To wish mil would stop telling ds (4) that boys don't cry?

[Stillhopingstillhere]

It's really getting on my nerves!

Ds fell over today and hurt himself, he did cry partly from the shock and partly because he was tired so a bit overwrought anyway (still tired from starting school!) and she kept saying "you're a big boy now, once boys start school they don't cry, only little girls cry."

It explains why her family are all emotionally constipated. Fuck off mil. I did intervene and correct her but I bet she says similar when I'm not there. He's 4. Of course he can cry if he's hurt or sad or scared.

Make him laugh some other way! Easy

You're telling your son that crying is weak, and pathetic, and girly therefore associating weakness with being female. Can't you see that?

I know you don't mean any harm by it, SugarHut; I don't want to make you feel bad! But in my view a child will hear "girly wirly" used in this way, and slowly absorb the message that girls are weak and soft.

something I say so flippantly and really have never paid any attention too people could potentially think a child would get some kind of unintended subliminal message from?

Of course children get subliminal messages from things like that! That's how gender roles become entrenched, boys grow up believing that they can't show emotions/ weakness, showing emotions is 'girly' and being 'girly' is weak and inferior. You're teaching some pretty lifelong beliefs about gender roles to your son there.

I don't feel bad :) I tell him not to be a girly wirly, not a little bastard I just feel stunned that I genuinely think there's nothing wrong with it when everyone else does.

You can't all be wrong, I need to not say it then. Jamie is right, I'll think of some other silly rhyming name to make him laugh, will hopefully have the exact same effect.

SugarHut! Silly sausage is an old classic. We don't need to worry about stereotyping sausages.

My mum used to say 'stop squawking and flapping like a soft silly wet hen' when we made a drama out of something like a dropped ice cream, made us laugh like mad.

I used to "tell off" whatever hurt my DSs in an over-the-top way "Silly pavement, keep your hands to yourself", "naughty table"" etc. Worked for them

It's not fair to lump all sausages together.

For example, this here isn't just any sausage- it's an M&S sausage!

Good point, Jessie. I personally know many thoughtful Bockwursts.

Sorry, OP! I'm sure normal service will resume shortly.