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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit weird?

21 replies

GeeTeeEff · 21/09/2013 00:56

I work in a cafe/shop. Today at work a man came in, was chatting away, got his order etc. I went to the bank with takings and he appeared chatting away. Asked me what time I finished, what days I worked, if I was married. I just kept it brief, didn't get into detail about my shifts. Anyway, when i was closing up he appeared again, standing really close, I was out the back in secluded area, no one around putting the rubbish out,!-and he pressed up against me to get passed but it was inappropriate closeness if you know what I mean.I felt really vulnerable. He said he was working tomorrow as am I and said 'same time same place'.

Im freaking out about him. Aibu to boot him in the balls and tell him to back the fuck off?

OP posts:
ilovevenice · 21/09/2013 00:58

No - go for it!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 21/09/2013 00:59

YANBU he sounds creepy

bubblesausage · 21/09/2013 01:00

Yanbu, think that's what I'd do! Odd comments, and too much of a coincidence for him to appear 3 times.

Shapechanger · 21/09/2013 01:01

No you are not.

'Pressed up against you'...ugh, this is very disturbing.

If he continues to hassle you then involve the police. I know this might feel like a sledgehammer to crack a nut but I was in a similar situation recently - not me personally but a young woman who was staying in my house. Some guy was following and hassling her when she was walking my dog.

I called the police and they went round to see him and had a word and it stopped, nipped in the bud.

Everyone has the right to go to work without being stalked, followed, questioned or 'pressed up against'.

I would start by talking to your boss (unless you are the boss yourself!) and ask him/her to have a word. If this doesn't work, involve the police.

Original poster
GeeTeeEff · 21/09/2013 01:04

Glad it's not me. Well I think it is me actually, I'm probably quite an over friendly person. I chat away to all the customers and I enjoy talking to people about inane drivel. It passes the time.

OP posts:
Original poster
GeeTeeEff · 21/09/2013 19:09

Well he was hanging about outside my work when I was locking up today. He's seriously giving me the creeps, and with the dark nights coming in. Weirdo.

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 21/09/2013 19:31

If you have a manager/ boss, ask him/ her to be present when you tell this guy that he makes you uncomfortable and you want him to leave you alone. Or get your DP/ friend to pretend to be your DP to come in and greet you with a big kiss and walk away together in front of this man. Or tell him you are gay. Or just kick him in the balls!

catgirl1976 · 21/09/2013 19:32

YANBU

Talk to your manager, let this man know his advances are unwelcome and making you uncomfortable (with someone with you) and if he doesn't go away, report him to the police

Mabelface · 21/09/2013 19:40

Speak to the police about this. This is harassment and he's already pressed himself against you inappropriately. They would take this seriously. I'd also advise not being on your own at open and close for a while. This is actually a very serious matter, and you're right to be scared.

Original poster
GeeTeeEff · 21/09/2013 21:47

I spoke to my boss the other day. She said she knows him and he's 'alright'.

I'll keep an eye on him and definitely report any more incidences to the police.

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 21/09/2013 21:49

Well, if she knows him and thinks he's "alright" suggest that SHE approaches him and tells him to back off before you call the police.

Mabelface · 21/09/2013 23:19

He's not "all right" if he presses himself against you inappropriately.

Tavv · 21/09/2013 23:55

YANBU.

As Madlizzy says he is not "all right" if he's doing things like that. If your boss isn't going to help you out appropriately here, then make sure someone else will.

Do not be on your own with this person at any time.

aliasjoey · 22/09/2013 00:02

How dare your manager dismiss your concerns like that! That's almost worse than the creepy guy. Do you have a 'lone worker's policy?

LaGuardia · 22/09/2013 04:58

Never mind your boss - tell the police now. Or else where do you draw the line? If he did something worse, his defence would be he had rubbed up against you previously and you didn't mind at all.

ILoveMakeUp · 22/09/2013 05:04

Please tell the police. I would not be surprised if he has done this kind of thing - or worse - before.

CharityFunDay · 22/09/2013 05:40

He does sound like a creep but I think you need to have words with your manager first, explaining that her reaction to date hasn't been acceptable. Being sexually harrassed in the workplace is not OK. Then go to the police if it carries on.

CharityFunDay · 22/09/2013 05:40
  • harassed not harrassed
Tavv · 22/09/2013 10:55

How about calling 101 (police local number) for some advice? This is the number for reporting crimes when it's not a 999 situation, but it's also the number for general advice. They may have some suggestions for you.

LovesBeingOnHoliday · 22/09/2013 11:01

Can you get someone to meet you out of work? Pref big burly bloke!

DumSpiroSpero · 22/09/2013 22:30

Do you have DP/H, brother or male friend who could come and meet you tomorrow and maybe another couple of times during the week?

I'd imagine that would put him off pretty quickly.

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