To speak to the school?

[Orchwoid]

I've just been to collect my son from his school and he's told me that he won't be cast in his school Christmas play but all the other children will.

I am fumming. I am going to go and speak to his teacher first thing tomorrow morning but I am so angry that I can't work out whether I'm being reasonable or not.

If you dont believe in jesus and all that shit ( im not much of a christian but even im offended lol) then why celebrate the birth of christ our saviour? Its kind of a big deal...

Nk49 never deleted your cookies!i have enough trouble remembering mine. I think i would cry if i had yours!

I am very confused. Who are Sharon and Louise?

I don't know what fumming is, but I like the sound of it. Does it involve herbal substances that can be legally grown in the UK? Does it involve a pipe? If so, I am planning to come and fumm along with you. I don't believe in God either, if that is a pre-requisite for fumming.

Love this thread

What a dreadful school, fancy doing exactly what you told them to do!

Worra fucking liberty!

I would be fumming that the school have left it until the middle of September to start preparing for the Christmas play. Surely they should be in dress rehearsals by now?

loving this
i swear this place gets worse :)

It was Louise who told me to come.Hello Louise :-) Which one of these will she be in? She just said try mumsnet because she could see me getting crosser and crosser at pickup.
I am going into the school tommorrow because I still think that this is so rude and they are horrible to not let him be in the play. I asked for no assemblies but this is different its like a whole term hes not allowed in. I expected this to be different because Mums are all supposed to stick otgether and stuff but this is like bitchs attacking everyone.

I asked for no assemblies but this is different

Why?

Actually Christmas was Yuletide in Britian. Nothing about god and shit but just thank fuck the sun is coming back.

Put him in the play or they are discriminating against er pagans early Britian's etc tec

Not all Xmas plays are centred around religion and I think that if the OPs understanding of the situation is correct, which hopefully it is not, that the school are losing sight of the fact that a 7yr old child is involved. Hopefully the OP will be discussing this calmly with the school tomorrow. And Orchwoid I do think that lots of mumsnetters have been meaner than they needed to be and that they too lost sight of the young child involved.

orchwoid
As an atheist I would advise you to maybe reverse your position of withdrawing him from all collective worship for an easier life all round - all kids reach a certain age where they begin to question things...the tooth fairy, Father Christmas and often then Jesus/God etc .....by exposing him to it, you simply allow him to make up his own mind in due course and knowledge of the bible whether you believe in it or not is part of our culture and useful when studying literature, history etc etc.

Orchwoid,
The reason you are getting such a hard time, is because you are contradicting yourself.

1. You do not want your child exposed to religious education
2. You are upset when he is excluded from something which is religious education

The school is respecting your wishes, and you are upset because they are respecting your wishes.

Christmas plays are usually totally religious, probably more so than anything done in assembly at any time during the year.

Please don't go in and shout at the school, who are doing EXACTLY as YOU asked them to.
I feel really sorry for the teachers who have to deal with you tomorrow, you are being very very unfair to them.

Oh I hope Orchwoid's DS goes to my school!
I'm going to wait at the gate in the morning and watch for a fumming mother!
What do you think the outward symptoms of fumming might be? Just so I know what to look out for?

FWIW I agree with you, OP. I'd probably have a word and sort it out quietly, rather than 'fumm' (it's fuming, not fumming).

I withdrew myself from assembly as a child - got the grownups to write me a letter. There's a big difference between objecting to weekly religious ritual etc., priestly banging on, and the school nativity play, which is cultural as well as religious, and a nice bit of cute fun.

I'm sure if you explain that you want him involved they'll accommodate you. Surely that's the Christian way?!

Although i agree some posts have been a bit mean, you've gotten a hard time because people think you are being really unreasonable.
You asked for peoples opinions and now youre upset because nearly everyone doesnt agree with you.people wont always agree it doesnt make us all bitches.

Not a wind up, have a look at OP's other posts. This charming lady invited a disabled relative to a wedding who required a carer and didn't feed the carer. souredstones I think you and I might have quite different approaches to life and therefore would shy away from commenting, but think that you have answered your own question when you state that you don't want your child to be involved in the life of the school, including assemblies and all that God shit (or whatever) no room to bitch about him not being involved in the nativity play. If you're that bothered about it why not get up off your arse and set up an atheist free school? Plus point is as they are all parent led you can cast him in the leading role for every school play you decide to put on...

