AIBU to feel like utter shit for snapping at my toddler

[somewherewest]

That's it really. I was stressed, DS was whinging and whinging (which isn't usual for him) and I lost my temper and snapped at him to "stop whinging" several times over a few minutes (we were trying to get ready to go out). DH told me I was being "horrible" to DS and I feel awful. He's only little (1 year 9 months) and I've never done anything like that before. My own mother had a horrible temper and I remember being scared of her as a child, and now I feel like I'm turning into her . Am I over-reacting because of my own baggage? Does everyone snap at their toddlers sometimes?

...and I was also shouting at DH in front of DS. Again I feel like shit for that (reminds me of my own parents shouting at each other).

Welcome to stressed out motherhood. Yes we all do it and yes we feel guilty too.
Don't worry too much, tomorrow is another day.

It happens. Sometimes it does get too much. Happened to me and dd (4) last week trying to get her out the door to school and she was on a go slow all morning, I was ridden with PMT, and I snapped at her and she just burst into tears and I felt like absolute shit and apologised right away.

Don't beat yourself up too much, we all have a breaking point. Just have to work on spotting when we are close to it before it's too late and taking a step back to breathe and calm down, often easier said than done though!

I screamed in DD's face, in front of myvmother, the night before she had a brain haemorrhage and subsequently died.

I still feel like shit 11 years later

You are only human and of course everyone snaps from time to time.

The fact that you are even worrying about it makes it seem to me unlikely that you will ever be like your mother or that your DS will be scared of you. Be kind to yourself.

You are not a shit mother and not crap in any way.

You are normal. Anyone who says they have never lost it or got to the end of their tether with whining, bickering, not putting shoes on etc is a liar. You are showing you care by asking the question.

Tomorrow is another day...

All will be fine.

Exit.

It happens OP. Try not to worry about today and just resolve to react better next time.

Thanks.

It happens. It doesn't make you a bad mum. Please be kind to yourself.

I've had a terrible day, considering doing something massive and serious, just wanted to come home and see my baby girl... and was 'rowing' with her within minutes of getting home

The whining a toddler can achieve is scientifically proven to be the most irritating and annoying thing in the world.

On a more serious note, I find I calm down and deal with tantrums and whining better if I try and put myself in my DCs place and work out what they are irritated by. Sometimes it is understandable and that helps me feel more in control of the situation.

He won't remember so it's not too late to make sure he doesn't remember you like you do your own mum.
However ,I think we'd all be lying if we said we didn't shout our kids every now and again. the only difference is ,some parents do it more than others.
I think my son is always going to remember me as a moaner ,lol, but he definitely isn't scared of me and I plan to keep it that way!!

Less than two weeks ago I posted on here saying I'd shouted at my 2.5 year old to get into bed and how terrible I felt.

We all do it and we all feel awful afterwards.

I snapped at DD 26 months as I couldn't get her to tell me where she'd hidden something I really needed.

After ten minutes of trying to gently coax it out of her I'm ashamed to say I "sulked" with a 2 year old and said "where is it?!" in a raised voice.

She just shouted "I'm sad!" and ran off down the hall - I felt awful!

Don't worry too much. When I did go into her room she was humming to herself and smiling away at a doll! I said sorry and she just said "that's OK mummy!"

She finally led me to her plastic oven where I found not just the thing I'd been looking for that day but a whole treasure trove of missing items from around the house

I felt daft for not controlling myself but she isn't traumatised.