evening work as a single parent

[ghostspirit]

would it be unreasonable to look for evening/night work. i have 4 children 16,11,6 and 3 years. i was thinking about looking for night work and for my daughter who is 16 to look after her siblings they would be in bed, but the 6 and 11 year old would not be asleep. but i'm just not sure if it would be fair on her to do it, if its safe for her to be alone at night with children. And i'm not sure if i want to be traveling in the night on my own. My instincts are telling me it would not be a good thing to do. Just wondering what people take on this would be

Assuming she's a sensible 16 year old she should be fine. However, like you I would worry that it wouldnt be fair on her and she would end up resenting the situation. At 16 I was out with friends fairly often in the evenings. And would have hated my mum saying I had to stay in and look after siblings.

I am a massive fan of not putting the responsibility of caring for children on other children BUT at 16 I would imagine she is responsible enough - you could pay her if you can afford to. I had been working for a while by this age.

Only you know if its a good idea I suppose

Hi Ghost. It's hard one really. I mean people do what they have to do so it's not for me to say yay or nay as I know nothing of your circumstances. Also you know your 16 year old better than anyone so only you know if she is mature enough to be responsible in looking after her siblings. If your D.D is happy to help and it works for you then as far as I'm concerned that's fine. Do what works for your family. However I do need to say this. How may evenings a week would it be because some evenings she may want to go out with her friends ect. xx

What does your daughter do in the evenings? Sports / Hobbies / DoE / go out with friends?

At 16 I think I had one evening a week at school orchestra practice, one evening a week at part-time job and one evening out with my friends; possibly occasional babysitting for money.

Are you thinking of five nights a week work? If it would mean your daughter had to stop school activities or give up a part-time job I think that would be quite unfair. If it's only one or two nights a week that would seem more reasonable.

Have you discussed it with her?

At 16 I was working part time myself and had been babysitting for non family for several years!
Obviously you know your daughter and weather she is mature and responsible to do it but assuming she is, it shouldn't be a problem.

I do agree with pp, will she want to? 16 can be a very social able age, and the thought of babysitting her siblings may be her idea of hell! But again, depends on what she is like.

yes the fact that she is 16 means she wants to be doing her own thing and im not sure if its right to put that on to her. at the moment she is at college and soon she will make more friends and want to go out and things. im not sure its right for me to take that choice away from her as we are along time being adults and i think maybe this is her last stint before she starts being more responsible... hope that makes sence. Then again if it was only a couple of times a week it may not be so bad

I think its unfair on her. This is the last bit of time left before she has her own responsibilities and it would be cruel to take that away. Once every so often seems fair but several times a week every week is too much.