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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you keep your house at 16 degrees..

104 replies

PosyNarker · 18/09/2013 20:29

You ought to tell your guests prior to a 'black tie dinner party'?

Somewhat inspired by a Good Housekeeping thread. I get that people are really struggling, but interested in the MN view because I'm visiting this friend shortly and he's now a lot better off!

I was invited to a dinner party by a good friend who is relatively, if not indecently well off (est £40k pa). He's was at the time single man in a rented flat.

Anyway, he invited a group of us round for aforementioned dinner party and given our social group it was all a bit tongue in cheek but people did dress up. He served goose (ffs), home made pate and a selection of wines. We also took some fairly decent wine given we knew what he was planning.

All very lovely except...he doesn't believe in spending money on heating. It didn't occur to me that he wouldn't turn it on, especially as he knows I'm a bit of a hot house plant, so I duly turned up in the LBD and sat in my coat all night.

AIBU to think that if you invite others over and keep your house at a radically different temp from 20-22 degrees, you ought to warn them in advance? Or not specify black tie?

I am going to visit him soon and wonder if I ought to be asking about the central heating before I go!? He's not particularly an environmentalist (although that's part of it), but he genuinely doesn't feel the cold the way I do (shorts for casual unless snowing, that type of thing).

OP posts:
Original poster
PosyNarker · 18/09/2013 20:49

Princess You're right I probably wouldn't Grin

You see I have my pashmina on hold right now and it's still 11 degrees outside through the day (am in Scotland)

OP posts:
MadameLeBean · 18/09/2013 20:50

16 is arctic. Yanbu

I struggle at work with the aircon and have to wear a wool jumper inside in summer!

froken · 18/09/2013 20:50

I think most homes would need air conditioning to keep them at 16 degrees with a room full of people, the oven on for cooking lots of food and candles lit.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 18/09/2013 20:51
Grin
KneesoftheBee · 18/09/2013 20:52

I feel the cold (actually got raynaud's) but get really warm if I am cooking and always turn the heating off.

VerySmallSqueak · 18/09/2013 20:53

Was the homemade pate worth it?

Faithless12 · 18/09/2013 20:54

DH has the heating set to 16C even in the darkest depths of winter (he has put it up to 17 once when I was cold and ill), it never changes unless it's summer and then he turns it down.

Spatsky · 18/09/2013 20:54

You didn't say but not, you said if not which where I come from would mean you were saying they probably were indecently well off. It's pebbly a regional turn of phrase difference and ot, but just explaining why I made that comment Smile

Thesimplethings · 18/09/2013 20:55

I have my heating set to come

FreddieStarrAteMyHamster · 18/09/2013 20:55

I personally hate anything over 17c

charleybarley · 18/09/2013 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsOakenshield · 18/09/2013 20:56

16 is freezing, especially if you're not moving about.

Fair enough when you home alone. But I always put the heating on if I have visitors. I want them to feel comfortable. I have a friend who refuses to have the heating on until October, and even then doesn't have it on much, has wooden floors and a 'no shoes' policy. Sorry, but that's all very unwelcoming.

I want to hear about the homemade pate too.

Original poster
PosyNarker · 18/09/2013 20:57

Lunatic No, everyone else took black tie to mean, umm, black tie. So men in traditional suits, women in cocktail dresses with pashminas or cropped cards if they'd thought to bring them.

Honestly, I don't think it was 16 degrees now I think of it. There were 12 of us there in one room, it's a kitchen diner (so oven on). He claimed 16 degrees was his 'default temperature' but I maybe that was the warmest room!

OP posts:
Thesimplethings · 18/09/2013 20:59

I'll try again Hmm

I have my heating set to come on if it goes below 16 degrees. I find that comfortable as I hate being too hot.

Despite the low temp I still pay over 200 a month gas and electric Angry

Original poster
PosyNarker · 18/09/2013 21:03

Very He's a very good cook. We actually had a bit of a competition going when he was local (he's now abroad). It was a nice pate and goose for that matter.

Faithless If you both agree on that, or that this is what's necessary for your family finances then that's fine. As a personal view (and I've made this abundantly clear to DP), the heating goes up when I want it to.

OP posts:
FredFredGeorge · 18/09/2013 21:04

20-22 degrees is not normal! If someone invited me to their house and that was the temp I'd be asking them to open the window or put a fan on!

But YANBU, he should've ensured it was a suitable temperature for his guests - mind you when I was a single man in a modern flat I never had the heating on, the insulation and the neighbours kept the flat so hot it wasn't necessary, so I'm surprised if it really was that cold!

SeaSickSal · 18/09/2013 21:08

Some people just like it cold. When I was at boarding school the girl in the bunk bed above me kept the window open no matter what the weather. I used to wake up to snow on my head and pillow.

HopeForTheBest · 18/09/2013 21:11

16°???! My nose would be running.

This is interesting. Apparently, under "normal conditions", room temperature is 21°.

valiumredhead · 18/09/2013 21:22

Arf@40k being indecently well offGrin ..it totally depends on your out goings. Our income is more than that but I'm leaving the heating off for as long as possible and couldn't afford to keep the house at 22 which is tropical imo.

Thesimplethings · 18/09/2013 21:24

If normal room temp is 21 why do SIDS recommend a temp of 16-18 in babies room?

I find 16/18 comfortable, anything over 20 is hot. Granted I'm always on the move with two toddlers and living space is always a bit warmer due to body heat/cooking etc. I usually wear a vest top and light cardigan/jumper/shirt. At bed time I sleep in the nude and am always warm and snug.

22 heat for me would be stuffy.

Talkinpeace · 18/09/2013 21:29

Did you have a thermometer with you then?

22 degrees is profligate with energy - jumpers are cheaper

we keep ours at around 19 - but it gets a bit cooler in the evening after the heating goes off at 9 (cooler bedrooms are healthier)

littlewhitebag · 18/09/2013 21:29

I like my house to be 20 when i am sitting about watching TV but it is too warm if i am doing housework. I also like my bedroom to be cooler as i can't sleep if it is too warm. If i was wearing a flimsy cocktail dress and it was 16 i would be freezing.

LynetteScavo · 18/09/2013 21:31

I want my house to be 22'C.

If it was, DH walk sweat and look like this . Angry

We have our heating to come on at 17'C. Hmm

IsabelleRinging · 18/09/2013 21:32

16 degrees is cold, our house is not a warm house and it has to be about -2 outside before our living room reaches 16 without the heating on.

If you are too hot at 21/22 degres how on earth do you cope in the summer when it is 22 or more on most days? Weird!

Yika · 18/09/2013 21:32

OP, YANBU. I also recently went to a dinner party where the house was freezing and it's really my only memory of the evening - I didn't enjoy it at all. I was tired after a day at work and wanted to relax and feel cosy but I just couldn't get comfortable sitting making small talk in such a cold environment.

But then again, hardy types have been known to complain about the tropical heat in my place (ancient heating system that cranks out full blast all winter).

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