Dp has had a serious wake up last night I had to call Doctor out to him he has not been right for some time

[Longhotsoaks]

last night he worried me.

The GP arrived and did a check up on him and said my dp's health is so bad if he does not sort himself out and take some tests to find out what is wrong with then he is very foolish as he should of done this a long time ago and not left it so long.

He said he needs to lose weight as he is obese , he smokes has sores, bad teeth etc he has let himself go and makes excuses all the time.

The Dr said he need to listen to him if he does not take his advice he will no doubt not live to see his children grow up.

How can I help him please.

Did he get help for the depression?

What does he do all day. Is he working? Is he exercising? How much does he actually weigh? Has he had any counselling/therapy?

Thank you Dahlen I know what you are saying makes sense its just we have young children I do not want them to be without their Dad that is why I want to do all I can.

Thank you for your input and for all those who took the time to reply thank you so much.

It's worth getting him to a dentist ASAP. Poor dental hygiene has a big impact on overall health.

Increasing the proportion of veg on his plate and building in regular exercise will help his mood as well as his health.

It's all very much what you will do. What will he do? Brown rice won't help if he's chugging Gregg's when he goes out. I know plenty of people who smoke ecigs and real cigs and fool themselves they are cutting down. Unless he takes 100% responsibility for his health you will be wasting your time. If he makes the choice then support him by all means but you can't do it for him.

Sorry I posted that a while back but mumsnet crashed so I see my point has already been made!

I know I can not do it for him but if he does not do this for the children then I will not stand by and watch him die, harsh I know but I am at the end of my tether.

seriously,you could be describing my father,we just keep making him drink fluids, but he resents our infantilising of him.Self-neglect is a adeep psychological problem.Ireally hope that you can get the help you need

Lack of self care is a symptom of depression. It's part of his illness. So it's the depression that needs tackling and then the self-care will follow. If you try to get him to change his ways and take more care of himself this won't work if the underlying reasons aren't tackled successfully.

And I know you're referring to the depression as being in the past OP, but it does sound like some sort of residual problem is still there, even if he seems better than before. GP visit would be a very good idea.

Why does he have sores? Does he already have diabetes?

Not eating regulary can make a person metabolism slow. If his main meals are quite fatty then he may not be necessary lying about not eating during the day. If his doc is saying he needs tests then there may be another readon for his weight gain.
Those ecigs are good. My partner only uses his on a night out and he used to smoke loads.