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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to refuse? Am I even allowed?

48 replies

PenguinBear · 21/09/2013 08:36

There is a doctor at my surgery who does minor surgery. I suppose it's cheaper than booking people in through the hospital etc.

He is very opinionated and doesn't like people who are in anyway overweight. apparently every condition is because you're fat. (it's well known amongst patients so unless you're stick thin you avoid him).

If my GP refers me, can I say no I dont want to see him and can they refer me to the hospital? It's his specialist area but I am in no way comfortable having him treat me.

I am not very forceful so tips on how to refuse would be greatly appreciated.

AIBU to do this? am I allowed?

OP posts:

Tavv · 21/09/2013 11:55

YANBU

neunundneunzigluftballons · 21/09/2013 12:04

Some of the posts here are mad people seem to think that doctors should not outline the give most sensible advice on feeding methods, weight messages, oral hygiene, have we had any smokers on yet.

Doctors should give patients the best medical advice and then as patients we have your own personal responsibility to choose to look after your health or not.

Not participating in health screening is foolish choice, my SIL was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer aged 35, but like other destructive behaviour it is at the end if the day down to the individual to live their own life.

Bluebell99 · 21/09/2013 12:05

Isthis, cervical smears are often done in nurse sessions, why not check if nurses at your surgery do them?

GetStuffezd · 21/09/2013 12:09

There is a doctor at my old practice I refused to see. When I was pregnant, scared shitless and totally alone I sought advice about a termination. He treated me like a piece of shit and told me to "ring his secretary in two weeks." Which, given the short time scales of these thing, was appalling advice. I wish I had complained about him.
You don't have to be treated by anyone you don't want to, OP.

ukatlast · 21/09/2013 20:58

neunundneunzigluftballons - there are tactful ways to discuss issues with patients - it should not be a judgemental approach as this is 'old school' and causes avoidance and ultimately makes the patient's situation worse. What grossly overweight person fails to realise they are overweight?
Your doctor/dentist is a partner in your care not a policeman. You seem to see them in a more authoritarian way.

ukatlast · 21/09/2013 21:05

99 'Doctors should give patients the best medical advice and then as patients we have your own personal responsibility to choose to look after your health or not.'

You are totally missing the point... it depends what words are used/what tone is used/ how often the issue is brought up by the GP....if the way it is being approached is causing the patient to avoid other necessary care for fear of negative evaluation, then the GP is doing the patient a disservice.

One defensive way round it for smokers/overweight people is to state upfront in any consultation that they are aware they should be doing x,y,z.....then GP can say is there anything I can do/explain/prescribe to help and it can be left at that.
As I said above, it is not supposed to be an authoritarian relationship. You should not be scared of what your GP thinks about you. You are both human.

HerrenaHarridan · 21/09/2013 21:25

You absolutely can refuse care at any time

My local practice has a dr (female) who I refuse to see after both me and a close friend were very aggressively told that if we needed an abortion she would not do the referral.
It wouldn't be quite so bad but neither of us was pregnant or displaying any symptoms of pregnancy friend had a bad back (with an obvious cause) and I was receiving follow up care after being raped (outside the time limit for abortion which she absolutely knew)

So she was just shoving her bullshit religion opinions down our throats for no reason

mineofuselessinformation · 21/09/2013 21:49

There is a gp at my surgery who I will not see. When one of my dcs had blood results strongly indicating a condition which could kill them within a few months (they have it and started treatment only because I called anyone and everyone who would listen), the gp remarked when I spoke to them on the phone (about the length of wait to see a specialist) said 'a few weeks won't do them any harm'
Sorry that's a bit garbled. I never complained because I had more than enough on my plate at the time, but if anyone ever pushed me I wouldn't hesitate to say.
And strangely enough, they have been called in as a second opinion on a couple of occasions when I've seen a junior gp (didn't know it would be them) and they've fallen over themselves to be helpful - they KNOW.

Beastofburden · 21/09/2013 21:50

It's not nice to be patronised or told off about your weight. But this is about having some surgery. A nice tidy clinical job and a quick recovery is what you are after here. If you look at the whole thing as a package, getting it done fast by someone good who makes a couple of nasty remarks may be better overall than a long wait and perhaps someone less good in your local hospital.

