If I go to the CSA, ex's ex will get less. What to do?!

[Fedup26]

Recently I split up with my children's father. We have 3 together and he already has a daughter with another ex, who has been paying £360.00 a month for to his other ex through the CSA.

When his ex found out that we had split, I received a FB message from her asking me not to go to the CSA as her child support that she gets will go down. I ignored the message as I was still heart broken from the split and didn't need the added stress of her on my back.

So since she has sent me that message I have given it some more thought, and realised that my stepdaughter will receive less money and this bothers me. But I need that security of the CSA that my children will get a contribution from their father as I don't trust him if we had a private arrangement.

What do I do? Do I just go to the CSA anyway as my children are my priority now or do I need to keep considering my DSD's well being for the next X amount of years even when I am not in her life anymore?

This is such a shit situation!

Sorry I meant 1/4 to the ex and 3/4s to the OP

Thanks for all of the helpful replies.

Me and his other ex have always been civil but never really spoken that much, just at drop offs or passing by in the street we'd say a quick hello. Anything to do with DSD including finances was discussed between her and exP. So I really just want to keep it that way going forward as well. Anything to do with maintenance I'd like her to talk to exP.

Hmm, I suppose this is a conversation that I will need to have with him if he's willing to discuss it.

I suppose if he's going to pay £360.00 for one child, then technically he'd have to do the same for all of them, which would equal £1,440! That's very excessive in my opinion.

as stated above, it would not mean £360 x3.

No, technically he won't have to pay that much. It will be worked out based on his earnings, and how many children he has.

His ex stands to lose a lot of money if you go through the CSA, and there is no way you will get anywhere near that much for each child.

Go to the CSA, your children have to be your priority.

As others have said, this man has four children who all have an equal claim. It's not for you and the other ex to sort it out between you. Let the CSA do that.

That's not how it works at all OP.

Look at what others have posted.

YANBU to go to CSA. Like someone else said, when an ex has a new child you know that you could lose money and you adjust accordingly. If his ex hasn't prepared for the worst then I am afraid that is silly of her and not your problem.

They will actually take more from him. It won't be the £390 split by 4, it doesn't work that way. My ex had 3 children to someone else after me and when they split mine reduced, but not down to a quarter. They take a larger amount from him.

Example from the CSA website.

Mike is the non-resident parent of Ruth’s daughter. He is also the non-resident parent of Jill’s 2 sons. Mike pays child maintenance through the CSA for 3 children.

We work out how much Mike has to pay as follows. Mike’s net weekly income is: £360

Because Mike’s income is over £200 a week he pays the basic rate.

He has 3 children to support so he must pay 25% of his net weekly income as child maintenance.

25% of £360 is: £90

This amount is then shared between Ruth and Jill in proportion to the number of children living with each of them.

Ruth gets one-third – £90 x 1?3 is: £30 Jill gets two-thirds – £90 x 2?3 is: £60

Mike pays £30 a week for child maintenance to Ruth and £60 a week to Jill.

So I would assume 3/4 would go to OP and 1/4 to the ex

picture is right.