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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving away dd clothes.

14 replies

mehimandthegirls · 17/09/2013 14:56

Dp asked me last night if I would get some of dd2 'old' clothes together as there is a lady with a granddaughter being born and apparently she has nothing.

I honestly do not mind getting them and letting her have them. I would never begrudge a baby anything if I have it.

But I don't know them from Adam and who ever it is could actually put them up on those stupid frigging sale or swop sites on Facebook.

I gave loads to the early baby unit last month as Dd2 was a big baby and never even had new born clothes on and was loosely planning to do similar with these. I excessively bought baby clothes, some still new!

What would u do?

OP posts:
Beamur · 17/09/2013 15:00

I've passed on quite a lot of my DD's clothes to one of my Mums colleagues who has a DIL & DS who are pretty hard up for their daughter. No that much different to giving to a charity shop. To say thanks the colleague has given me the odd item she has knitted for DD which was lovely.
You could always split the clothes you have and give some to each?

oscarwilde · 17/09/2013 15:22

Horrid isn't it. You want to do something nice and in the back of your mind there's a little voice wondering if you will be taken for a mug.

I'd give a few bits and pieces and get your DP to find out what sort of response she has had before offering anything else.

CoffeeTea103 · 17/09/2013 15:22

Your DH seems to know her so shouldn't that be enough. If you have clothes to give away, just give it to her. She may really desperately need it.

tywysogesgymraeg · 17/09/2013 15:27

Put a few things together - enough so that you don't look mean, and go with DH to deliver them - find some excuse though.
How does DH know this woman? And that she's hard up?

Ragwort · 17/09/2013 15:30

But surely your DH knows this woman and your daughter is just as much his daughter as well as your's (IYSWIM - badly phrased Grin - you do not have a 'monopoly' on what happens to the clothes).

If my DH said this to me I would assume that the clothes were for someone who really needed them and happily pass them on - yes, there is a small chance that your kindness might be abused but at least you will have done the right thing Smile.

lljkk · 17/09/2013 15:44

Think of it as a way to give pleasure to your DD.
But ask tactfully. Some people find it insulting to be offered 2nd hand clothes.

pixiepotter · 17/09/2013 16:09

There are so many good quality baby clothes about (since they are in each size for such a short time) that they are virtually valueless, you can hardly give them away!

HavantGuard · 17/09/2013 16:13

This isn't even the mother asking though. It's the grandmother. It could be that the parents deliberately haven't bought much yet.

StinkyElfCheese · 17/09/2013 16:16

I offered loads of my twins babies things on freecycle - clothes cot bedding / bouncy chairs the lot. I could have sold it for a fair bit but I knew how had it was having twins, we were offered lots of lovley things and I wanted to 'pay it forward'

I had lots of replies in the end we choose a lady who's daughter was due to have twins very soon and had absolutely nothing ready didn't notice she was pregnant until 5 months no money etc....

saw the lady selling, all our lovley things at the car boot sale that sunday, with her daughter... who was around a size six ...... I went home and cried that I had ben taken for such a mug.

Anything else I have that has been outgrown goes straight to the womans shelter now.

Ragwort · 17/09/2013 16:24

Stinky - that is really sad, weren't you tempted to approach the woman who was selling the clothes? Or at least make it clear that you could see what she was doing. Sad.

Original poster
mehimandthegirls · 17/09/2013 16:37

omg! stinkySad that's awful !

I've put a bag together with essentials in but the rest i'm going to take to the local womans shelter, good idea stinky .

Ive put the first suit DD2 wore in the draw next to DD1s, its 18 years old lol

How would I find the womans shelter?

OP posts:
oscarwilde · 18/09/2013 16:23

Google Womens Aid+your town and you should get contact details to email.

StinkyElfCheese · 18/09/2013 17:55

I did say a few 'choice' words to her - she just told me to fuck off ....

I actually asked in the local surestart centre about woman shelters and between them and the visiting HV they came up with a telephone number for me , all outgrown clothes toys bikes / scooters and general stuff I phone and offer to them 9/10 that will bite my hand off.

Some of the brave woman walk away with just the clothes on their backs , I had a lovely note past on when I donated my twins outgrown first beds -

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 18/09/2013 19:15

I have had the same with freecycle, gave away a pram only to see it on our local baby buy and sell facebook page. I had great delight posting a comment in response to her post.

I am now suspicious of everyone, which is a shame because there are genuine people out there.

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