To ask if you find your parents/PILs company boring?

[LordElpuss]

This isn't a PIL bashing or anyone else bashing thread but a genuine question.

PIL live a couple of hours away and we don't see them very often. They are here today and, lovely though it is to see them, I am so bored with their company. We've been out with DD, had lunch and are now having a cuppa before walking the dog but ... they won't be leaving until 8.30pm on the dot (no chance of them going earlier). And I find it hard to make conversation with them and I suspect I'm not the most exciting company either

My own parents are long dead so have nothing to compare it with but I do worry that DD and her future DH will one day find us a bore! Do you feel the same and, if not, what makes them interesting?

No, not really. Always find something to talk about.

Of course with my parents this is more likely to end in a row because we are less polite to each other!

It was a bit awkward with PIL to start. Sometimes I felt a bit left out when we were visiting because it can be a bit quiet/everyone busy with their own thing and I didn't know them well enough to say 'oi, can we do something together please?' But now I do.

I don't think any of them are boring.

My parents are boring. My mother is physically frail and an alcoholic, but tends to 'just' be on Librium in our company at least that's what I try to tell myself so is frequently belligerent and repetitive. She doesn't get out much and is incapable of telling a story without being rude about someone, mentioning everyone's country of origin, or trying to make herself the hero. DF is slightly better in that he does have a social life, but he tends to use visits as a opportunity not to have to entertain my mother.

MIL is the sort of person who tells the same story (generally about someone I never knew that died recently) about 5 times every visit. Also if I try telling her about some achievement of the DC, she will start talking about her other DGC rather than actually listen. Which I find infuriating. However I do worry about her and would happily have her in a retirement flat in our city rather than where she is.

I enjoy my dad's company. He is very active and busy and tells us what he's been up to and asks how we are. We go out and do things together.

I find visiting my pil incredibly dull. They don't do much. We can rarely persuade them to come out with us so we basically sit around the tv while they take it in turns to hold ds. I also have little in common with them and hold very different views about a number of things

No, I don't find them boring. I see them as a couple who have made good choices for their children and who have often sacrificed holidays or things they could have had, to provide for their kids. That doesn't make them boring to me, it makes them my heros.

I don't find my own parents at all, but then I know most of the people they're talking about, and am interested in them. My father also loves a good chat about the philosophy of religion/ nature v. nurture etc.

My PIL on the other hand . . . . We should have things in common - certainly FIL and I have things in common, but he doesn't really say much, MIL drives me up the wall by chatting about her crafts ("And I just don't know what colour to put with x, y or z" "What about blue?" "Well, I thought of blue, but then blah blah blah and then blah blah blah." - She's not actually asking my opinion, she's just talking to herself, but to me, if that makes sense) meals on wheels, arguments within the parish committee, and what the rest of the family are up to. And, while she's doing this, she'll continually have little digs at me. "It's such a shame you don't work any more." "I do, but I'm freelance." "Yes but that's not really proper, is it?"/ "I always hoped my son would marry a nice Scottish girl, and live locally." "Yes, but he didn't." etc. etc. etc., while also trying to find out how much I've been seeing my parents, and then comparing it with how much we've seen them and deciding it's unfair. "Yes, but my parents COME TO SEE US, TOO."

Sorry, that' turned into a rant. And yes, I expect that my MIL finds me very dull. She certainly doesn't like me, that's for sure.

To be honest, I think my mother finds her children boring! Lol. When my father died, she did the thing of coming to each of her 5 children at New Year. Of course, most of us had small kids and were like 'is it midnight? Can we go to bed yet?'. She found it all too pedestrian. These days, she chooses to stay at home for New Year. But only so she can go out disco dancing with her friends till 2am! We took her on holiday this year. She was totally up for all the aqua slides and zorbing. She's 79.

My mum thinks she's boring hence the reason I have to accompany her to various social occasions because she thinks I'm wonderfully witty & chatty & she can kind of 'hide' behind me.(my dad died many years ago)

My PIL are fine, MIL seems to think she's 30 years younger than she actually is - don't need to see that much cleavage - & FIL is increasingly sexist but apart from that not boring & we see quite a lot of them.

No, enjoy the company of both sets and look forward to it.

I get on well with my parents.

