To think that it can take YEARS before you know your partner properly?

[ICameOnTheJitney]

I've been with DH for 11 years...married for 2. We're 40 now and I am JUST starting to get to know him well. I can now tell when he is scared...though he doesn't show it....I see how when in times of stress or bad news he can take around 2 days for it to sink in and for him to finally react.

In the past I haven't pieced these things together or had experiences to compare them to...is this usual? HOw long have you been with your partner and how long did it take you to feel you knew him properly?

I dont think its a bad thing, but I dont see how you could spend day and night with someone constantly and not feel like you dont know everything about them.

I don't think it's possible to ever know everything about someone. You're not inside their head. Especially since people change and grow over time.

We don't even have to speak to understand each other. A gesture, a look suffices. 20 years together.

I know dh knows everything about me because I trll him absolutely everything. Some of the people I know think thats a bit strange, but I think it depends on type of personality you are.

Been with hubby 11years and have very little idea of how he sees or understands things, just know it is very different from me. Will do a post of this one day: please help me understand dh!

We've been together for just 2.5 years, baby is only 18 months!

Constantly learning behaviours, having to remind each other of what we mean when we say certain things. I love him so much, and although it can be very frustrating at times, I do love learning about him and his past!

Known dh for nearly 30 years. We can make each other laugh hysterically by doing impersonations of each other. Quite unkind ones. So I'd say we know each other very well.
I still don't know everything about him though. and I still find him really interesting. When he's not being boring or a twat.

If you're talking about men in general, they move the goal posts far too often for us to suss them out completely

If you're talking about men in general, they move the goal posts far too often for us to suss them out completely

Oops, its that true, I said it twice.

I think our basic personas remain the same, I feel I know dh extremely well, (21 years married, 23 years together) but environmental and circumstantial changes can make someone react differently, therefore people think they don't know their partners if they suddenly do something 'out of character', IYSWIM.