Dear Mumsnet members, My in-laws are trying to manipulate us again this festive season and I am at my wits end!
Last Christmas, we went to them and stayed for a week and over the last 15 years or so, we have only had one New Year to ourselves. On all other occasions, they have either expected us to travel to them for Xmas (usually though, they spend Xmas with my sister-in-law) and then for New Year, they usually expect to come to us and on a couple of other occasions, trying to order us to travel to them for NY!
I might have been able to steel myself this year but they are actually coming to stay with us THIS WEEK for four days and I honestly don't think I can go through all this and then repeat the performance again in 12 weeks! If they were helpful, I wouldn't mind but I am treated like a skivvie!
They refuse to offer to childcare our two children, even for just two hours, to let me and my DH go out for a meal - in fact they have never offered; they don't tidy up after themselves; help in the kitchen or do anything to assist. Plates are left piled up and not even put in the dishwasher. They just sit there, reading!
I know she is my DH Mother but after they go, I am always physically and mentally exhausted. They are both insomniacs and last time they stayed, they kept waking up my youngest, as they wandered around the house late at night, sitting up chatting at 3am in the morning and going to the toilet! The first night they arrived the previous visit, my MIL was slamming drawers in their room, putting her clothes away - at midnight - and that woke my youngest again!
I've tried to speak to my Husband about it but he just glosses over it and tries to make excuses. Other times, he says he'll have a word but it doesn't seem to have any effect.
I've said to him that we will be doing other things this New Year and that they won't be able to come, as they seem to be leading up to inviting themselves again. I just know as soon as they arrive later on this week, they will start dropping hints - am I being mean?
Two of my closest friends have said I am doing the right thing and that they have thought for a while that I'm being used like a Hotel. I just need to be polite to them and say "Sorry no, not this year."
Thoughts appreciated. Thank you all.