I find PIL harder but a lot of that is down to DP and FIL having a very difficult relationship so often I find myself in the position of smoothing over disagreements or trying to change the subject! PIL also don't really like to do anything so whether we go there or they come here there's hours to fill of nothing.

I had to think about this one, having just spent a painful afternoon in the company of my dad, stepmum, gran and stepgrandad. Initial response of 'god yes' has been downgraded to something more complicated. My dad has his boring moments, as everyone does; listening to him monologue about the death of society and how no one gives a fuck about active engagement with politics anymore (this from a man who has never actively protested anything during my lifespan as far as I can tell) is certainly extremely tedious, but he's chilled out quite a lot lately and become more the interesting, funny, well travelled, well read person I remember from my childhood. Stepmum has got much less boring since she retired and stopped being bitter about life.

My nan, well, I can't be too kind there so probably best I don't say anything Love her but she is such a martyr these days, and a bit of a ghoul too.

I've no doubt they all intermittently find me very boring as well, due to my refusal to discuss again and again the many failings of Thatcher (dad) and my lack of interest in Hotter shoes (nan).

PIL are not boring at all, love them! Conversation always flows and they always seem genuinely interested in us, unlike my folks. Maybe that's because we are interested in them?

DH is a doer not a talker, but me and my parents are big drinkers/socialisers/talkers so altho DH likes their company when out in a restaurant/pub he finds being cooped up anywhere boring and is always popping out for walks. He finds being in with DS boring too, he always takes him out to parks etc - he can't just 'be'. But that's him.

PILs are boring, which i think is why DH is bored with sitting around at anytime now. Pils are mean, so a visit to their house will be sitting round in the dark (don't put lights on as uses leccy) and cold (no heating) with blankets around us, listening to the same 4 anecdotes and ridiculous opinions based on no knowledge. They rarely leave their house and when they did work they worked together in a business with no one else for 40 years. So they have never had any friends, ever. No other family either. So with no outside influence, they don't watch news, tv or read papers, they have nothing to say. They don't drink so i can't even get a bit merry to jolly it along. Before we had DS we would all just sit in the dark in silence. They've never visited us as like their own space. Dinner is something cheap and quick so that is not discussion worthy altho they do seem to talk about how much food costs for hours. The last 3 visits have been days of discussion about a bigger Aldi opening up.

My MIL speaks broken English and is eccentric so we have some very odd conversations. I would say frustrating rather than boring.

I suspect older people find us boring. I kind of imagine PILs all over the country hiding int heir rooms in the disguise of a 'lie down' to get away from the grandkids and whispering to each other about the DIL who just keeps going on about little Johnny.

Hmmm depends. if I ply mil with enough booze or not. She's not the dancing on table sort or anything (thank god!) but wow does she come out with some seriously good gossip about people we know (mainly dp's family) when she's sunk a good bottle of wine

On the whole tho the children value their grandparents time much more than I do and that's ok coz they feel the same. They're excellent grandparents so I can get passed having not much in common with them.

My relationship with my mum has soured somewhat over past few years so its slightly painful and awkward spending time with her now and I wish the time away. It's like have a smear test actually. And my dad I don't know well enough to have an opinion about.

MIL is always telling me not to talk about certain things. Given that my range of topics is limited to start off with, it does make it rather difficult for me to chat when she decides to ban topics. At dinner DD mentioned Xmas so I seized this asked them if they'd made any plans for Christmas. Now I couldn't give a flying fuck what they're doing over the festive season but MIL immediately told me not to talk about it. Yes I know it's months away but as she'd already told me not to talk about several other things, I'd thought talk of festive plans could have passed a few minutes ...

No. My father is awesome, my mother I avoid as much as possible for different reasons and my PIL live in Aus so we rarely spend time with them (keeps the novelty factor) plus they're interesting people.

In person I don't find my DPs boring. On the phone I only really have long chats to my DM, although I have managed a few with DF.

My PILs aren't boring but they are sometimes not quite fun enough. I don't like being there for New Year as everyone wants to go to bed early. My DPs always get together with a band of their friends, drink snowballs and listen to things like The Who/ Talking Heads/ Tina Turner into the early hours. I'm slightly worried I'll start to resent my DH for being prone to party pooping; he takes after PIL and likes lots of sleep. Hopefully when he retires he'll be better; he used to go clubbing for England but since DCs his energy has sapped away a bit.