to think I shouldn't have to jump through hoops to do this.

[Somerset8]

Ok I am a sahm but I rarely spend money on myself. Dh has hobbies which maybe cost £500 per year plus sky which is mainly for his benefit. I do not mind this. He works hard.
However, I want to purchase a family gym membership. It is great vale at £40 per month as our 4 children are allowed to use some of the facilities.
Dh seems to reluctant to agree and he is making it dependent on me selling some of our baby toys etc.
Aibu to think this is ridiculous.

yanbu at all

ynbu

When you look at your budget can you afford it?

We used to have hobby money when the DCs were much smaller. Agreed sum to spend on whatever in that line of thing, ie not clothes etc.

What does he say when you point out his £500 and that the 4 DCs would benefit too?

DH is being ridiculous, as are you for taking heed. Book your membership and enjoy. And if he further gripes, invoice him for nanny, laundry, cooking, driving and cleaning expenses

I have already decided to go for it. If it comes to it I pay out of an inheritance I received recently. I am just cross that he wasn't enthusiastic about something which will benefit mine and the dcs health. Especially as one of our two dds is a little overweight.

£480/yr is a lot.
It's fine if you will get real value out of it. Most people very much do not, I reckon.

You theoretically shouldn't need to use any inheritance money.

When you say he's reluctant to agree, what does that mean? What have you said to him, and how has he responded? Have you looked at your budget? Can you currently afford it? How short are you if not?

OPs 4 dc can use some of the facilities as well so the membership benefits everyone apart from the DH. I think £40 a month out of 'family money' is fair (if it can be spared of course). If his hobbies and sky TV come out of the family budget, then I don't see why an inheritance should be used.
Enjoy your membership op.

I'm not saying she shouldn't do it. I suspect the husband's hobbies are taking up a disproportionate amount of income. But I suspect they can't afford both which is why he's dragging his heels. So having black and white figures in front of you for how your family income is being divided will help her. There will be a compromise solution where neither has to totally lose out.

£40 a month is nothing really for a gym. People buy a coffee on their way to work and the monthly cost is more than that.

If you can genuinely afford this, why not?

Tell him you'll pay for it out of your child benefit.

Sadly we don't get child benefit anymore. We haven't sat down to see whether our budget will allow it but I am sure with some tweaks it would be doable.
I guess I am really missing child benefit as it was money I could call my own. Although normally it was saved and just used to cover a heavy month.

if she did get child benefits why should she use them to pay?
he spends 500 pounds on his hobby so she should get 500 to spend on something that she wants.
it is not just his money when she is raising 4 of his children.