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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More and Am I being reasonable? Or a mug?

25 replies

FishfingersAreOK · 21/09/2013 15:26

Recently broken my foot so in non-weight bearing plaster cast, crutches etc.

DH, DC and I were booked into an outward bound weekend next weekend. Camping. Muddy fields, rope climbing, wall climbing, tunnelling, camp fires, marshmallows, den building circus skills etc etc

Pragmatically there is no way I can go (we have been before - know the set up - all quite rough and ready and not crutch friendly).

We have decided that Dh should take the DCs (5 & &yo) and have a great time. DH has had to cancel a course he was on so he can be with the children. They are going to have a fab, fab time. I am v Envy . But tbh I just do not see the need for them to miss out.

I am staying at home. My parents are coming to stay the weekend to "look after me". Don't really need looking after per se - but DH worried about me falling/hurting myself- so will enjoy time with them.

This all felt very sensible, reasonable and nice of me . Until DSis was Hmm at me and suggested that it was wrong of DH to be going without me and that I was far too much of a mug!.

She is nuts isn't she? I am not a mug am I? Not sure why I am doubting our decision. DH would have cancelled if I had asked.

WWY have done - let them go or make them stay?

OP posts:
Original poster
FishfingersAreOK · 21/09/2013 15:28

Just re-read the let them go - which sounds martyr-ish - is not letting them go - ie "allowing" it. More just saying is silly to miss out.

OP posts:
SkinnybitchWannabe · 21/09/2013 15:28

Shes an idiot. I would have done the same.

nennypops · 21/09/2013 15:29

YANBU. Definitely let them go. What on earth would be the point of either cancelling the trip for the whole family, or going along and standing on the sidelines and getting in everyone's way? The whole arrangement sounds totally sensible to me.

Imwoodword · 21/09/2013 15:29

Not a mug at all! I'd be overjoyed at the thought of a peaceful weekend personally.

The kids would have been upset to have cancelled I imagine? Not quite sure why your DSis would say that Hmm

FrigginRexManningDay · 21/09/2013 15:29

They should go. Sorry about your broken foot Flowers
Your sister is being silly.

StuntGirl · 21/09/2013 15:30

What? You made the most sensible decision possible. Why on earth should they cancel?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 21/09/2013 15:30

Eh? In what way are you being a mug? Confused Sounds like a good idea if they go.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/09/2013 15:30

All seems very sensible. YANBamug.

Tee2072 · 21/09/2013 15:31

Your sister really is not very bright, is she?

MikeLitoris · 21/09/2013 15:32

Weekend at home with no dc? I'd be forcing them to go.

purpleloosestrife · 21/09/2013 15:35

erm. so you are being a mug if you make sure that your children have a lovely time ? then I am completely a mug because it is what I would do. It is not ideal as I'm sure they would like their mum to be with them (just as much as you want to be with them)

You sound like you and your DH have discussed this sensibly and reached the best solution - why would you think otherwise ??

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 21/09/2013 15:37

YANBU better than you all staying at home not doing anything because 1 of you can't go Confused

caramelwaffle · 21/09/2013 15:38

It's an excellent idea.

Have your DH get in all your favourite foods/drinks/books/films.

QuietTiger · 21/09/2013 15:38

Your sister is a fruitloop. (In the nicest possible way)

Why on earth are you being a mug to allow them to go? If anything, they will have a wonderful time one-on-one with their dad, forge some wonderful memories and have lots to tell you on Sunday night. You in the meantime, will have had a nice relaxing weekend DC free. :)

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 21/09/2013 15:39

You're being a good mum and your sister is odd not to see that....

Now I feel like my kids are missing out. I shall go and break a bone and see if anyone would like to take my two on a weekend break desperate plea for peace and a lie in

Original poster
FishfingersAreOK · 21/09/2013 15:43

Glad to hear this - was thinking the same as you sane MNetters. DSis is single so not necessarily thinking along the same lines as a family does. She will be there for me and defend me to the hilt (hence possibly her comment (?). But she is occasionally the queen of me-me-me and martyrdom is a speciality of hers - so maybe she was thinking of how she would feel? Oh who knows - love her to pieces so will carry on as we were and put it down to a ditzy moment of hers.

Indeed, she can be a fruitloop!

OP posts:
HooverFairy · 21/09/2013 15:46

^what Mike said^!

But in all seriousness, your sister is stupid. What's the point of everyone missing out? I know it's awful for you but at least your children will still have a good time which always makes up for it. It sounds like your sister doesn't have kids...

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 21/09/2013 15:49

send her in your place Grin tbh I would break my foot NOT to go to such a torture chamber place

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 21/09/2013 15:50

DH went camping with our two in the holidays while I stayed at home on my own.

I couldn't go because I hate camping . You will have a lovely peaceful weekend, they get to have fun, what's not to like?

SaucyJack · 21/09/2013 15:53

In what way does your sister think you've got the rough end of the deal?

She must really love camping (!)

WafflyVersatile · 21/09/2013 15:57

She's wrong. You're missing out because you hurt your foot. That is all. Unlucky for you.

TimeAgainForWellies · 21/09/2013 16:03

Your sister is being silly.

:)

Have a GREAT time being cared for and waited upon. :) eat nice stuff. Watch DVDs. Sleep in. Welcome your family back when they have missed you and want to tell you all about it.

Original poster
FishfingersAreOK · 21/09/2013 16:03

Saucy she does love camping - and proper camping at that (weeing in a bucket kind of thing). She even camped for 6 weeks volunteering in Madagascar. Which included not much more than a bucket. shudders

I on the other hand can only do camping if it is civilised. Loos, showers, vodka, pimms, cookers, caravans. Civilised. And this weekend course is a rough as I get. tbh there is a little bit of me that is very glad I do not have to do the camping bit of it. Shhhh

OP posts:
luxemburgerli · 21/09/2013 16:27

If anything your DH is the mug for having to take and supervise them both while you relax at home Grin

seriously though, sounds like a very sensible decision. if everyone's happy what does it have to do with your sister anyway?

laughingeyes2013 · 21/09/2013 16:36

I probably would have tried to hobble along in my crutches and sit out of the bits I can't do because I am a mug and hate to miss out!

I know I'd have then hated it as I'd miss the best bits and become big chief potato peeler, washer-upper and photographer, all in the pouring rain!

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