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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not feel very sorry for these arseholes?

111 replies

lagertops · 19/09/2013 17:44

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2424983/Christian-B-B-owners-refused-gay-couple-close-business.html

Sorry to link the DM, but I'm just so mad after reading this article, especially the 'Best rated' comments.

I wouldn't wish death threats on anyone, but I really feel that if you're going to bring your religion into your (hospitality) livelihood and alienate customers, then duh! It's not very good for business!

'Shivering and hungry.' Do me a favour.

OP posts:
HonkHonk · 20/09/2013 00:13

I wouldn't want to stay at any guest house that was marketing itself at a niche market I am not part of. I want to be in a hotel that is catering to me. So they can state on their B&B website that they're Christian-run, or a sparkly destination for gay men and that's fine. I'm probably not going to go to either.

However, if I want to check-in (and dtd with a same sex partner in the Leviticus room or read the bible in the Judy Garland suite), they'd damn we'll better let me. Because that's what the law says.

friday16 · 20/09/2013 00:13

It's perfectly legal to say that your main clientele is young/ old/ male/ female/ gay/ straight and that therefore if you're not you might like to think again. What's not legal is refusing booking on that basis.

The other solution is a private members' club. Here is a Devon-based holiday resort for gay and bisexual men, no women allowed. This is legal (we can argue the toss about whether it should be legal, but it absolutely is). It presumably stays in business because enough gay and bisexual men want to go there that (a) that it's discriminatory doesn't bother them and (b) they're willing to piss around with maintaining the fiction that they're joining a club rather than buying a holiday.

The B&B couple could have taken the same tack. "This is a Christian B&B which excludes (whoever) and you have to become a member to stay here". It would have survived legal challenge. But there's a lot of problems problems. Firstly, unlike the niche market of holiday resorts exclusive to gay and bisexual men, "B&B in Cornwall" is hardly a unique market. So how many people would actually book at somewhere which involved joining a club? Maybe a few headbangers from your local "Jesus's words in red ink, meet at the school hall" church, but it's hardly a business. Secondly, private members clubs have all sorts of restrictions which make actually making a profit out of it quite tricky. And thirdly, the owners wanted to lose a legal action, so that they could appear all martyred and shit, and feel they were doing God's work. Hence their doomed appeal court action.

Instead, they had a proposal earlier in the year to become a charity or not for profit, see here. Again, this was at the advice of the CLC (or the Christian Institute, who are essentially the same people). Continuing to take advice from people who have lost multiple court actions for you isn't terribly wise, is it? This would have been laughed out of court.

AlannaPartridge · 20/09/2013 00:49

And thirdly, the owners wanted to lose a legal action, so that they could appear all martyred and shit, and feel they were doing God's work. Hence their doomed appeal court action

Yep, yep, yep.

Catsize · 20/09/2013 07:53

There are hotels out there catering to different groups, be they walkers, scrabble players or gay people. Still can't discriminate on sexual orientation etc. but you are unlikely to go if not a non-scrabble player etc. However, we went to a scrabble one once and didn't realise!
Until I feel I can hold my partner's hand when out shopping on a Saturday afternoon, I can see there is a market for gay hotels etc. Sadly. I wish it didn't have to be like that. Having said that, we are a bit braver now and tend to go to mainstream hotels. A few years ago, we were refused double rooms on occasions, and my partner ususally stayed in the car whilst I checked in. Now we have a child and one one the way, we can't carry on with such shenanigans. He must never feel ashamed of his family.
There are also hotels specifically catering to a transexual market, and again, it isn't hard to see why there is a niche there - can you imagine Mr and Mrs Bull next to a transexual person/couple at breakfast?!
So-called gay hotels tend to be in places where there is lots of other choice too.

friday16 · 20/09/2013 08:09

A few years ago, we were refused double rooms on occasions

It always strikes me that the solution to this sort of shit is to avoid "independent" hotels and all B&Bs like the plague. Ibis for a quick stop, Novotel for a bit of space, Embassy Suites if you're in the USA. Why deal with mad proprietors when you can just turn up, give your name and they give you the key? No inquest into your sleeping arrangements, family structure or how the journey was, minimal interaction, a clean comfortable bed, a decent breakfast. The odd occasions I've allowed myself to be persuaded to stay in a madhouse bed and breakfast I've left thinking I could have paid less, had a nicer room, eaten better and not had to make conversation over coffee had I just gone to the chain hotel down the road.

Catsize · 20/09/2013 08:18

Friday, I agree, but we have also had problems at a Best Western in the Lakes and a couple of places like Travelodge etc. and to be honest, I would rather stay somewhere independent and support them, rather than ply the pockets of the big guys. One of the worst experiences was at a place in 'liberal' Denmark! We don't tend to kick up a fuss but maintain 'please don't worry, we are fine with a double room. That is why I booked one'. There is usually no answer, save awkwardness, and only once or twice has it still been refused. Usually room pre-paid and usually late and can't be bothered. Often it is done on the basis of 'well, I am sorry, we have no more doubles available anyway', to which there is generally no answer either, even if they were implying to the contrary a short time earlier! Times are a-changing though, and my partner now braver - has taken 25 years though!

friday16 · 20/09/2013 08:25

"we have also had problems at a Best Western in the Lakes "

Best Western is a franchise: the individual hotels are individually owned, and are an absolute lottery.

pigletmania · 20/09/2013 08:36

When you run a business you just cannot do this. Too right they have had to close. Keep your personal views and business separate or dont go into tat business

AKAK81 · 20/09/2013 10:17

I wish them a long and miserable retirement. Couldn't happen to a nicer couple.

flimflamflash · 08/07/2019 08:57

if you don't want blacks, Irish, dogs or gays in your house you should not have to

Arpafeelie · 08/07/2019 09:03

Zombie thread.

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