AIBU to wish people would graciously take "no" for a complete answer?

[flyingwidow]

As in, following an invite, when you RSVP to say you can't come...

You then get a follow up email/text saying "are you sure?", "couldn't you get X,Y,Z to babysit for you?", "what a shame"...

If people come back and say no to me, I suck it up. Albeit I may be disappointed, but that's life. I rarely bail on on people, and love a good party- BUT sometimes I just can't make it! AIBU to be fed up of the guilt trips... "they'll be no-one coming at this rate". Yawn.

It really gets my goat.

YANBU. It's the reason I now say Oh what a shame I can't make it. I hope you all have a great time. It tends to stop the comeback with suggestions for how I could make it.

I have a friend who had a party the day after Boxing Day (and the day before I went on a ski holiday). Yes, I could physically have fitted it in but it wasn't realistic. She went on and on and on. In the end I wished I'd told her I was going on holiday that day to end the conversation.

Crucru- from now onwards those are going to be my words... Without the reason why! Social etiquette is all so confusing!! Catholic upbringing has lead to years of guilt I'm afraid!!

Yeah, you know people are actually nicer to you when you don't give a reason for some reason. Maybe they associate long excuses with guilt. I'm sure someone will explain the psychology to us soon (MN is sort of like that).

This thread has me panicked I may have been unintentionally rude. If You suggest meeting up, someone says "so sorry, I'm away that weekend, unless you're still around on the monday" - is it then reasonable to alter things a little bit so I can see that particular friend on the monday?

No, I think that is okay. Altering plans so a mate can make it is reasonable and considerate.

Suggesting ways that your mate can change things so they can make it (and not letting go) is not okay.

Omg,i hate it when people tell me to get a babysitter and helpfully suggest who to ask.Erm yeah ive been his mum a while now but you know what guys I completely forgot that the concept of a babysitter existed.whats that sorry?his grandma could look after him?oh shit!yeah forgot about her,how silly!in fact why dont you sort my childcare out for me because obviously I need help with this.