Apologies have realised am confusing the OP with another who has posted stuff and inappropriately referenced it here. Latter point of my post still stands though...

OP, I have only skimmed this thread, but can I just ask why do you send your DS to a religious school ?

It's clear you're not religious yourself, so why send your DC to a school which is religious then whinge about them ?

They did this to me at university.

It's was a small course and one lecturer orgnanised and cast a play for everyone except me.

I didn't care as in I didn't want to do it anyway, but it's hurtful to be publicly left out

And then, on the day of the play, I couldn't get out of going to watch it, and people kept saying to 'why aren't you in the play? Why aren't you in the play?' I wanted to die.

He doesn't go to assemblys because I don't want them to teach him about religion or make him be forced to pray or sing any religion songs. But I never said he dcouldn'tt be in the Christmas play because that is a really important part of the school year in my head. I am still fumming that they didn't ask me first and just told him. It is so rude.

CHRISTmas is about CHRIST! A very definite religious event. You have stated you do not want him to take part in religious activities. You now want to cherry pick which religious activities he takes part in.

It is not at all bitchy to point that out to you, just explaining that it is your decision, not the schools decision that has made him be left out.

wow...
better put my flame-retardant knickers on

in my family, we don't celebrate christmas. we celebrate the winter solstice, which christmas was based on. (we also celebrate summer solstice, and the two equinoxes as well)

I intend (after I persuade their father to talk sensibly to me about it, where he may change my mind) withdrawing my children from the "christian based worship" which assemblies are supposed to be about, as we are NOT christian.

However, I have no objection to them learning about religions, just being made to worship any god by default.

I won't object to my children being in a nativity play, any more than I would object to them taking part in a replica sedar meal for passover, or any LEARNING activity about any religion (except anything harmful to them, which I can't see a school doing anyway). I would object to them being told "this is what's true" about the beliefs involved. I would talk to my children afterwards to make sure they understood that it was just what some people believe.

I accept that the winter break is called the "christmas holidays" and thus the play most schools put on then is called the "christmas play" - while we aren't christian the fact is that all the countries which make up the UK are culturally christianity-based.

My kid just started his new school
And they just think that I'm a fool
I'm fumming and I want a fight
I've never heard such a load of shite
First day, I sent him with a note
To say God and Jesus get my goat
And he's not allowed to be
In assembly or RE
Seems they're not right in the head
Cos they've only gone and said
That he's not in the nativity
That sounds like fucking arse to me
I'm going up school let then know
My boy deserves a part and so
He'd better get a leading role
Or so help me god I'll kick her hole
I hope it doesn't come to blows
But the ignorant cow does need to know
It's the Christmas play, so what has it
to do with God and all that shit?

Orchwoid - the mums are "sticking together", but it would seem we are sticking together to try and help you see how unreasonable your behaviour is. Givens that the huge majority of the posters on this thread think that your anger and frustration is unwarranted, the sensible thing to do would be to take that on board, and consider how you speak to the school.

I'm sure that all you need to do is speak to his teacher about it and it will all be sorted. They are not being "rude" or "horrible", they are simply following your instructions.

Go in, be pleasant and think a bit more carefully next time about what yu actually mean before you make decisions about withdrawing your child from parts of the school day.

Orchwoid I think you started off on the wrong footing by being rude about religion ..."and all that shit". I don't care whether you are Jewish, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness, atheist, pagan, humanist, a witch or whatever, I wouldn't be rude and disrespectful of your beliefs, nor should you be rude and disrespectful of other people's beliefs.

You appear very narrow minded and not open to other views. By withdrawing your child from assembly you are giving the school the message that your child must be withdrawn from everything Christian, including Christian festivals.

You need to calmly talk to the teacher and ask why your son isn't in the play. Don't get angry as it won't achieve anything and you will just become known as a troublesome parent.

If it is a traditional nativity play how will you feel about your son being in it? How will you feel about watching it if you think it is a load of tripe?