Original poster

PenguinBear · 22/09/2013 08:36

I've been doing some research loads of info on the GP website and it turns out its not his 'specialist' area. but he is able to perform it as one of his 'duties'.

After reading lots of things online about best practice in this field, referral to hospital specialist is advised.

Now I know its not his specialist area I have decided I want to be referred rather than be seen by him.

I just need a strong response. I imagine it would go something like this:
'Dr X at the surgery can deal with that'
'I'd like to be referred to the hospital instead please'
'but we have Dr X here'
'I'd rather be referred'
'why?'
'erm...'

OP posts:

Original poster

PenguinBear · 22/09/2013 08:37

What can I say?

OP posts:

mineofuselessinformation · 22/09/2013 09:08

'Because I'd rather see someone who does it every day than someone who does it occasionally.

prudyklimovitsky · 22/09/2013 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Beastofburden · 22/09/2013 12:39

penguin if he isn't even specially good at it, then I am right with you on this one. I would follow the advice given up thread about how to say it- very calm, without referring to the stories about his manner, just say that you would like a referral to hospital for this please. If they challenge it, say, as suggested, that you would prefer to have to done somewhere where they do it all the time, mine says.

Original poster

PenguinBear · 22/09/2013 12:50

Thank you, i really appreciate the advice and support. So much for DP's support. He has said I shouldn't ask to go to hospital as they might call us trouble makers and black list us which apparently is selfish of me as he and the children use the surgery. .

OP posts:

IWantAnotherBaby · 22/09/2013 13:01

It really does depend on what the procedure is. I do a lot of minor surgical procedures as a GP, because I am interested in and good at them. But many are no longer funded, and the NHS would not fund referral to the hospital for them. So I do them (when they are within my expertise) as a service to my patients so they do not always have to choose between going private or not being treated. If I do not, for any reason, feel able to perform a procedure, then I will not do it, but for some, this means the patient will not have it at all.

There are lots of things where, in an ideal world, treatment would be in a hospital, but this does not mean that the NHS will fund them.

whois · 22/09/2013 13:09

Oh OP grow up and get the procedure done at the GPs. Appointments are so pushed for time the Gp is unlikely to be able to go on about how fat you are since they will be concentrating on the minor surgery.

And if the GP does say something about your weight, use it as a positive and ask to book am appointment to discuss your weight and strategies to reduce it?

MammaTJ · 22/09/2013 13:23

I swear if my head fell off there would be at least one doctor at my surgery who would blame it one being fat!

I would just firmly state you want referral to the hospital!

Original poster

PenguinBear · 22/09/2013 14:00

What do you class as minor IWantAnotherBaby? :)

OP posts:

BeckAndCall · 22/09/2013 14:08

All very well saying you want a hospital referral mammaTJ but if the hospital doesn't do it there, and it's routinely done at the GP surgery, and there is no contract with the hospital for that procedure, it won't get done there! You can't just make a hospital do something they don't do! And you can't make your GP surgery pay real money to a hospital for something to be done if they do it themselves perfectly well.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 22/09/2013 14:24

Lots of Drs are like that MamaTJ :( My old Dr was and it certainly put me off going. I swear if it got hit by a bus it would have been because I was overweight

I completely accept that being overweight isn't good for you, causes complications in all kinds of ways & is the root cause of a lot of complaints - so your GP has a duty to discuss it when it impacts whatever you are there about, but banging on about it anytime they see you - irrespective of what the appointment about at the expense of actually dealing with the reason you went in the first place is counter productive - people just stay away and their health suffers.

Penguin - State that you will not see Dr X and ask what your options are. Be prepared to say why if you have to. Oh and by the way, your DP is a twat.

starfishmummy · 22/09/2013 14:43

Have you actually seen this gp or is your opinion based on gossip and rumour?

I used to go to a practice where one gp was not very popular. However when I saw him I was surprised to find he was very nice and an excellent doctor. His unpopularity worked to my advantage as it was always easy to get an appointment

CharityFunDay · 22/09/2013 14:44

b penguin,
if this GP is known for this sort of behaviour, the rest of the practice will be aware of it too, so it's not like you'd be the first person to say it out loud. Chances are if you told the practice your reason, they'd just nod sympathetically and make the referral.

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