To ask dp to stop drinking now I'm 35 weeks pregnant?

[Lj8893]

Basically that!

Well, not stop drinking but a 2 drink limit maybe.
He doesn't drive so its not for that reason but I really don't fancy a drunk birthing partner!!

He doesn't drink at home, but does go out maybe once or twice a week, sometimes just for a couple, sometimes for a skinful! Which is fine, but it would just be typical that when he's had a skinful will be when I go into labour. And like most people I suppose, once he's drunk he's not the best person for checking his phone!

So, 35 weeks about right or would you say later? Or would you say not at all?

I have briefly said it and got a yeah yeah course but I would feel better having a set date and drink limit iyswim. But at the same time if I'm being completely unreasonable I don't want to push it!

Well how would he feel about missing the birth, actually because he hasn't heard his phone, or effectively because he's pissed? How would he feel about letting you down as your birth partner?

Surely that's a decision he can make and the incident when he didn't hear the phone should have alerted him to that too?

What you're suggesting is quite normal, most DPs would be driving anyway.

Yanbu
Do you enjoy drinking? I don't think it's very fair or supportive to leave you sober while he carries on as before.

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask him not to get shitfaced for a few weeks.

It's not like you're demanding he stay completely sober.

Well dp has just woken up and one of the first things he has said (so he must have been thinking about it last night too) was "i don't think I'm going to drink at pool tonight, seems a bit risky now."

So seems I had nothing to worry about, he's made his own decision! No "controlling fish wifey" behaviour needed from me!!

Yay for the decent and reasonable!

oh and firrst labours are not necessarily long.

Nothing controlling about that seems a reasonable concern to me!

Perfectly fine to request a non-drunk birth partner and since no one knows when the baby is going to come it makes sense to not get drunk for a few weeks.

Perfectly sensible for him to want to be in contact and not too pissed for the last few weeks. Good that he came up with it on his own, that's a good omen for the future. Enjoy the baby!

Oh great news OP! Glad you don't have to have the conversation.

Was going to say I don't think its unreasonable at all though, depending on how your partner handles drink, a drunk or hungover birthing partner could be worse than useless! You want someone there who can coach & look after you, not someone who needs a good lie down in a quiet room.

And if he is out one of of his many (it seems) nights out with friends drinking, when you do go into labour, fret not. Labour might be long, and he will have plenty of time to sober up while you labour away. He will get there when he gets there.

How do you spend your time when he is out with friends?

Many nights out? I said he goes out one or two nights a week? Sometimes with me, sometimes with friends, sometimes with family. And doesn't always drink heavily.

If I choose not to go out with him, I either watch a DVD, read a book, have an early night, all sorts of things!

Well, you may not think once or twice is a lot now, but if he keeps this up, and you are left with a newborn, while his life does not change, then you might find it too much. Good luck.

Thanks. I did actually post earlier saying that he is already well aware that nights out will be an occasional thing when he's a dad.
I did also post about an hour ago saying he has made his own decision this morning about not drinking now.

I appreciate what your saying absolutely, but it would help for you to read the whole thread

TBF, my first labour was 3 hours 5 mins....

I have read the whole thread. But I am also old and cynical, and every week there are new threads posted by mums who are in tears because their partners are out drinking and coming home pissing on the carpets/in babys cot, etc.

Please ensure you are not one of them. Nip any sign of him nipping down the pub after work because he is so tired, and baby is keeping him awake, etc, in the bud.

Thanks quintessential I know exactly what you mean! My xp was one of them.....without the baby so I dread to think what he is like with his current partner and their baby!

I have no worries about dp being like that at all, and I think I will be quite capable of nipping it in the bud if it does happen (along with his mums help who is his boss and the landlady of the pub where he would be likely to drink after work in!)

Sounds good. Good luck!

^Crumbs....this never crossed my mind when I had my offspring.
In my experience labour takes so long he'd have plenty of time to sober up^

^^this. I think you're over thinking things a bit. Chances are you will know the baby's on its way long before you're at the hospital. As long he's not going out getting absolutely hammered all the time then I wouldn't worry about it.

Thanks, he has already decided himself to not risk drinking much now anyway.

I am aware that most likely labour will be plenty long enough to sober him up etc but we would rather not take that chance! I've heard far too many stories about labour happening very suddenly and quickly to take the risk to be honest. Same with early babies! Both me and my brother were early and fast babies!

For instance, one previous poster said her labour was 3 hours, by the time I've got h

Thanks, he has already decided himself to not risk drinking much now anyway.

I am aware that most likely labour will be plenty long enough to sober him up etc but we would rather not take that chance! I've heard far too many stories about labour happening very suddenly and quickly to take the risk to be honest. Same with early babies! Both me and my brother were early and fast babies!

For instance, one previous poster said her labour was 3 hours, by the time I've got hold of him that could be an hour, and I'd rather not then spend the remaining 2 hours of my labour with a drunken or even tipsy idiot

YANBU at all. Why should you have to worry about needing to "sober him up" or whether you can get hold of him?- You're the one giving birth and he should be bloody grateful it isn't him doing all he can to make it as easy as possible for you. I'd be seriously worried about someone who couldn't stay off the piss for a few short weeks until their child was born.

(I realise this rant is academic as he has the basic decency to figure it out for himself)

Is drinking really that important to some people? So important that its a big deal that a bloke might have to go 7 weeks only having two pints at a time? Its only alcohol. A pregnant woman has to make lots of 'sacrifices' during pregnancy and motherhood, but asking a man to reign in his alcohol intake for less than 2 months is a unreasonable? I find that baffling personally.
Glad your dh is being sensible op and you didn't need to point it out to him. Good on him.

Didn't think it was that big an issue!

Good on your partner for suggesting it himself.

My OH stopped drinking and smoking during my pregnancy (apart from his birthday) worked for us.

Ooh and my due date disco! We decided if everyone got drunk (oh, my best friends etc) it would be a really inappropriate time for me to go into labour so I would. Didnt work tho :(

Haha szeli that's fab!!! Shame it didn't work though!

The week before my due date, there is filming for a major film outside my house for 3 days and so the road is closed, and a yearly street fair which is huge.

It will be just typical for me to go into labour on one of those days and create all sorts of drama!