to feel worried about being judged?

[airyfairy1978]

I'm hosting a coffee morning & have invited some school mums. I have been to a one or two of their houses before but don't know them that well. We live in an affluent area, but we're definitely not!
Whilst most of these other mums enjoy successful careers and own lovely big houses, we missed the boat on buying property & are stuck in the renting trap. Although clean(ish) and homely, our house is tiny and shabby.
So, those MNers who have more, would you feel judgey pants about going for coffee at someone's house who hasn't reached the dizzying middle-class milestones I'm clearly so hung up on?

Makes no difference to me if someone owns their house or not.
Well there be cake at this coffee morning?if so, I think you will be fine.

The only think I judge is the quality of the cup mug of tea offered.

If they judge you because of your home they are not worth your time and effort anyway.

Of course they'll judge. But only if you carry on like this...you're setting yourself up for a fall. We have a monstrous house in Geneva. Fuck off huge. My own teeny little house here, is about at standard as you can get. Were my friends from Geneva to visit this place, and I'd made bugger all effort, yes there would undoubtedly be some glances, and sod anyone who pretends there won't be, it's common human nature. Especially amongst women of a certain social standing. On the other hand, if I had fresh coffee on for their arrival (love that smell), some gorgeous fresh cut flowers strategically placed, a cake stand with some vair vair pretty cakes on, and the place looking spick and span? They'd think what a lovely house.

As long as what you do is simple but effective (don't want it to reek of effort) they will walk away thinking, what a lovely home. Cottages can look just as gorgeous as mansions.

Oh, and on the rented thing...makes no difference at all, neighbours to both sides in Geneva, who's houses are ridonculous in size, both rent.

I would definitely judge you if you didn't have some cake and I didnt' have somewhere to sit. Other than that - meh!

Oh and if you tried to give me tea in a tiny tea cup.... I like a big mug of tea thank you very much!

I really wouldn't worry.

I am part of a group of 7 mums, 4 of us have large 5 bed homes, 2 have 3 bed semis and the latest friend in lives in a social housing new house locally. As one with a large house, I don't care about other people's houses as long as I have somewhere to sit and it is basically clean.

The lady who lives in social housing has never invited anyone to her house and I know feels paranoid about it. In actual fact it is a lovely house that she has done beautifully but she's paranoid it's on the 'new' estate and thinks it matters. It really doesn't matter at all .

YANBU to be worried about being judged but YABU to think people will actually judge you.

New social housing-what a luxury these days!
Oh, and we also have crappy odd bits of hand-me-down furniture...this kind of stuff doesn't matter much to me but I know it does to some. Unfortunately, I care too much about other peoples' opinions

long as it clean, i would batter an eyelid..

id judge on the coffee though