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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never want to holiday with this person again

15 replies

MrsSparkles · 23/09/2013 22:27

V v petty, but we've just been on holiday with 10 friends, we are the only ones with little kids (a couple of the others have older children who didn't come).

Most were great, but one friend in particular spent the whole time telling me how bad my parenting style was and how he would never do what I did etc etc (note: I was just as bad before I had kids - so this isn't the crux of the issue). Including telling me - when I was saying before I had kids I thought they were more compliant - that you get the sort of children you deserve!

He spent all week telling us, they'd fit in with us, do whatever worked for us. We said go ahead and make your own plans and we'll try to fit in depending on naps, tantrums all the usual, and was told no no, we really want you to come we'll work around you. So when they decided to go out for dinner, he booked a really posh restaurant at 8.30 at night - wtf - even if DD does nap she's still in bed by 9.

That afternoon DD didn't want to nap so I apologised and said sorry we won't be able to come, she'll be crashed out by 6. At which point he got into a huge strop and said to DH well are you still coming at least. He said I don't think it would be v fair to leave her all alone on the last night of our holiday do you. They then didn't come back until 1am, by which time we were in bed, and we had to leave fairly early the next morning so only had time for a quick goodbye.

It just left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth if you know what I mean. Hopefully by the next holiday they'll be more kids around, so I can offer them some sage parenting advice. Rant over!

OP posts:
badbelinda · 23/09/2013 22:51

Doubt I'd be thinking about the next holiday with them if I were you!

Helpyourself · 23/09/2013 22:54

Poor you. I remember a very similar holiday 15 years ago. It scarred me for a very long time. However for the last 6 years we've holidayed with 6 other families very happily. The secret is going with similar people with children of similar ages.

mynameismskane · 23/09/2013 22:54

I think going on holiday with people who don't have kids is very difficult as they simply can't understand how it is.

mynameismskane · 23/09/2013 22:55

Please please post back when HE has kids and his words come and bite him on the bum!

Mollywashup · 23/09/2013 22:56

You want to go again with them! we had a nightmare holiday this year we were only ones with kids older than yours, but still wasn't much fun when other couples decide to go out all day drinking then too drunk/tired to have a evening out not good.

Turniptwirl · 23/09/2013 23:12

This is pretty inevitable when people are at different stages in life tbh. I wouldn't go with the same people until they have toddlers and you have lovely chatty older kids who can show off their manners while the toddlers run riot ;)

valiumredhead · 23/09/2013 23:46

Going on holiday with ten friends sounds like a recipe for disaster!

Lilacroses · 23/09/2013 23:58

Even my really close friends admit they had no idea what having kids entailed till they had them. I don't blame you for feeling upset though, I am extremely reluctant to holiday with anyone besides my close family.

MrsKoala · 24/09/2013 00:28

We had something similar when we took (note we paid) my M&D away with us for a week. We were emigrating in a couple of months so thought they'd enjoy seeing us and 7mo DS. WRONG! They saw no reason to change their usual holiday style and sulked and stropped and refused to eat before 9-10pm every night. Wanted to sit in bars for hours before hand and refused to walk anywhere. It's more fool me really as they were exactly the same when i was a baby; wouldn't let me eat before them and then making me sit round hungry and tired while they drank. I do love em, but by god they live like teenagers!

They also refuse to eat lunch - which for us is best when abroad, i nice long lunch on the beach, taking turns with entertaining a not tired or fractious baby in the sand etc, then just a light meal in the evening and a drink on the balcony while DS sleeps. But noooo some people don't eat lunch, and like to eat dinner late but wont let you go out without them because you are on holiday together but also have to be out till 1am! RAGE.

TheFuzz · 24/09/2013 14:23

Unfortunately, kids routines come first when they are young. Even our families forgot - arrange a meal at 8.30pm - might be fine for them with no kids, but won't work for us. Not so bad once the kids grow up, and you can't get them to bed, but not when they are smaller.

This friend is just hasn't a clue. Unfortunately, this will happen in a big group, with only yourselves with young kids.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/09/2013 14:27

MrsKoala they don't eat lunch and eat dinner at 9-10pm. I would have gnawed my arm off.

Bowlersarm · 24/09/2013 14:29

Same as everybody else. People without other children don't understand how difficult it can be.

Even if you go on holiday with friends who have children the same age, it can go pear shaped if you have different parenting styles.

And even if you have been on holiday with friends with children the same age and it all goes incredibly well, so much so that you book another holiday together in great excitement - things can still go wrong in the second holiday and you end up falling out

SofaKing · 24/09/2013 14:32

Mrs Koala my in laws are the same, I was really cross that they got to dictate meal times when we were on holiday which meant no lunch and huge boozy dinner which the kids were too tired to sit through.
I have told dh never again, it's bad enough having to consider three children's wants and needs on holiday without worrying about scheduling my day round a fussy adult!

tumbletumble · 24/09/2013 14:41

I can totally understand why you found it annoying, but if they are good friends then it's a shame if having kids at different times comes between you. Will they all be going on holiday together again? If so it would be a shame for you to miss out. Maybe suggest a weekend rather than a whole week?

lainiekazan · 24/09/2013 14:47

Agree with Bowlersarm - it can be so much worse if you do have dcs the same age. Bil and sil fell out permanently with lifelong friends on a weekend break to Slyme Regis. Something to do with that most contentious of issues.. bedtime routines...

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