to be eating Vienetta whilst the little ones hoover and should dd1 be made to call dd2 Charlie?

[TrinityRhino]

They have hurt each other because they are grumpy at having to do some hoovering.
They are hoovering their room and the upstairs hallway.
I've had enough of trying to make them be nice to each other so when they came in whining and crying because

'she hurt me and she hurt me too '

I said, 'off you go, go and finish your job, I'm not interested/

cue louder whaling and indignant crying

they have shut up now and I can hear the hoover

they may well be still arguing but the hoover is drowning it out

this vienetta is nice

AND
dd1 (13) has never ever called her charlie (8), she calls her her full name and I do not understand why
they don't have a good relationship, shall I make her call her charlie to help their relationship or is that just stupid?

Definitely YANBU on the hoovering.

DSis and I have same age gap and didn't really get on til I left for uni (sorry Trin). Very close now though.

Is it a Vienetta and vodka sandwich because that made very little sense?

no cause I dont drink alcohol

I'm sorry the end bit is a bit crappy

dd1 is 13
she always has called dd2 who is 8, charlie

charlie doesn't want to be called by her full name, everyone calls her charlie except dd1

shall I make dd1 call her charlie in the vain hope it may help their relationship

you can tell I'm desperate

enjoy your vienetta.

the children should call each other by the child's chosen name so if she wants to be called charlie then the other one should do it.

13 is a bit old to he hurting an 8 year old so stamp on that.

kids do argue though and it's normal. send to their rooms if needed.

no no no they 13 year old is not doing any of the hoovering or hurting

the 8 year old and my youngest who is 6 are doing the hoovering

dd1 (13) is currently passed out on the sofa poorly

unfortunately the two that are arguing and hurting each other share a tiny room

ugh its normal to want to hide in the cupboard with chocolate sometimes isn't it?

Let me see if I can make sense of this:

DC 2&3 are hoovering because they've been naughty/whinging/etc?
YANBU

DD1 calls DD2 by her full name rather than the name she prefers, they have a poor relationship anyway?
Tough one, trying to force DD1 to use the preferred name may well be counter-productive, at least she's using a polite name. Maybe try talking to her about it? Attempting to enforce the preferred name could just build up resentment/lead to accusations of favouritism/play into hormonal strops depending on temperament and/or hormones.

YANBU about vienatta and yes, it is normal to want to hide and have chocolate sometimes.

thanks Andro

yes I'm not sure if it will help or make things worse

lol I think you all need more chocolate as your post is a bit, hmmm, differently logical.

You cant make DD1 like her sister by interfering in what she calls her. Be grateful it's not poo-head. She will despise anyone who is not part of her cool gang any day now, your attempts are doomed until she is 18 when she will suddenly grow up and chortle with you at DD2's comic attempts at teenage cool.

dd1 isn't like that
she doesn't have a cool gang
she has a few close friends that all just want to get their head down and work but too many trouble makers at school make that hard
we are close and if I ask her to call her charlie she will but I'm not sure if it will help

she doesn't understand why people do 'selfies' or anything like that
she doesn't want to be in the 'popular' group because they are mainly mean and sheep

well... but she is only 13..it may be coming..but I was being flippant.

I still think that focussing on the name might provoke the wrong response. Is there something they can do together- riding, perhaps? sailing? that they could have as a shared interest?

they would both LOVE to have riding lessons but we have no money for that

I have read 6 tmes and still don't understand lol

I'm sorry

two seperate issues

AIBU to eat ice cream whilst my 6 and 8 year olds hoover?

AND

should I make my dd1 who is 13 call my dd2 who is 8 by her preffered nickname instead of her full name?

the hoovering has now been done and in the end they were very good helping each other and working together and then they asked to walk the dog together

Aw they sound cute together

Eating chocolate in secret is a mothers privilege, only way to get through the day

YABU for reminding me about how tasty Vienetta is. I want some now.

I'm sorry but vienetta is lush

the little bits of chocolate through it just makes it wonderful

I have the mint one, the best one

it was reduced to 59p in tesco

Hope you enjoyed the vienetta.

I wouldn't try to force the name issue, unless DD1 starts to do it willingly it won't improve their closeness, it might be worth asking her why she uses the full name in a casual way but if you try to lay down the law I think it would only breed resentment in DD1.

yrbu to not drink alcohol though,

oh no er yes and ahhhh bless them.

This thread is funny. I think it is the image that "they are whaling" brought to my head. Thought that was banned, and those harpoons could be deadly. I know it isn't meant to be funny, but sorry, I am laughing.

Not sure that making DD1 use DD2's nickname will make any difference to their relationship.

DD2 and 3 sound cute.

Contact the british equestrian foundation, they have handed out loads of grants to allow riding schools to offer subsidised lessons as part of the Olympic legacy, they ought to be able to give you a llst of places near you that offer some help.

thank you for that tip

but it looks like its just in london