to expect that when i say 'dont do that' in my own house, that you dont do it?

[JRmumma]

MIL insists on 'tidying' my kitchen every time she comes round. I have a 5 week old and I know she is only trying to help, but she doesn't actually make any difference to the amount of stuff that needs to be done and I have to go round after her and re-do stuff. I keep saying come and sit down and don't do it but she ignores me. AIBU to get so annoyed about this? It really does piss me off.

YANBU this would annoy me too. Why don't you ask her to do something else instead if she wants to be helpful?

It would piss me off, and I don't have a 5 week old to contend with. Did she do this before? If its really bothering you and she is ignoring you then you're going to have to ask your DH to subtly have a word I think.

Is there a job you would rather she do? Maybe a little light ironing or something you can direct her towards? She probably just really wants to be helpful

Fair enough that it pisses you off, but if she wants to help I would definitely find a job that doesn't piss you off for her to do.

A bit of help with a little one is an absolutely blessing.

Just send her to my house. Any help would be appreciated. Give her something to do if you're not happy about how she does things. However I'm sure that at her age she knows how to do the washing up. YA so BU.

Why not just point out to her how you actually want things done, then she can feel helpful and you won't have to redo her good deeds.

Suggest something that might actually be useful instead?

she thinks shes helping

she needs more than a gentle push - she needs a strong " please don't do that, I do not want you to help me around the house"

She probably thinks you are just being nice telling her to sit down, and doesn't realise you actually DON'T want her to do it

blueberry - that's just it, she doesn't wash up properly and not only do i have to do it all again, but i have to try and remember what washing up there was so i can get it back out of the cupboards.

I understand that she wants to help but one persons help is often another persons hinderance. I honestly don't need her help, me and DH are managing just fine. Id rather she just be a guest than try to be my housekeeper. The only thing i could do with someone's help with is preparing meals but she is an AWFUL cook, and i mean seriously inedible awful.

I have been there! Mine often comes into my house, tidies kids bedrooms, does laundry etc etc and genuinely drives me crazy. We have a lot of other issues though.

Could you find something for her to do to make her feel useful, like ironing maybe?

If not, you will have to bite the bullet and tell her that you would rather she was a guest in your house and whilst you have appreciated her help you want to get back to welcoming her as a guest, not housekeeper.