That I do not need behaviour updates from teacher.

[neunundneunzigluftballons]

My daughter aged 8, has what appears to be dyslexia and is due to be assessed next month although her resource teacher needs no convincing. She consequently has awful organisation skills. She does not get the time to write down her homework in her journal and has more than once since the start of term forgotten to bring home items she needs for homework including today. Today she got behaviour comments in her notebook about forgetting her work. I am not happy about this being linked to behaviour as my daughter is clearly deficit in organisation skills and actuallt is very well behaved. AIBU. I wrote a note to the teacher to mention once again that DD forgot to bring home work but she told me that teacher doesn't like to get notes from parents. I felt like telling DD that I know how she feels.

So she hasn't been assessed yet? So officially she has no excuse? So the teacher is quite rightly getting ragged off with her not remembering stuff.

I'd request a meeting with teacher, resource person and DD to work out a plan to help DD be more organised.

I completely agree with you. Forgetting something is not the same as poor behaviour. Sorry for your DD

Is it a case of documenting your daughter's issues in order to ensure that she will get the support she needs when she is assessed? Presumably they will look at a variety of information about how she manages her school work in order to make the assessment. Also, even if she does get a diagnosis, her organisational issues will still need to be addressed, so maybe her teacher is trying to encourage her to work towards solutions which will help her regardless of her diagnosis.

Ignore ignorant comments as above OP. my daughter is dyslexic and I know how her confidence has been knocked by teachers in the past. It is not her fault and I only hope after she is assessed she will receive the support she needs. :-)

Sorry that was aimed at moogy1a comment.

YANBU - whether the diagnosis is 'official' yet or not the school have obviously recognised that your dd has some difficulties so the teacher should be aware of this and be more accommodating (I'm a teacher btw).

If your dd is not getting enough time to write down homework then either more time should be allowed by the teacher or your dd should be given support from a TA or the teacher to write it in.

With the items she needs to bring home why can't someone help her to put them straight into her book bag or similar? Do you pick her up or does she have a cm or similar? Can the person picking up check with the teacher whether things have been given out and subsequently that your dd has them?

Once you have had the assessment it will be clearer to all what her difficulties are specifically and then someone can work with her to teach her strategies to cope.

FWIW I have dyslexia albeit a mild form and my memory is terrible but I now have strategies which work for me and have been very successful so it doesn't mean she will struggle forever. Good luck x

Don't communicate in notes. Go and see the teacher. Notes are worse than useless.

They aren't ignorant comments, they are right. If every child who may or may not have an issue is ignored, how does that help anyone? She did not do what she was supposed to do, for whatever reason, and it is the teachers job to let the parent know that.

Also dyslexia does not automatically mean poor organisation, nor vice versa. Try working WITH your childs teacher instead of complaining about them, you might do better by your child.

Moogy the only reason she has not been diagnosed yet is because assessment costs 500 euro + or else go on a waiting list of up to 4 years from now. Her resource teacher with 20 years experience and every other teacher throughout the years have voiced their concern or categorically said they think she has it. Thanks ladies for the advice I was in with her resource teacher last week discussing the assessment but I think I will make another appointment. She is not too bad at home with organisation, she can tidy her room and playroom and pack suitcases for over nights but she gets close on an hours homework each evening and she is just really over whelmed.

Do you mean she forgot to bring work from home into school?

I don't think it's a bad thing to let you know about any problems in the easiest way possible, lots of schools have home/school books or communication books, they are a good way of keeping communication open between parents and the school, as they can't have a meeting with you every single day.

It seems like you are taking offence to the fact that it was written in a 'behaviour' section, but behaviour means behaviour, not negative behaviour. Was there anywhere else she could have written?

I agree with speaking to the teacher directly, but I really can't see the problem with using notes as communication. My school does it all the time.

Sorry x post ladies, thanks again. but pumpkin pie we do not have access to the school they pour out the doors after school and cm picks up outside the gates. her teacher is on her own with a large group no classroom assistants to work with so I am not sure how she will manage with trying to get her organised. Has anyone any strategies that they have used sucessfully teachers or parents of kids with dyslexia?

Broken sun glasses I did take offence tbh about the behaviour as it was put on a photo copied behaviour sheet which she glued into the book. It is a behaviour/uniform sheet. I know what you mean about behaviour being good and bad but given the circumstance I don't believe she was suggesting it was good behaviour iykwim.

I would talk to the teacher about how she thinks the problem should be managed.

If she thinks your DD's forgetfulness is a behaviour problem, what sanctions/rewards will she be using to help your DD improve her behaviour? This should demonstrate to her how inappropriate it is to label this as bad behaviour.

