…to think that this was unreasonable?

[EmmaKate1985]

When I was 9 my mum gave me the talk about periods, and OK, explained fairly well what they were. However, both my parents approach to the 'facts of life' talk was to say nowt and hope I pick it up from somewhere else. When I started my periods aged 11, I had a male teacher so I asked my mum - "D'you think Mr 'X' knows about periods?" Her reply was "Oh, yes, I mean he's got children". I, at the time was like, "eh???" Because she's explained periods to me but now how that linked to reproduction so I went around thinking that periods were a totally separate issue from having babies - i.e. a totally 'stand alone' thing.
Especially if you've been a parent or in a parenting role to teenage daughters, what do you think of this? D'you think my Mum was essentially negligent in yes, ok, telling me about 'periods' but not linking it up with the whole picture of reproduction but then sort of expecting me to somehow know?

I appreciate this was from my childhood but I now have tween/teenage stepdaughters so this sort of issue may come up.

Yes you need to talk about periods, and sex, and contraception etc.

As an aside when I had the talk about periods aged about 9 I was obviously told, with hindsight, that periods start from the age of 11 to 17, but I understood it as you had a continuous period from the age of 11 to 17, and that was it.

I though I was dying when my period kept stopping and starting at aged 11. I was terribly worried, for months!

Moral of the story-make explanations as clear as you can.

Ah thanks Bowlersarm - yes - the lack of clarification over periods also meant problems for you as well! I'm sorry you felt like that at a young age.

What you're saying is basically that you DO need to link periods up with reproduction, pregnancy and childbirth and not just give the impression (as I was) that it's a 'stand alone' thing.

Just curious: How did she explain periods without mentioning eggs and wombs and babies?

My Mum gave me a very thorough explanation when I was around 8 yrs and querying why she was lying in bed instead of making me breakfast

I don't know that I think it negligent to skip over it. People have very different embarrassment thresholds about such things, perhaps stemming tot heir own upbringing? It's fairly reasonable to assume you would pick it up elsewhere - our school had specific "girly talk" times (we got periods and condoms, the boys got the dangers of kicking ones friends in the knackers and condoms). We also had books in the library, teachers to talk to and, of course, the girl who knew it all (in this instance, me ).

Yes OP, sorry I didn't answer your question.

Yes to linking it all up. But I suppose a 9 year old will need facts about periods as she may start having them, but the chat about sex could be basic and less detailed at that age, than maybe at 12 or 13, when they may want to ask about sex in more detail.

She may have explained wombs but certainly NOT eggs or babies! Tbh, I don't think she even explained wombs, she just said that blood comes out of a woman's lady parts. If I remember, we had this discussion in the bath, and she didn't make eye contact with me.

When I was 8, sadly I don't think my Mum had much reason for lying in bed apart from sleeping, so in that respect - it's good that, er, your mum was able to enjoy a 'fuller' life, as it were!

Your right in what you say that it is possible to learn from other sources - I learnt firstly from a friend's older sibling.

Ha i just knew that you got a period once of month.Was pretty upset cos i didnt know why so it felt like a pointless inconvenience!i didnt get any talk about anything from my parents but i think we arent really close enough to have that chat.i learnt at school so thank god they teach you there.

Bowlersarm - - ah yes, thanks for the advice!

LimitedEditionLady - yes - sounds like you had exactly the same experience as me. - I didn't link periods up to the big picture. I think I was 12 when I learned the 'big picture'.

I do think it is a bit negligent yes. Obviously not on the same level as, say, forgetting to feed your children - but I do think you should arm them with the basic facts of life. Yes kids could pick it up elsewhere but that might not be particularly accurate if they're getting their info from the playground!

MrsGarlic - I do agree with you actually, not linking it up with the facts of life - I feel at some level is a bit of a 'cop out'. For instance, a girl told me the 'facts' aged 7 - and I didn't really believe her, as I didn't have much respect for this girl. Sounds mean, but all 7 year olds have their opinions about individual children. Anyway, later on I found out that she had been in fact, correct!!!

I do wonder why my mother didnt explain why it was happening.At least just the lady bit?I think id quite easily tell my child although my son wont have periods ....