To be thoroughly fed up of SIL?

[ballinacup]

Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits but isn't there always a but? she is driving me mad with constant boasts about DNephew.

DNephew, 5yo, is, I suppose, best described as an 'all rounder'. He is clever, sporty and popular. He plays football, cricket, goes swimming, is by all accounts doing very well at school and as a family we are all immensely proud of him.

However, every time news of his latest achievement is delivered, it is always accompanied by a put down of one of DNephew's peers. Take for example the conversation SIL and I had this weekend, in front of DNephew.

SIL: DS is doing so well, at swimming, aren't you DS?
DNephew: I'm Level 3 now!
Me: Oh well done, DNephew, that's fantastic.
SIL: Mind you, his friend X started swimming a year before DS, and X is having to retake Level 3 for the fourth time now. X has always been a bit behind though...
Me: Oh. Okay. Well, well done DNephew, so pleased you're doing well.

It's the same with every singe achievement DNephew has. It's always delivered at the expense of one of his peers and always within his earshot. It is also usually accompanied by a 'it's so difficult being the parent of a gifted child' comment as well. WIBU to gently point out to SIL that DNephew is going to start repeating the unpleasant and demeaning things she says about other children in front of him and that it may well lead to him becoming a lot less popular than he is now?

YANBU. I cannot abide parents like that! Gives me the

I felt especially when I saw they last quote in your OP, about the "gifted child"

Is she your brother's wife, or the sister of your DH? Either way, I'd have a quiet word either in her ear or her DH's.

'it's so difficult being the parent of a gifted child'

Oh, do fuck off

I wish I could just laugh her out of it, but it wouldn't work. Sooner or later DNephew may start believing his own hype and may suffer if he comes up against something he isn't immediately good at.

I feel sorry for ddephew as his mum's attitude will do him no favours.

Whenever I hear "gifted" I shudder

I think you should point out that her behaviour towards your nephew's peers is cruel - being proud of her son is one thing, but using that as a stick to beat his classmates with is just odd and mean.

My cousins were like this about their boy. Then the kid discovered beer and girls and the boasting dropped off.

I don't think you should get involved in this one. She will discover this in her own time. All you will achieve is pissing her off to a great extent and cause a lot of problems. Some things you just have to grin and bear.

She is clearly feeling insecure.

If you really have a gifted child the last thing you want to do is shout about it because that loses you friends.

I would ask her if other parents put his achievements down a lot and when she asks why you can explain that you find it odd that she has to belittle other children to make her DS look good and you just assumed it was the culture amongst the mums she associates with.

Respond with a compliment about the other child.

how great that hes trying. Perserverence is a great quality in a person. I bet his parents are very proud.

My ex bf's parents were a bit like this, and it was very, very uncomfortable to listen to, even from on the "approved" list, as I was.