Once she has accepted that this isn't actually a behaviour issue because it has already been acknowledged that your DD struggles with organisation, you can bring the conversation around to how she can support your DD by offering strategies to help your DD remember things and having an adult double check to ensure she isn't put at a disadvantage by her difficulties.

Lead the teacher through this thought process by asking questions rather than telling her what she should be doing so she thinks that the support is her idea.

My ds has AS and can be very unorganised, but then so can my other child who has no SEN. They are both much older than your dd, and I still have to be on their cases to make sure they organise themselves.

My older ds has a list on his bedroom door to remind him of everything he needs to do before he can relax for the evening, so it includes preparing the school bag for the next day. I can just ask if he has done everything on the list now, instead of asking him if he has done each thing individually, and it has helped I think. It was a suggestion made by someone else on here.

I think 8 is quite young to expect them to be able to organise everything they need themselves without any support, dyslexia or not.

OP ignore the "queens of mean" posting on here. DS 1 is dyslexic and had a very hard time with organising himself. Thankfully, teachers and school were brilliant, with helping him with things like:-

Putting his coat peg at the end of the row for easy quick access.

Helping him write homework etc down/giving it to him typed out.

Colour coding his week so he knew what subjects were on which days.

Teaching him to mind maps.

Teaching him abbreviations to make note taking easier.

I wasn't being mean. I'm just pointing out that in the teacher's view, there are no excuses for the lack of organisation.
Having worked in a large school, I know that unless you have a piece of paper with an "official" diagnosis of some SEN which might explain behaviour / poor work, you have to assume that there is no reason.
( Although OP's school does sound like a small place where all the teachers seem to be aware of impending assessment so I should STFU.

Having worked in a large school, I know that unless you have a piece of paper with an "official" diagnosis of some SEN which might explain behaviour / poor work, you have to assume that there is no reason.

If that school is in the UK they need to take a proper look at the SEN Code of Practice which makes it very clear that support in education should be needs led, not diagnosis led.

Sorry hit enter before I'd finished. Forgetting/not be able to write stuff down is not a behavioral issue, it is an issue she needs help with, maybe and very possible because of the dyslexia. She does not need santioning/rewarding for when it does/does not go to plan. Would you do this with a blind person who bumped into furniture? Errr? No! Why do you 'officially need an excuse?' FFS

Does your school has a SENCO? Special Educationl Needs Co-ordinator? find out and request a meeting ASAP.

My DS1 is now at how school after acheiving level 4's across the board in his SATS because of the help, support, kindness, adjustments made to help him get to be where he is today! He was not thick, incapable or stupid, he has a processing disorder. Simple. He's now at high school and these brilliant strategies are helping him cope so well with all the new stuff and his high school have again be TOTALLY AWESOME with their help.

Tough shit the teacher does not like notes, write a big long one, expressing your concerns and asking for a meeting. Does not like notes!! My Arse! It's like me saying "I don't like my clients so I won't speak to them" Your teacher should do her job properly, more help less cutting and sticking notes into homework diaries. The various teachers you mention need to communicate. Again

"I wasn't being mean. I'm just pointing out that in the teacher's view, there are no excuses for the lack of organisation"

Can a teacher not have a more empathic, intuative view/approach? She is well aware of the assesments due/going on.

Does each child need to have a black & white diagnosis for anything to to be amiss?

And don't give me that "too busy/class of 30 bullshit" I have over/deal with 25 clients/projects and I can manage. Just because they are being assessed should not send a half decent teacher into a tail spin.

And NEVER EVER EVER 'STFU' when it comes to your child.

*Can a teacher not have a more empathic, intuative view/approach? She is well aware of the assesments due/going on.

Does each child need to have a black & white diagnosis for anything to to be amiss?*
I'm not saying it's right. Just that IME that's the attitude in large schools ( and I wasn't a teacher so don't blame me!!)

neun if you are in Germany most of the helpful replies will be irrelevant (the hour + of homework, no teaching assistants, school exit description etc. make me suspect you are). Try posting on living overseas - there are lots of people with experience of the (very different and much less individualised) German system. Good luck.

Thanks all Mr Tumble I am actually in Ireland where resources have been slashed in the last number of years due to education cut. Moogy it is a big school but other teachers through the years have managed tonnes of empathy without diagnosis. Someone wrote about notes being a bad way to communicate and I am probably inclined to agree but the school use them especially because I am at work.

Thanks for all the suggestions I will definitely go and speak to the resource and other teacher. I glad I am not being unreasonable because I was hopping mad earlier but have calmed down.