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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New car decision- we disagree

64 replies

Pinkpinot · 19/09/2013 21:47

Dh doesn't drive. And is probably in the car for 2/3 long journeys a year
I do about 10-12k miles per year.
Who gets to decide what car we get?

OP posts:
cumfy · 19/09/2013 22:26

xpost, but surely it won't be that long before he can drive again ?

Hulababy · 19/09/2013 22:30

How small is the car you want to get? Is he very tall and a small car really not very nice, especially on a longer journey?

DH and me both drive so have two cars. Mine if the little car, through choice. DH has the family car day to day but I use it in holidays if I am going on longer journeys - as it is more comfortable for passengers - or taking more than 3 passengers - I only have 4 seats. So, I chose my car (the little one) and DH has the bigger weighting on the family car - as it is his day to day one.

StuntGirl · 19/09/2013 22:56

How cramped is he going to be? If he's 6'2" and you're buying a Mini Cooper I can see the issue.

Original poster
Pinkpinot · 20/09/2013 10:42

So, we have an A6
I want the a5 sportback
He wants another a6 or a Q5
There's a bit of difference inside between A5 and A6, but not massive.
He's 6 3, rugby physique, big guy

I have really fallen in love with this car, and I had a savings plan which was to buy a sports car when I turned 40, but I had to cash it in, to buy our house

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 20/09/2013 11:57

Going with yabu in that case
I accept the logic of others opinion wrt "you're the main driver, you get final day" etc but I disagree with it
Especially now that it seems your decision is based on a rather self centred desire to own a sports car because you've always wanted one etc.

McNewPants2013 · 20/09/2013 12:00

I would love an a6

AKAK81 · 20/09/2013 12:00

YABU for wanting to spend so much on such a bland euro box.

TheFuzz · 20/09/2013 12:02

A5 A6, not much difference really. The A6 is a slightly bigger family car. Very little difference in fuel consumption - same engines

Q5/7 are w@nkpanzers just like X3/5's and driven by plonkers.

Beastofburden · 20/09/2013 12:12

This doesnt come across too well, you know.

You resent having cashed in your savings plan for a shiny sports car to buy a boring old house for the family. Now you want to buy a sports car you have "fallen in love with" rather than a family car.

How long will this fantasy car last you? as your DC grow, will it be big enough for them? Can you park it everywhere without vandalism? Will it transport sports kit, holiday luggage, friends, etc?

If it were the case that twice a year you could rent a big car for DH to squeeze into, and in the meantime you wanted a practical comfortable runabout that suited you and the DC- people would have sympathy. But if what you want is your fantasy car regardless of family practicality- not so much sympathy here.

Original poster
Pinkpinot · 20/09/2013 12:20

The A5 isn't a little sports car
It's a sportier model of the A4. He thinks the A4 is too small for him.
It's still a family car.
It's still plenty big enough, in fact the boot is more practical as it opens a lot further than the A6
The only difference is that DH feels a bit more squashed

OP posts:
Beastofburden · 20/09/2013 12:24

Ok pink, in which case my comments arent fair so I apologise- in that case I would go with the renting a bigger car for holidays model.

Original poster
Pinkpinot · 20/09/2013 12:26

If it was an Audi TT I could see your point
I'm not going for an impractical car, it's even 5 door!!

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 20/09/2013 12:30

Can you not stuff dh in a top box?

Or rent a caravan for him? Or, a zip van on the occasions he needs to be in the family car?

MortifiedAdams · 20/09/2013 12:30

DH doesnt drive and I do.

When we bought a new car in April (new to us not brand new), we agreed together a price, mileage (ideal) and boot size (for buggy etc).

We went to the showroom.together, scouted out a few we thought would work for us and I test drove two while he and dd played in the showroom. I then picked the one I preferred driving.

QuintessentialShadows · 20/09/2013 12:31

The a5 is a boring car for a middle aged man with a bowler hat, you know.

MortifiedAdams · 20/09/2013 12:32

Oh and we went for a Ford Focus. Total parent/suburbs type car because that wss what was best for the family. Both in practicality and cost.

hermioneweasley · 20/09/2013 12:34

Have you discussed the option of getting the one you want and then hiring a car for the few long journeys?

I can't see the A5 being a problem though - it's hardly a smart car!

I have a similar sized car to the Q5 and I love the high driving position, but am often borrowing DW's smaller car as it's much easier to park!

Beastofburden · 20/09/2013 12:35

true pink- can you tell i dont know a lot about cars?

Andro · 20/09/2013 12:37

The only difference is that DH feels a bit more squashed

Hmm...I have a 6ft 4, rugby playing OH (plays 6 or 8 in rugby union so has a pretty muscular build) who was perfectly comfortable in the two A4 I've had over the years.

What do you think of the handling of the A6? I didn't like it at all when I test drove one.

It sounds to me as though you're both after different things and have different priorities, maybe you need to look at some different makes of car and find a compromise?

I do think the principle driver's comfort (including how easy they find the car to drive) has to be a high priority.

BIWI · 20/09/2013 12:38

If you're the main driver, I would say you have more influence on your choice. But to choose something that your DH feels uncomfortable in? Big no. YABU I'm afraid.

Andro · 20/09/2013 12:39

^My reference to the A4's there is because of the similarity in their size to the A5.

Potterer · 20/09/2013 12:44

Pinkpinot my DH is also 6'3" rugby player built and he drives his own car, but he also drives mine too.

He does get a say in the choice of my car but it is because he bloody drives it at least once a week. He enjoys driving, I don't have any love of it so he drives mine as it is better than his little run-a-round.

I would never dictate what car he drove as I never drive it nor really go in it. My car is the family car, has to be big enough for luggage for holidays, taking to boys to school etc.

Honestly, 6'3" isn't that tall, however DH is tall in the body not the legs really so most cars he actually jams his head on the roof of the car. Now that is uncomfortable, but he can easily fit in a mini Grin

Oh, and I am also a SAHM.

Original poster
Pinkpinot · 20/09/2013 12:53

I have loved my A6
I love the drive of the A5 and a new A6
I wasn't comfortable in the Q5, I only have one small child, it seems a bit OTT
McNewpants, I realise how ungrateful I might sound
I know how fortunate we are to be having this problem
Andro, dh is a bit of a moan, maybe he'd be uncomfortable in any car
He moans when he gets in the A6, makes a big fuss about putting the seat all the way back

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkpinot · 20/09/2013 12:54

It's not like I'd be uncomfortable in the A6

OP posts:
Andro · 20/09/2013 12:55

He moans when he gets in the A6, makes a big fuss about putting the seat all the way back

I now fail to understand why he wants another one then!

If you don't like the Q5 (and I don't blame you) then I'm sure he understands that your 'dislike/discomfort' is as valid as his...