to be annoyed at DH smoking habit

[jojoanna]

We both work and the money goes in a shared account, his smoking irritates me so much because when the bank account is low he will sill smoke (addict) but i will cut back on everything.

It really annoys me

Apart from that he’s lovely

did he smoke when you met him?

if so, then you got what it said on the tin.

This ^^

oh right thanks

I would find that annoying.

My MIL's husband was a smoker, he had an allowance (I think £50 a month) for it and she got the same for whatever she liked.

Could something like that work?

Urgh - smelly and selfish. You married someone with the filthy habit - you made your choice.

It probably evens out in other ways? Your haircuts may cost more than his. I suspect that for you, the bigger issue is the fact that he smokes, not how it's funded

ridiculous comment onesleep

If you married someone addicted to smoking that's just it - they are addicted!

If he wants help to stop that's good but it isn't surprising that someone addicted to tobacco continues to buy it.

Well if money is getting low and there's a bill to be paid or food to be bought then smoking shouldn't be a priority, but as a smoker myself myself I know how much of an addiction it is.

Could he maybe roll his own when money is getting low? It's a lot cheaper and you never know he might prefer roll ups to normal ones

I've smoked roll ups for 30 years and really couldn't smoke a normal cigarette now.

It's an addiction. It's not a real choice as far as he sees it. If you're a non-smoker or a successful ex-smoker, it's difficult to understand.

I always feel the same when we have threads about "the poor" not having enough to eat but always being able to afford to smoke. It's an addiction. It's not like choosing to buy a new dress instead of putting food in the cupboard. To an addict, the tobacco is as essential as bread and milk. No they won't die as a result of not having tobacco, but the fear of feeling as wretched as they think they will is every bit as real as the fear of feeling hungry. It's why so many addicts (not just of tobacco) practically give up eating when they live alone and money is very tight.

Sometimes, you can goad someone into quitting by discussing it in these terms. Lots of otherwise-fully-functioning adults who smoke object to being called addicts, but if they can't quit there and then, truth is that this is exactly what they are. Some can't accept that and it galvanises them into action. Others simply feel worse, accept it and give up giving up. It's a risk. You have to decide if you can live with it.

If dh drinks, would he be willing to do either/or?.