Aibu to feel very upset about Ds starting nursery? Perhaps I'm being too clingy?

[Thesimplethings]

Backstory: tried for 8 years to have children, 2 failed Ivf attempts before falling naturally with dc1. For pregnant and had dc2 when dc1 was only 16 months.

It's all passed in a blink of an eye and tbh I don't remember many of dc milestones as dc2 suffered terribly with reflux.

I don't know whether its broodiness or the thought of 'losing' my baby, but I feel so low and lost.

Can anyone make sense if my feelings or is this normal?

If - of!

Why is your dc starting nursery? Is it because you're working or because he/she is 3? If the latter, you could start off with one session and build up to get used to it. It's not surprising that you're finding it hard to let go, even in such a small way, but it's part of parenting. Roots and wings

Because he's three, I'm a sahm.

I know I've still got dc2 at home, but I can't imagine toddlers etc with just one child.

I know logically babies grow up and things change.

I sound silly

No you don't sound silly . .Its natural but you wait , your child will probably come out smiling and would have had a great first day . .

You are not silly and I'm probably not the best person to talk to because only one of our dc did pre school because I didn't want them to go.
So at least you are taking yours.
I'm sure he will have a lovely time and make some good friends there.

I hope so. He will love it. He's attended playgroup three mornings a week do its not as if its his first time away from me. It's the thought of uniform.

Doesn't help that dc2 is starting playgroup in two weeks... What the hell am I going to do with myself?

I'm losing both my babies within a fortnight. That's probably why I'm feeling so low.

I know I don't have to send them, but its good for them and they will have a great time.

Ah it's ok...I was like this too with DD1. You will fill the time shopping eating cake weeping and beating your breast.

Think how special the days you have with them will be.

My dd started nursery recently, I was sad to realise she's growing up, but actually, she loves it. Plus, I can do all the boring stuff, errands etc while she's at nursery.

Please take this with the kindness it is intended with.
I think it sounds as though you could maybe be doing with other interests in your life, other than your children.
I say this because when my middle child started nursery, and my youngest playgroup, meaning I had a whole two and a half hours to myself without any kids to see to, I practically flew down the road to home on the wings of liberty!
I couldn't decide what to do first! Read a book? Play loud music and sing into a hairbrush? Phone a friend for a blether? Finish that painting I started? Sand down that table I rescued from that skip next to the chippy? Sit still and stare into space just because I can?

See it as a well deserved break!

thesimplethings I totally get it. For me what got me every time was that I could no longer just have a "cosy toes" morning snuggled in bed if we wanted, or no longer go to a toddler group, or no longer just decide to go feed the ducks etc... That that stage had passed.

With dd1 I found it very very hard when she went to nursery. Even with dd2 (who like yours went to playschool a few days also, I was working then).

If it helps she loved nursery so much, it really brought her out of herself, made her so independent and I loved the walk home from school hearing all about her day. They love to tell you so much "mummy the teacher flashes the lights on and off and then I sing my tidy up song, do you want to hear it"... All of that makes your heart burst at the little person they are becoming.

Dd2 just went to nursery and again I was dreading it but it was a b little bit easier.

I'm not totally cured... I've told ds (1) that he's never allow to leave his mummy though, and he said " da" which I took to be a contractually binding declaration meaning he will never go to school and leave his mummy .

But that was you Pictish some people react very emotionally to this happening...it's fine. She'll get over it.

Well how else am I supposed to reply other than through my own experience?
I don't think it's all that healthy to get maudlin over the normal milestones of independence, and certainly not good for the kids, so it helps to put a positive spin on it surely?

Pictish But you stated the obvious re her needing some more interests....however, when you are in the OPs position you don't WANT other interests.

However "unhealthy" you deem this to be, it is an ordinary part of moving on to the next phase of parenting for some people. It's not water off a ducks back for everyone you know. It's not maudlin either...it;s a perfectly valid way to feel.

I think I'll feel just as anxious too DD is 27 months and as yet hasn't had any playgroup/nursery time away from me. She has toddler group but the kind you stay at rather than leave them at.

I'm sure she'll be fine but I can understand anyone being apprehensive to begin with!

I think pictish was doing her best to make the OP feel better to be fair! If it helps the first day I dropped DS at the childminder (age 10 months) I sobbed uncontrollably for 4 hours. Now if I'm lucky enough to have a half day or something at work and get, say, 3 hours to myself I'm like a pig in poop, ha! It does get much easier, and you're not being daft.