just for asking the question - but how is this possible??

[moominmarvellous]

I have a friend of a friend who is on Instagram and every week there is a photograph of her latest purchase.

Last week a brand new travel system for her 9 month old daughter (her winter look apparently).

This week watch/bangle/earrings and necklace set entitled My New White Gold Jewellery. Previously it's various new shoes/bags/outfits for nights out.

She doesn't work.

She gets no maintenance from her DD's father.

She has a brand new build flat kitted out with brand new furniture and accessories.

She has told me previously that her daughter never wears the same outfit twice.

I don't begrudge her a decent life at all, I don't feel she doesn't deserve decent things - I think everyone does! But just how is this possible?

DH & I both work, struggle to afford childcare so we can both bring in an income and there is just no way I could afford seasonal buggies for my child or sets of expensive accessories for myself. My fridge is largely bare even after my weekly shop as I buy purely essentials/meal ingredients. We're not big holiday people, last three years have been long weekends in the UK, so I'm not spending in other areas.

I like the girl, and have no ulterior motive here. Blocking her from Instagram will mean I wont give it anymore thought, but doesn't answer the question, from a mathematical and logical point of view - how is it possible?

Well, obviously, she gets loads more extra cash in benefits, innit?

This sort of thing - I've probably left myself open to a whole new world of spam now. Things I do in the interests of research!

How do you know none of it is second hand? I buy all my prams and pushchairs second hand and with many of them you would never know because they are in immaculate condition. I have about 4/5 different pushchairs (a couple on loan to friends in need, the others for waking/shopping/throw in the car for 5 minute trips).
Also I buy many of my daughters clothes on eBay second hand, again immaculate.
I do have pots of money, but I can't bring myself to pay 4x as much for something just for the sake of being the first person to use it.

Online bingo wins?

Could be all sorts of reasons. Definitely not from a average wage with bills being paid that's for certain.

My guess is on credit esp the catalogues. Plus reselling on eBay or on selling groups on fb (my cousin does this). Putting it credit cards and them only paying the minimum back each month?

Or of course there's shoplifting, handling and receiving stolen goods, and prostitution.

But this kind of spending isn't manageable on an average wage. I doubt someone who works a 40+ hour week for an average wage would be ok about such levels of spending. I work too bloody hard to waste my salary in a frivolous manner. I just couldn't justify it to myself.

The thing is, I know her well enough to know she hasn't won the lottery. I also know she hasn't got rich parents and I know it's not secondhand because she said what it cost plus delivery from John Lewis on the post.

I have spoken to her about money once when she said that her DD's father pays no maintenance. I said that wasn't fair as she had to shoulder all the costs and her words to me were 'To be honest with you, I'm alright. I'm rolling in it at the moment' so I said are you? And she said, 'Well yes. Everything's paid for isn't it?' I'm not saying that to be provocative that's what she said. So I just said oh right.

Maybe she does do something underhand which obviously she doesnt mention but she really doesn't strike me as the type.

If you are asking if benefits could be enough to pay for this lifestyle, then the answer is No.

If you doubt this then go online and do a benefit check.

Who is she on nights out with? Chance scarecrows ahead had people in her life that you no nothing about and possibly debt on top.

My SIL is like this and I know she hasn't got generous parents, savings etc and it's all new. You can't help but wonder, there's nothing wrong with that!

In my SIL's case I think she buys everything through a catalogue so she's paying about ten times as much but over a very long time. Not good.

"Chance scarecrows"?? Chances are.

I would think either her parents are helping or she has the odd generous boyfriend.

It's unfair to accuse the OP of envying this woman, she is not frothing about benefits.

Just look at this way op, you won't have childcare to pay for ever. Your in work now so the chances are you will get promotions and progress up the career ladder. By the time her dc are in school and she has no choice but to get a job she will be starting from the bottom.

I get where your coming from though. I was a single parent on benefits for a while I can honestly say I had a better standard of living then. I had more disposable income than I do working now.

I suppose I was wondering that - would benefits fund that kind of lifestyle in reality? Based on what I know about her I think it must be a credit card then. And that's very true about life/house insurance etc although we don't have a pension - the things which automatically come out of the account for those things probably would cover what she spends on non-essential items.

I'm honestly not envious, and genuinely have no ill feeling toward the woman I'm talking about. I don't feel like I want to report her or anything like that - it just seems so extreme that it made me wonder.

Ha ha! I did wonder about the scarecrows.

I've wondered about this sort of thing before. And I've figured it all down to priorities. Dh and I put away a lot of money each month into savings to pay for birthdays, Christmas, clothes, nights out etc. (all in 'pots' and all on a spread sheet. The joys of being married to an accountant!) if we didn't do this we would have a lot more money at the end of the month, but we don't we 'struggle' when dd1 wants to join gymnastics I can't afford it, when dd2 wants to go swimming more I can't afford it. If I want to put more petrol in my car than usual I have to think about it because I can't afford it. But if I prioritised these things over what we put money aside for each month (cutting down on what we want to spend on Christmas or deciding not to have nights out) then we could easily afford all these things.

In my SIL's case I think she buys everything through a catalogue so she's paying about ten times as much but over a very long time.

Oh yes, 50p a week for the rest of your life. I had forgotten about that option.

I used to get a lot of things from charity shops. Maybe its something smilar.

Hmm. Maybe she was left an inheritance by someone? A grandparent, perhaps?

Does she actually have these things?

I mean, some kids when I was young were always showing you things in the Argos catalogue "that's what I'm gonna get for my birthday" and I'd think, blimey, my Mum and Dad could never afford to buy ME that. . . but they never got them either - it was just wishful thinking.

Maybe she says her DD never wears anything twice because she has heard that said about Harper Beckham or Suri Cruise and thinks that's what loving parents do so she pretends she does also.