AIBU FOR BEING ANNOYED OR IS DH BEING A PAIN

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More of a mini rant than anything,

I have 2 jobs 1 I commute for and 1 thats 1 day a week working from home job.
dh has announced that I should look into doing an extra 1.5 hrs a week in the job i commute to, he said we should ask mil to mind ds from 6 when creche closes untill one of us picks him up.

In commute job, I currently do a 19 hour week over 3 days, I lose 3 hours a week commuting and have done for the last 5-6 years. by staying untill 5 I would gain the 1.5 hrs work, but would miss the creche closing.

Work altered my official start time to 9.30 and end time is 4.30 to facilitate the commute when I moved house, the commute is 40 miles, back roads and is nearly an hour and a quater, Creche starts at 8, this creche is 5 miles from my home, which isnt perfect for the commute but is for my work at home day, during the winter the commute is slightly longer due to road conditions, Creche fine you if you are late so I am never late at pick up, the hours at work really suit me to get too and from creche on time every day,

why I am annoyed is that we have been using creche for our dc for the last 6ish years, dh is not bio father to dd1, but is to ds, now mil is competing for gp of the year award and wants to be seen to do childcare for us like her in laws are doing for their dgc, dh thinks we should jump at the opportunity to ask her to do pick up and I sould ask to increase my hours to finish at 5 like everyone else,
my major problems in doing this are:
1 dmil could have offered this when I had to cut my hours back 6 years ago, and NB she still hasnt offered, but has asked to take ds out of creche one day a month or so to bring him around and show him off - we have had to remind her to pick up dd at the same time each time she has rang to ask us if it would be ok.

2 work have been VVVV facilitating and I dont want to rearrange my hours again only to ask to leave early if dmil cant do the pick up which is a very large possibility,

3 the 4.30 finish means I avoid city traffic, get out to back roads fast and get home fast,

4 leaving at 5 means hitting carnage out of the industrial area, and my commute would take 2 hours, as i would spend first 30-45 mins driving the first 5 miles.

AIBU to be annoyed at dhs suggestion, the 1.5 hours would hardly be worth anything as although I am on a decentish salary, I have to pay union, pension etc, on top of tax, so I am thinking for my 1.5 hours I would only end up with £10-15 which would be swallowed up sitting in traffic, dh is being a pain in my side recently as worried about his own job, but if anything happened that, then I know I could go back full time at work and not have to worry at all about creche as dh would be doing daddy daycare,

Seems like too much shuffling around all for the sake of 1.5hrs YANBU

YANBU. Don't do it. It may well turn out that the novelty may wear off for your mil.

YANBU.
No point in getting home later,changing work arrangements and increasing the number of "handovers" just to enable a third party to be involved.

Fwiw, with a mil question I substitute mil for dm when reading to check whether situation seems reasonable or whether it's a dil/ mil issue.

Absolutely pointless for 1.5 hours, yanbu

Agree, don't do this, doesn't seem to have any benefits at all bar MIL enjoying some time with her grandson but loads of downsides for you. Can't MIL do Granny stuff some other time?

Just say no.

Yes, surely mil can take the DCs at another time.

Not worth it,

Ask him to do the test run of the extra rush hour commute both ways at the time you would be doing it, and report back, and see if it worth an extra £15 and missing out on family time.

and ask MiL to come and do an over night at yours once in a while and go away for a day might day, together without the children, she will feel needed, you both get a break and no silly extra nonsense need happen.

night. humbug.

thanks for all the replies, I have told dh no, but he thought i was being unreasonable to not think about it, dmill sees dc every week when she calls to visit, dh isnt too keen on going to dmils as last time ds broke some of her lovely ornaments and she was not too impressed, so I dont know why he thinks its a good idea for her to pick kids up 3 days a week, sure all my wages would be gone in replacing her breakables lol

Sounds like there are no positives to you doing this, so why put yourselves through the upheaval? You could have problems when mil is unwell, her car is off the road or she does not want to drive to creche in bad weather, or gets fedup of doing it, or wants to do other things, holidays etc. Etc.

YANBU. You'd be doing it for the sake of a quiet life, to get DH off your back, and that's not a good enough reason.

Sounds like its the mil pushing this with dh! Therefore dh having a go!! Stick to your guns op. remember no is a full answer!

no no no no no no no no no no

Good point lunaticfringe she could just pick up the DCs. Doesn't mean you have to stay at work for the extra time.
Then she would be less "tied" to the arrangement. Maybe once a week she could take them out or cake or something.