Obsessing over Mil Issues

[Mmolly2013]

I have had many issues over the years with mil and sil. I Can not stand the two of them they have caused me a lot of grief and heartache over the years. My partner and I have been together a long time but we are still young so no marriage or babies yet, but we r perfect together so both agree we will head that way.

The issue is I am now at the stage where I only ever go near them if i truly have to ie partners bday. They even pick and choose when to treat him nice and it hurts me the way they treat ppl and i have somehow built up a lot of resentment and bitterness.

The mil is also obsessed with knowing all my business via any means possible ie adding ppl on fb who are my friends of which they decline and also quizzing my partner etc. He never tells them a thing which i think annoys them even more. I now have a complex about hiding every little detail about me so they don't know any of my business.

Im basically driving myself insane. How can I just forget about them and not care.

Sorry didn't realise how long that was

I am in a similar situation to you with my in laws. I absolutely understand and would love to say that I have an answer. It is so difficult though. Good luck!

You are giving people who are making your life miserable a lot of power over you. Your partner seems supportive by him not telling them anything about you.
If that's how your mil and SIL are then you can't do anything to change that, you can only change your reaction to them. Live your life as you normally would, you shouldn't hide anything. What is it you don't want them doing when they find out info about you?

The toxic in laws book is quite good at helping change perspective. Wish I'd read it years ago. Also when they annoy you, roll your eyes to yourself and think "here they go again". Don't let it spoil your relationship.

THanks for the replies. I think its because I dont want to give her the satisfaction of knowing my business because in the past she has went too far ie stealing partners phobe to read my texts etc but lucky he knows her too well and deletes every message I send. Its so unfair we have to live like this until me move intogether in the new year.

Life is too short. I say it over and over on these threads- cut the dead wood free. Don't suffer mil; estrange, estrange, estrange. If she pisses you off then just call it a day. The crucial part is to let dP decide how to play it. Don't ever try to come between him and mum, that would be wrong. But for yourself, take no prisoners. Don't give her any more time or thought.

Block the nosy cunts on fb and don't engage with them at all.

They have been long removed