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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be Happy I do not have to worry about Christmas...Because I married jewish?

90 replies

Chickensoupyum · 23/09/2013 13:23

That's all really

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 23/09/2013 14:45

I got away from it candycoated by moving to Belfast.

twistyfeet · 23/09/2013 14:54

lol at the Seder table drama. It's already on my mind

DidoTheDodo · 23/09/2013 14:56

I'm a Christian and am jolly glad I DO have Christmas to "worry" about!
Even though I actually don't like the part/presents/family/food part of it. The spiritual significance and renewal is good enough for me.

ashleysilver · 23/09/2013 15:13

YANBU I'm Jewish and I feel the same. I can bypass all of that stuff, I feel no obligation. We don't do anything at home on the day, just watch tv and eat mince pies.

SamG76 · 23/09/2013 15:16

We try to go the whole festive period without mentioning anything Xmas related. There's a family forfeit system in place for anyone who does!

HarderToKidnap · 23/09/2013 15:19

Christmas-loving Jew here. It's my favourite festival as I don't have to go to shul for it.

AllTwerkNoPlay · 23/09/2013 15:23

I'm Jewish and we celebrate 'Christmas' (or rather, it's more her cultural heritage and it's fun) too. It's extra low key, but we still have a tree, some presents and a nice meal.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 23/09/2013 15:34

My maternal grandparents fuck off to their holiday home in Israel for the main festivals to avoid the drama. See, older does mean wiser!

SorrelForbes · 23/09/2013 15:34

I'm Jewish, Dh isn't. We sort of do both but really any celebration is just a cultural thing. I'll probably go to Shul and DH will stay home with the DSC and eat!

FlapJackFlossie · 23/09/2013 15:42

Any more smug posts, OP ???

SecretWitch · 23/09/2013 15:49

Convert here. My oldest children are Catholic, my husband, and my youngest dd are Jewish. We celebrate everything. We tend to be very low key though so spin the dreidel, decorate the tree, eat latkes all at the same time..

Mimishimi · 23/09/2013 22:44

Don't you still have your own side of the family to buy presents for and will be expected to attend their events? Hope you have fun throwing out/cleaning out every bit of grain from your house before Passover each year. Every religion has tiresome aspects to some of it's festivals....it's sad that you don't just see it as a time to hang out with your family.

squoosh · 23/09/2013 22:51

I missed the memo saying Christmas had to be stressful and a pain in the ass. It's only as stressful as you want it to be.

I'd like to be in a multi cultural family, more stuff to celebrate!

sonlypuppyfat · 23/09/2013 22:52

All that cleaning must be very stressful.

SconeRhymesWithGone · 23/09/2013 23:03

I have enjoyed Christmas more as DH and I have significantly scaled back the festivities over the years.

My favorite holiday is US Thanksgiving; no presents, just food, friends, and family.

TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy · 23/09/2013 23:22

I understand OP, it can be very unloading to know you don't have another issue on your plate and quite happy to avoid another conflict. Personally, I gave all of Christmas up when I left home, the peace and release of it was and still remains to be great, quite happy without it and in our own celebrations.

foreverondiet · 23/09/2013 23:34

But same discussions on whose house you having Passover Seder with or rosh hashana? Yes Chanukah isn't that significant. My friends who aren't Jewish are amazed as I seem to have a "Christmas" scale festival every few months.... So yabu!!

pippop1 · 24/09/2013 00:08

Oy vei! I'm glad I don't Christmas too. We have a family meal as no one is working that day though. We also eat Christmas pudding (veggie one) as it's so yummy and such an easy dessert (if you buy it).

DS2's friend asked him round for christmas as she felt sorry for him. He enjoyed it I think.

FairPhyllis · 24/09/2013 00:35

Is going to a Chinese restaurant or getting Chinese takeaway at Christmas a thing for Jews in Britain? I ask because all my US Jewish friends have always told me that this is basically the Christmas tradition for Jews in the US now.

The family aspects of Christmas have strangely become less important to me since I became a Christian - I feel like it is mainly atheists, agnostics and the vaguely spiritual who get really het up about it being a family event. I suppose if the family gathering is the main event of the day for you there is more pressure to have the Perfect Family Day. I don't really care about that side of it now as long as I can find somewhere I can go to mass.

OP I can't imagine that getting ready for Passover is any less stressful than getting ready for Christmas - and at least the shops won't be blaring seasonal music at you while you're doing it.

AdoraBell · 24/09/2013 00:44

I don't have to worry about Christmas because I'm not much of a people pleaser

Catkinsthecatinthehat · 24/09/2013 00:47

A colleague is Catholic and married to an American Jew. They do Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas (twice - it's his second marriage so he does Christmas dinner with his wife and then the kids come round and they do it again on Boxing Day) and New Year. In January he does Weightwatchers....

Morloth · 24/09/2013 00:52

I am a non-discriminatory celebrator.

As a member of a multi-cultural family there is always a reason to have a party/festival.

Is most excellent.

kingbeat23 · 24/09/2013 00:54

I'm Jewish. We do Christmas. The only things we don't do is go to church. We had all the squabbles about whose house to go to (split families - 4 sets of grandparents for my siblings) and more.

As PPs have said you have more festivals to cope with too. 8 days of Chanukah, Purim, Pesach and all the other ones.

I like Christmas.

raisah · 24/09/2013 01:07

My family are muslim & we don't officially celebrate xmas but it is the only day we are off together so we usually visit or host. It is nice to have a none christmassy christmas without the faff. I do make a big deal out of Eid so my dc know that is our main celebrations but at 2 &4 they just want presents & they think santa is my dad! Also I have a few none muslim sils now so I do buy them gifts etc.

ErrorError · 24/09/2013 01:42

I'm a nothing and I do see Christmas as a cultural celebration too, rather than as a religious one. I like the idea of the perfect Christmas family reunion you see on TV. Everyone doing charades round an open fire, stuffing faces til we're belly up and watching schmaltzy feel-good films all day.

However, the reality in the Error household is a bit more grim. I dislike the enforced merriment, the "gather round and lets take it in turns to open presents in a circle so everyone can see your reaction." The stressy build up to the day, and panic about being too broke to get presents because I stupidly bought my car in a November so that's when my insurance goes out. DSis has also been consistently hungover every Christmas Day for the last 10 years, and we can't start the proceedings without her so there's a lot of just sitting around. Plus I have always hated turkey, and the silly hats that flop down in front of your eyes, but you have to keep them on all through dinner or you'll be labelled the unco-operative miserable git who ruined Christmas!

I would love a Christmas where I could just do exactly what I wanted. Slob around in PJs all day, have my choice of telly, not have to pretend to look happy if I don't particularly feel it. I used to wish I was the kid in Home Alone.

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