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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be absolutely freakin petrified of flying

37 replies

Pinkbutterfly31 · 17/09/2013 22:13

I'm off on holiday next week! All good, yes? Well, it would be if I wasn't absolutely fecking petrified of flying. To make matters worse, we are taking a grand total of 7 flights in the next two weeks.

I did the virgin flying without fear course a few weeks ago, and it helped a little bit. In fact, the flight at the end of the course was the first time I've been on a plane for 10 years.

Does anyone have any helpful tips or hints, because instead of looking forward to the holiday of a lifetime, I'm just dreading it :(

OP posts:

Justforlaughs · 17/09/2013 22:15

No helpful hints I'm afraid, but I would point out that I'm not scared of flying - just of the plane falling out of the sky!

Justforlaughs · 17/09/2013 22:15

Sorry, not helpful I know!

froken · 17/09/2013 22:16

Wine and rubbish magazines work for me.

Also I ask to sit near the air hosts and they boring chat ( to each other) keeps me calm.

TigOldBitties · 17/09/2013 22:16

Can you get some sleeping tablets or something that will knock you out for the flight so ease the stress?

blueberryupsidedown · 17/09/2013 22:23

okok, I used to be scared of flying, went through stupid superstitions, sleepless nights, cancelled flights (to see my family in North America) but I got over it. How? I don't know i just did. I have just been to a holiday of a lifetime in Iceland and actually enjoyed the fight.

I can't tell you how liberating it is to just say to myself 'It's fine, I'm going to be OK, the flight will be ok'. The truth is, I will not let my stupid fears come between me and my dreams. I don't have any other tips, it's stupid isn't it. In a way it's a mental thing, you just need to get over it yourself. I do find that talking to flight attendents is reassuring. Good luck, I know how you fell!

Original poster

Pinkbutterfly31 · 17/09/2013 22:28

Thanks :)

Ha justforlaughs that is what I'm scared of!

I am planning on going to the docs to see what they can give me!

Thanks Blue, I totally understand what you are saying. I am so fed up of this fear stopping me from doing what I want.

OP posts:

queenmools · 17/09/2013 22:32

I went on the virgin fear of flying course too. It really helped. I always sit by the windrow and talk my husband through exactly what is happening. It also helps me to plan what I'm going to do with the time on the flight, I even write myself out a timetable. I try to imagine something good I'm going to do when I get off the plane. It is completely a mental thing so try to let go. I used to see bad omens everywhere and have stupid superstitions. I hope you come through it because it is a horrible feeling. Good luck.

feelinlucky · 17/09/2013 22:33

Diazepam, propananol and a whiskey! Does the job every time :) no joke!

MrsBW · 17/09/2013 22:35

Remind yourself that you are FAR more likely to be seriously injured or killed during the drive to andfrom the airport.

Then, what feelinlucky said.

Get thee to a doctor for some medical intervention...

ChuffMuffin · 17/09/2013 22:37

I think when you get back you should see your doctor, it sounds like you have a proper phobia and I know first hand how fear of flying makes you feel. I am 90% better than I was with flying, I don't have much choice though as I have to take a 12 hour flight once a year! I just couldn't live with my fear like that any more, I knew it was irrational and destroying me. So I did something about it. :)

This is an interesting website that helped me to think rational thoughts about flying - Flight Radar 24. Zoom out on the map. Look how many flights are in the air right now across the world.. none of them have had any problems. Think how many more have flown without incident. And yesterday, and the day before.. and so on.

PoppyWearer · 17/09/2013 22:39

I've also done the course and it really did help. I bet you'll be fine.

Jewels234 · 17/09/2013 22:40

I have the worst fear of flying...to cure myself I...

Have Valium prescribed (works wonders)
Have 3 double gin and tonics before take off
Always tell the flight attendants that I'm scared...they can be brilliant, especially Easy Jet who let me talk to the pilots and sit near them so I can talk to them on the flight

Good luck!

GemmaTeller · 17/09/2013 22:43

I am beyond terrified of flying, the point of no return when you take off, being in an enclosed space, having no control over anything, being so far off the ground, dying...

When I worked at a doctors I had one hypnotherapy session and managed a flight to Spain and back.

A few years later I went to Turkey on my own on a yoga holiday and whilst I should have had more hypnotherapy I opted for low dose diazepam, it took me three tablets to get there and four to get back and on both flights the person sat next to me held my hand

Amy106 · 17/09/2013 22:46

I like an aisle seat. I don't feel so trapped and can take a walk to the toilet and splash cold water on my face if needed without disturbing others in the same row.

Onsera3 · 17/09/2013 22:46

Have had to fly loads and occasionally it dawns on me that I'm in a machine in the air and I feel uneasy. So I pretend I'm just on a big bus and don't look out the windows. This is helped by sitting in the aisle. I keep myself distracted and don't listen to the pilot's waffle about altitude etc Oh and have a wine.

gordyslovesheep · 17/09/2013 22:47

drugs - I hate flying with my kids because I have to remain awake. I hate hate hate planes - hate being confined and try to avoid it as much as possible.

