To speak to the school?

[Orchwoid]

I've just been to collect my son from his school and he's told me that he won't be cast in his school Christmas play but all the other children will.

I am fumming. I am going to go and speak to his teacher first thing tomorrow morning but I am so angry that I can't work out whether I'm being reasonable or not.

I don't really think she should have the option of the Christmas play if she's withdrawn him from worship.

kali if she's going to be bullying and aggressive I sincerely hope not.

Oh God I just googled Fumming...

OP you might also find that if your son's school do class assemblies for parents to watch that he will be excluded from these too.

I feel sorry for the boy! Seven years old ....

Dobbiesmum indeed, Googling for for fumming is interesting.

Which gives a certain piquancy to this thread on Netmums.

Okay! Which one of you feckers is Louise?
Did you send the OP here for our entertainment? You BAD girl!

The bullying in here is awful. She was obviously upset and wanted to let off some steam but how dare she make a spelling mistake! We are all so middle class and intelligent to never make a spelling mistake.

Cut her some slack.

Ewwwww googling fuming is almost as bad as dragon butter - you have been warned!!!!!

Hippo why can't she have it both ways though? As long as we atheist parents are forced to send our children to religious schools in this country, it's absolutely right that we should be able to pick and choose which aspects of religious worship in a school we can live with (making Xmas decorations and singing carols) and which we can't (fervent prayers to Jesus in assembly every morning).

At my DC's primary school, the christmas play was a huge deal and preparations started early in the term. We had nursery with reception, yr 1 & 2, 3 and 4, 5 and 6. The plays would be run over the course of a day for the parents and all the kids would see the dress rehearsals. Significant amounts of school time in the autumn would be spent rehearsing, learning the songs, lines, costumes, staging etc - obviously with changes in emphasis as they got older.

The plays from year 1 up would always be proper plays with proper scripts and always very much looked forward to by children and parents alike.

BUT, the choice of plays was very varied - retelling of fairy tales, plays with a moral message, plays with a specific Christmas theme. So I've seen the Bossy Christmas Fairy, Santa's on Strike, Handsel and Gretel, Sinderella and many more. I think the choice of play had far more to do with the quality of the scripts, length, number of key parts etc than to what degree it reflected a specifically Christmas theme.

Most school assemblies I attended included a prayer addressed to God and no other deity, even though it is not a church school. So I guess if I'd had strong feelings about it (I didn't), I could have excluded my children. Some people did.

My point is that if I HAD excluded my kids from assemblies I would ABSOLUTELY have expected the school to talk to me about inclusion in the Christmas play rather than just assume they weren't to be involved. I'm not sure the OP said it was specifically a nativity did she? Just that it was the Christmas play - just as ours were always referred to as the Christmas plays regardless of the subject matter.

impecunious she can't expect the teachers to read her mind though. If the usual way is to withdraw a child from religious aspects of school life surely they will automatically assume (and most parents will mean) she meant the whole lot unless she specifically says "but I would like him to be in the school play"?

ilovesooty I'd quite like the genuine option to send my child to a secular school in my local area. While that doesn't exist, then the least they can offer is a choice within the school as to what I am and am not comfortable with. I'm pretty outraged at the implication that non-believers have to somehow adhere to a ridiculous 'all or nothing' attitude that is not in keeping with the cultural landscape we exist in. I don't believe in God, but do we have a Xmas tree and sing carols, and even go along to the odd nativity play? Of course we do, because Xmas is a major cultural event in the UK whether you are Christian or not.

It's too flipping early for Christmas Plays! They've only just gone back to school!

I cannot imagine any rational person would expect a child withdrawn for religious observances to be in a Nativity play.

Panto - fair enough. But the Nativity is all about religion FFS.

Sure Dobbies, and that's why I suggested that she just go in and ask politely for him to be put in the Xmas play. I was objecting to the idea lots of people are putting forward that it is somehow wrong and hypocritical for her to even ask for this to happen. It isn't.

Most ordinary state schools don't have fervent prayers to Jesus every morning.
And the OP has communicated in a thoroughly objectionable way
IMO she deserves all the criticism she got

Nope, Morgause, the nativity is a brilliant story that those from all religions or none might wish to participate in.

Ilovesooty - ours does! It's our standard local state school - our catchment school - but religion permeates every aspect of the curriculum, and they certainly do prayers daily, and not just in assembly either. Hopefully most C of E schools are not this crazily observant, but sadly from what I read on here, many of them are.

I agree the OP shouldn't have flown off the handle, and is not exactly helping her case, but some of the stuff on this thread (esp about her spelling) is really objectionable.

If the OP complained to me, I'd cast her son as baby Jesus.

I get you, I do see the Christmas play as being different to other things tbh, I've had to dress up mine as Angels, shepherds, a bookie, trees and various woodland creatures in the past without being particularly concerned about the fact that I personally don't believe in it.
Going in calmly and correcting the teachers would have been the way to go rather than the way the OP seems to be handling it..

Not in my experience in teaching (40 years). I can't remember a single child withdrawn from religious stuff ever taking part in a nativity play - or any parent wanting it.

Why would you even want to go to a Nativity play or sing carols if you're an atheist? Is it because you like a good tune and want to see your kids being cute?

Ilovesooty - yes, that's it exactly!

I'm with Morgause.

The nativity play has to be about the most religious event of the year. How can you want to be a part of it if you want to withdraw your child from all other religious events? Just a little hypocritical to cherry pick.