to wonder why anyone would ask strangers on a forum to validate/suggest name choices for their child

[nonmifairidere]

Really, why would you refer to anyone else, it's so personal.

Some people like a second, independant and unbiased opinion.
Personnally, I'd hate it if I chose a name that other people laughed at/hated/knew of some hidden meaning etc

When I had my two kids, I really liked to get a complete stranger's first impression of it. You can't rely upon a friend to be honest with you for the very reason that it's so personal.

I think it's only get gage people's opinions. It doesn't mean you have to go with what they say. You can take it with a pinch of salt. I've come across some beautiful suggestions of names on forums - ones I wouldn't have come across in say a baby book.

I used to look at the end of film credits for suggestions.

I've finished with naming (except dogs and cats) and have hidden the Baby Names bit as it was driving me bonkers. Never found a judgier bunch!

Having said, I did run my shortlist past a few people, both family and not so close friends, asking if any of them caused the sniggers etc, and crossed off two or three as a result.

I agree, it's slightly mad. But then people in this country seem terribly tentative about the class connotations of names, and get very exercised about whether they might get their child teased in the playground.

Essentially, it's as if the baby names forum is an online playground where they can try out names in advance for teasing and 'chavvy'* potential.

There's also the (to me) baffling phenomenon of the 'try hard' name. I'm not sure I never stand this accusation. It seems to hinge on 'trying to be something you're not', but i don't see how strangers on an Internet forum can judge thus...?

*Not my choice of word.

I would have thought it was a great place to get an opinion - anonymous, objective with a wide range of experience.

The name you like might be shortened in a way you hadn't thought of, or the same as a dubious celebrity, or becoming really popular, etc. But if you really like the name anyway, it shouldn't make a difference.

Larry, I suspect the 'try hard' factor is an element. My choice would be restricted to echoing names of those I love in my life and I would hope to be guided by simplicity and lack of affectation. Plus, I can make up my own, because I know it. And now I sound like
Princess Prissypants (might suggest that one on 'Baby Names').

Because some people can be really bitchy and closed minded about other people's name choices, and it might be useful in a way to get the lowdown on what people are really thinking.

Correction -'my own mind, because I know I.'

I think people also ask as they get fixated on a name. Sometimes they can't use the name (vetoed by partner, best friend or sibling used it), so want suggestions of similar names.

I would want to know if a name I had chosen had unfortunate connotations.

I don't understand this either. I felt it was private between my DH and i when we were choosing baby names. I prefer straightforward, normal names and pretty much detest all the names which are suggested on the baby name board.

Thank you for all your thoughts. I guess I just do not care too much what others think about me and my choices; but, of course, we are all very different (and so we should be).

I agree OP

I can sort of understand asking for suggestions if you are struggling for ideas/have a theme in mind, but once you have decided on a name I wouldn't dream of posting to get opinions. Each to their own..

Whatever name you pick some people will like it and some will love it, that's the way it goes, but normally people are polite and just get on with it in RL, but on here people don't hold back do they...why put yourself through it.

We are keeping our future baby names secret from almost everyone in RL as don't want people's opinions, and have a lot of family that will think we want their validation

I think they are just wondering what people think about a name they are waiting on a baby just pondering and want to chat about it online I really don't think parents chose names by what strangers think, but i do hate when people are nasty about babynames Oh you dont want to call baby That what about Olivia or grace a much nicer name

FWIW nowt wrong with Olivia or Grace

It's helpful to get other people's opinions if you don't want to talk about it with family/friends. Also the complete stranger factor means you get a reaction to just the name, which is what teachers, doctors, potential employers etc are going to see.

Also I love a name that's in the Euphemia/Iphigenia/Eulalia realm of old lady/classical-try-hard. Its been used in my family before, DH loves it, I think it's beautiful so no issues there but I'm aware that if someone introduces themselves as Euphemia or Iphigenia they may well get faces, polite 'that's unusual' or genuine interest. What I'd like to know is (across the population as represented by MN) what my DD would be mostly greeted by! And also whether people would have the faintest clue how to pronounce it.

So it has its uses!

Plus I personally love talking about names and sounds, the meanings of names etc.

You could always name change and go on the topic, and ask what people thought of a name, that you have already called a child, it would be a good way of judging if the responses are valid to you.

I can't imagine caring about someone else's opinion on my choices.

I only tend to comment on the name thing when I see them pop up in 'active" , usually if the OP has asked for a choice between a few names, or if they are looking for suggestions, or if it is a name I like, or know someone with,

the Hendrix thread, was interesting as so many people disliked it, I felt for the OP, as I know a few and it never seems odd in anyway, they love their names and it done them well.

I tend not to comment on the ones where I hate the name (if there is going to be about a dozen of the same name in the child's class), I suspect people desist from comment when it is going to be entirely negative, so the results may always be skew-whiff.

Why not? People talk about many other personal things - their relationships, sex life, child's behaviour, intimate parts of their anatomy, mental health problems - I would say getting a bit of feedback on names for you child is a lot less personal than many things people discuss on forums.

Names are fascinating, and people's attitudes to them are fascinating. It's the least private part of anyone's persona and it's the only thing that absolutely every other person you come into contact with knows about you.

Other cultures' attitudes and conventions to naming are also fascinating. It's a great subject for discussion, whether on t'internet or elsewhere.

I have an unusual name. I have had every reaction imaginable to it - doctor's receptionist said the other day "Every time I see your name I want to say it out loud it's so pretty". On MN I've been told it's "chavvy" and "pikey" and in RL I've had someone laugh out loud and say "You've made that up - what a ridiculous name".

I think it's good to road-test a name on a bunch of strangers before you give it to your DC - after all, that's what will happen for the rest of their lives. Whatever the reaction, you don't have to live by it, but you will have a fairly good idea of the responses in RL when you announce it.

As to try-hard - I don't understand what that means.

I think try-hard names are Calliope etc. A transparent attempt at originality rather than a "nice" name.

I think it's really useful when naming your first child because you might inadvertently pick something really popular. Lots of people assume that names which were unusual in their generation are still rare. Which is fine if you don't care how popular a name is, but if you think you've picked something unique and they turn out to be one of 5 in their class, you might just regret it.

I like a try-hard name now and again, the world is full to bursting with Jack and Olivias, nice to see someone go a bit left field. Plus I think the idea of being a 'try hard' is very British, it's like being told not get 'ideas above your station'.

I don't really get it when people post and then seem shocked anyone might dislike their choice.

But loads of people just want to know what meanings a name has, or which names sound nicest together, and that's something where it's good to get a second opinion IMO.