To take a day off work to spend with DS?

[NewWays]

Thats it really - to give you a bit of background im a lp to DS 17 months, working part time.

Since going back to work my grandmother has looked after ds while I work but my beloved grandfather has been diagnosed with cancer so I thought I would enrol him into nursery.

He really loved his first two settling sessions and his first full day but after this hes hated it he has literally cried for me all day.

I have noticed such a massive change in him since he started nursery, hes gone from a cheeky, fun loving independent toddler to being so clingy its unreal He wont leave my side for a second, im co-sleeping the lot (dont mind that though) he even cries when I go to the other side of the room, and wont go to anyone but me not even my DM who he would quite gladly before.

The other day DS was quite poorly I admit but he was being so clingy and just wanted his mummy so I just couldnt face dropping him at nursery so I lost so much money - my days pay and the nursery fees.

So now im stuck - do I pursue with nursery even though he hates it but allows me to work and provide for him? The only other option is to give up work, struggle on income support and rely on the state

What about a childminder or a nanny? Nurseries don't suit some children.

Sweetheart, giving up work because your son is upset is not an option. Agree with outraged, can you look into some other childcare options?

Have you spoken to the nursery staff, do they have any suggestions/recommendations? I'm sure he isn't the first child who has struggled to settle in.

How many days a week is he in nursery?

What are the nursery doing to help him Settle?

I would arrange a meeting with them in the first instance. If you are not happy with their solution then perhaps look for alternative childcare.

It is so difficult. My daughter was like this with nursery, childminder and school.

The first couple of weeks she settled fine but then would get tearful and clingy.

It broke my heart but I had to just persivere with it and eventually she settled just fine. It is so difficult though and you have my sympathy.

Hang in there

agree ^^ you need to talk to the staff, they must have a settling strategy? how long has he been there?

give yourself licence to change his childcare and remember he is just at the age to be clingy.

I was a cm and had previously settled children becoming clingy at 17/18 months so its quite natural.

you need to work and honestly eventually he will settle. are you sure he is so upset the whole time? I used to send photos of the children when they had settled to parents.

talk to the staff ASAP.

My DS started nursery at the same age as yours and he was very clingy and upset when I used to drop him. He'd cry and be heartbroken. I used to take his sister to the upstairs room after dropping DS downstairs. About 5 minutes later I would go around the outside to look at him through the window. He was always settled and playing with toys or his key carer. The separation was awful but the rest of the session was fine for him. Is this how your DS is or does he cry for the whole session?

I dont think you are unreasonable to want to give up work so you can spend time with your ds when he needs you. Would your work let you take a couple of months unpaid leave so you can spend time with your ds and then settle him into nursery very very slowly with you staying with him for the first few weeks?

My ds is only 9 months and wont be starting nursery for another year but if he is distressed when I have to. leave him I really don't think I could do it :( I would do anything to avoid my dc crying for me all day.

froken really how do you think the op would pay the bills this way? Unpaid leave would be completely different benefit wise to unemployed.

Some children just don't enjoy nursery. I would try a childminder.

Thanks everyone for brilliant advice. I would love to take a couple of months unpaid leave but have bills to pay need to pay rent etc.

On some days he settles after the initial upset, some days he doesnt although he doesnt get to a state where hes beside himself as nursery have assured me they would ring.

I think I will look into a childminder, I think its maybe too much of a change for him.