I tend to drink a bit which takes the edge off - I can't relax enough to read

maybe download a fear of flying 'talk' to listen to during the flight (one of those hypno type things)

Flying home from Spain this year I had a member of cabin crew sat in the aisle holding my hands during a bit of nasty turbulence - I feel your pain

feelinlucky · 17/09/2013 22:48

The propanolol and diazepam is a good combo. The prop stops your heart from racing and a low dose Diaz keeps you über calm. I semi joking about the alcohol but a wee dram always helps.

KalevalaForMePlease · 17/09/2013 22:51

I was a very nervous flyer, and a few years ago, while backpacking round Australia, I did a flying lesson in a Cessna. Don't know how I found the courage, but very glad I did. It was duel control, and so I was doing the taking off, following the pilot's instructions in the air, and did most of the landing!
I think it was the calmness of the pilot that helped, he was very relaxed about everything, I became more aware of the various sounds that terrified me before, like when the throttle was pushed in or out, and the noise it made. I think as well for me, it's the control issue. I was terrified before because I felt hemmed in, couldn't see what was going on and why, and so my imagination went wild about all the sounds and sudden movements.
I really recommend it, for me it took away that terror and anxiety. I don't love it now, but I can relax on a flight, have a drink, a snooze etc.

MaidOfStars · 17/09/2013 22:53

Tell the air stewards - I have had extra drinks service because of this!

I used to be so scared, I didn't fly. But I did a lot of reading and a lot of counting. When you're at the airport, have a look at all the planes, happily going on their merry way. Even if one plane was definitely going to crash that day, how could it possibly be your plane, of the hundreds that fly from the same airport, from all the airports in the country, from all the countries in the world? But of course, planes don't crash every day, they don't even crash every month. So it's even less likely....

Now, I can fly pretty happily (6 this year, 4 long haul).

Some factoids that help me...One pilot has to fly two career's worth of planes before he has any kind of incident. Planes don't care about turbulence or lightning. The force that keeps a plane up is a LAW OF NATURE - it doesn't suddenly stop working, it's a fact of the world, it's how it is. We don't struggle to keep planes flying, the struggle is getting them to land - the buggers want to stay up. Next time you're in a car going fast, wind down the window and stick your hand out - if you tilt your hand down at the front, your hand is forced down - what happens when you tilt it up?

manicinsomniac · 17/09/2013 22:57

I had a very similar experience this Summer - 9 flights in just under a month. The first one I almost cried and the air hostess held my hand during take off

I think you'll find you do get a bit used to it as the number of flights mounts. For me, it's the infrequency of flying that keeps the fear so high.

Refusing to be grounded for life is totally the right decision for you and your family though. I try to remind myself that my fear has absolutely no impact on the very high likelihood that the flight will be absolutely fine and just do it anyway.

I take a lot of valium. I find it isn't enough to knock me out for take off and landing but it takes the worst edge off the panic and usually allows me to sleep for a bit in between.

Mia4 · 17/09/2013 23:01

I use alcohol, sudafed and antihistamines. My close friend used hypnotherapy- not sure how much I'd recommend it but it's worked for her.

Sweetsweep · 17/09/2013 23:06

The plane falling out of the sky.
What is going to help you with this?
Statistics, hand holding, facts and figures, seeing the pilots, what? You tell us.

Ememem84 · 17/09/2013 23:06

I feel terribly on edge when I fly. Very anxious. In the last 2 years I have forced myself to do 8 long haul flights. (2x America and back) and there and back to New Zealand (via Hong Kong) - this one was a total of 28 hours in the air each way. I cried at the airport. Cried on the plane until I fell asleep. But had an amazing time. Only reason I put myself through it is because I want to go on trips, and it would upset husband if we only went places by ferry. I did go to boots and bought some valarian root tablets. They festered and calm. And are safe to have with a wine (or 3...!). I also always take my own blanket. And a hoodie. So I can wrap up and "go inside" if needs be. And slippers. Comforting things. On the nz flight I had a microwave hot water bottle. The hosties were really good and heated it for me.

Sweetsweep · 17/09/2013 23:09

OK. I have children. They are now independent and have started going all over the place. I used to plane track. Now dont bother. Why? Because nothing happened.
They went to airport. Sat in airport. Sometime they were 2 hours late boarding. They boarded. They sat down. They flew. They landed, sometimes 2 hours late. They went to their hotel or whereever. Boring quite frankly. Gave up tracking them, because it was boring. Oh, and then they reversed it all and came home again.

Mosschops30 · 17/09/2013 23:20

I did Paul Mckennas download for fear of flying (about £15 on his website), best money I ever spent. Listening to it every night for 2 weeks and then cured.

Have gone from someone who managed to do one flight a year with alcohol and sedatives, to flying every other weekend and also done long haul too. I love it now

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