Or was my dentist being unreasonable?

[FlatsInDagenham]

I had an emergency appointment today as a large filling has fallen out. He had a quick look and then told me that there isn't much tooth left and the options were to do a new filling or extract the tooth.

Our conversation went something like this:

"Which option do you think is best?"
"I can't tell you which one to choose. We can fill it but it may come out again."
"So do you think removing the tooth is best?"
"You're asking me to make the decision? I can't do that."
"No, I'm asking for your expert opinion. I can make my decision based on that."
"I don't know how I can put it any more simply for you .. we can do either."

This went on and on, much along the same lines with both of us getting more and more frustrated and him refusing to recommend one course of action over the other.

I don't get it. I'm an English teacher and if a student or parent asked my expert opinion on, say, whether to sit Foundation or Higher papers at GCSE, I would do exactly that - give my opinion one way or the other after weighing up all the pros and cons.

He was really frustrated with me and I must admit I'm quite upset about the whole thing (I'm a sensitive soul - must toughen up).

Is it me getting it horrendously wrong or are dentists supposed to tell you what they think needs doing?

Sounds like the dentist was just covering his own arse tbh, in case you ended up being unhappy with whatever decision you made.

If he didn't give you the pros and cons of each option, he was not doing his job.

However he cannot make the decision for you. He should be providing you with all the information you need to make an informed decision.

I don't get why you thought posts were in favour of the dentist. I didn't read it like that at all.

He was being a knob imo. YOu need advice to make an informed decision.

Extraction sounds a bit drastic - are you sure?

Fucking hell, my nhs dentist whipped two of my (perfectly healthy) teeth out two years ago because he said I had gum disease. I was a bit at the time, but felt I had no choice but to go along with it. He was newly qualified and soon moved on (you never see the same dentist twice at my practice), and now this thread has got me wondering if he was just practising on me, the unethical bastard

My dentist gives me options. I hate it.i know nothing of teeth beyond brushing twice a day.

I have discovered he has a daughter my age though. When he gives me a choice I don't understand, I ask him what he would do if I was his daughter rather than me. He is almost always very decisive.

YABU

My dentist is awesome and would tell me what he thinks the best option is.

Just like when I went to the GP and had two options of treatment, I expect them to tell me which they think is best and they always have and tell me the pros and cons of each treatment.

Your dentist sucks.

Sorry YANBU

I think it's reasonable for the dentist to get you to decide, but it sounds like he didn't give you enough information on the pros and cons of each option to do that. And he was also very patronising with the 'don't know how to put it any more simply' comment. Plus, being in the dentist's chair can feel quite vulnerable, which is another reason for the dentist to be extra patient in explaining the options and ensuring that the individual is fully informed.

Even if you felt obliged to make a decision there and then, if you still aren't satisfied with the information you received, I would ask more questions. (I would want to know how important the tooth was - is it truly dispensable - and would also consider how long the previous filling lasted so that you can guess how long a replacement might last.)

Maybe your dentist was having an off day. If not, is there another dentist you could see in the practice?

Well if it's any consolation I think the dentist sounds a total arse!! If you're asking him to recommend one, then that's what he should do!

YANBU. Your dentist shouldn't get frustrated with you for asking his professional opinion. You could have a crown put on over the roots if there isn't much natural tooth left for a filling to adhere to but crowns can be pricey.

Most dentists want to save natural teeth (or at least their roots) where possible so he was being a bit hasty in wanting to whip your tooth out.

I have been referred by my nhs dentist to a local university dental school to try and sort my root canal.

a dentist here
I can not possibly answer all questions raised but a few points

1. sometimes there are two genuine choices like in OP neither is great but it is a genuine choice

2, if very little natural tooth is left you can not always crown a tooth even once you root fill it so therefore sometimes it is best to extract as even if root treatment successful the crown is unrestorable mostly you can restore but occasionally not

1. it is not always in patients best interests to save a tooth just because it can be saved,
2. treatments pros and cons should be carefully explained but there is not always a right and wrong choice or even a better choice
3. it is essential communication works in OP's case it was clearly not working well enough
4. ultimately it is the patients choice that matters I do guide where appropriate but informed consent means you either agree with the one option i present or you have chosen the option you prefer out of those presented
5. no patient has to agree to any treatment plan, however no patient can make a dentist do something they do not believe is in your best interests ie someone requesting extractions of teeth with tiny holes or none because of mistaken belief that dentures will be better
6. not all teeth can be successfully root treated, however you do not need to be a specialist or private dentist to do decent root treatments, they can be done well and successfully on the NHS, some teeth are difficult and need referrals knowing when to refer is part of being a good professional and knowing the limits to your skills I personally do 90% of the root treatments required in general practice and refer maybe 5-10% others with more or less experience may do differently

Good post by sarahtigh

I'll give you an example:
Two identical teeth with 50% chance success with root treatment and crown. 1st patient is horrified at the idea of losing a tooth, any tooth, and is prepared to pay what it takes and have whatever treatment it takes to save it. They are medically well, have no particular social or domestic complications in their life, and they are able to tolerate long periods in the dental chair. They choose the best option for them which is root treatment.
2nd patient is nervous about having dental treatment, is a carer for their young child and disabled husband, attendance for several lengthy appointments would be difficult, they don't have much cash to spare, the toothache is causing sleepless nights which is taking it's strain and they just want the damn tooh out. They choose extraction which is right for them.

2 extreme examples, but your preferences are influences by so many things that although the dentist could say which they would choose, if it were their tooth, they can't say what they would choose. You have the right to self determination, thankfully, in law.

Sorry for typos
They can't say what you should choose

Thanks ukatlast I have a movement disorder, so some times need someone to hang onto my head to do dental treatment. The solution to everything seems to be have a GA and have teeth removed (they say sedation isn't reliable enough), which seems unfair as I've had a root canal before, it just takes time.

I had this exact scenario last week. Difference is, I'm in the US (but British) and here, as the filling came out of a wisdom tooth, the first thing the dentist said was he'd remove the tooth. He was very clear that there wasn't much point in filling it (though here wisdom teeth are much more commonly removed as routine).

In the event, as I'm in my third trimester, and it's the US, and everyone is scared of being sued, I've had to get my OB to write the dentist a letter saying treatment could go ahead and had a temporary filling in the meantime. The dentist didn't really want to do this - which makes me respect him all the more as just extracting the tooth was the cheaper option. Anyway, here, there is no dilly dallying and the dentists will tell you exactly what they recommend. You just need to find one with a good reputation first.

jerimiad - usually if you need to remove a tooth because of gum disease, it is already loose. Were they loose? Anything less than loose is usually patchupable or fixable if you have the funds.
If you did have gum disease, what dental cleaning instruction did he give you - did he arrange for you to see a hygienist regularly to try to keep the rest of your teeth?
If not you need to change dentist. You may have been 'poned' on the NHS.
If you are correct in your concern, I think it's not so much that he wanted to 'practise' extractions on you. I'd say it's that extractions were the quicker option for him and that he was time-pressured.
If you really do/did have gum disease, he should be helping you to save the rest of your teeth from now on.

No, they weren't loose at all! They were very tightly seated and he sweated like a bastard getting them out.

He gave me no dental cleaning instructions at all, and I have never seen a hygienist (I'm 48 and no dentist has ever suggested it).

No one has ever mentioned gum disease to me before or since, and I'm sure I don't have any.

I'm really pissed off now!

You're pissed off because you had teeth out? If you really genuinely think there was no good reason for them to come out, arrange an appointment with the practice manager of the surgery and ask to go through your treatment with her.