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AIBU?

to be irritated that this is a big deal?

65 replies

shelldockley · 16/09/2013 10:38

My name is shell dockley, I am 34 and I do not drink tea or coffee. There, I've said it, is that a big deal? No, I don't think so, only for some reason my best friend always makes it one! Every single time I see her, whether it's at her house, mine, or out for lunch/shopping/day out, it gets mentionned, EVERY SINGLE TIME!
It is not an issue anywhere or with anyone else, they know I don't drink them, they offer me something I do drink, that's that. It irritates me that she makes a big deal out of it, but I can never say anything, in case that is seen as me making a big deal out of it, ha ha!

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Chattymummyhere · 16/09/2013 11:07

My dh always says to me "one day you will become a proper adult and drink tea and coffee" it's a running joke I hate the taste so bad I cannot kiss him for a good 30minutes are drinking coffee..

Wine
Fizzy pop
Juice not orange though
Hot chocolate
Water

All good options for me

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McNewPants2013 · 16/09/2013 11:08

What is so wrong with water. It's free has, no calories, glasses are easy to wash, hydrates the body, helps improve your skin, helps you think better and makes you more energetic.

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shelldockley · 16/09/2013 11:14

Hec I can't say anything now, it's too far gone!

MrsGSR, you have it worse than me if your own Dad doesn't remember!

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DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 16/09/2013 11:15

I dont drink either and yes people react to this "alarming" news like I've told them I quite fancy Nick Griffin (I dont really btw, just want to point that out before anyone jumps on me).

I dont see the big deal. I hate red wine too (white is ok). meh.

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MurderOfGoths · 16/09/2013 11:23

My dad still offers me tea and coffee. He's only known me my whole life, you'd think he'd have learnt by now wouldn't you?

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JohnnyFontaneCannaeSing · 16/09/2013 11:27

it's funny because its not a big deal but it also really annoys me too when someone doesn't drink tea or coffee. When they come to my house and say I'll just have a glass of water I actually want to throw said glass over them!! I just find it really anti social ! Don't know why it just really irks me. I do however recognise this is my failing at not the non tea/coffee drinker!!! Blush

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JaxTellerIsAllMine · 16/09/2013 11:27

I know lots of people who dont drink tea/coffee - Im not shocked by it. I'd just offer you something else. soft drink, hot choc, herbal - but then I do have a cupboard dedicated to hot/cold drinks.

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Sparklyblue · 16/09/2013 11:32

I don't drink tea or coffee either. People think I am very strange.
I also don't like hot chocolate or any other hot drink and I don't like wine Grin

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Primrose123 · 16/09/2013 11:36

I don't like tea, coffee or any alcoholic drinks. I've tried loads, don't like any of them, and am fed up of having to explain this to people.

I like a hot chocolate or a soft drink.

I don't like chocolate itself much though, and rarely eat it.

I love savoury things, cheese, bread, crisps - mmm Wink

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Doodledumdums · 16/09/2013 11:38

I don't drink tea or coffee either! Or wine or beer...or alcohol in general really.

My MIL literally can't get her head around it and when we're at her house she asks what I want to drink and I always ask for water (as that is all she has that I will drink- really not a problem!)- which causes her to launch into some weird fake shock EVERY SINGLE TIME. 'What?! Just water? Really? But why?!' BECAUSE I HAVE TOLD YOU TEN MILLION TIMES THAT I DON'T DRINK HOT DRINKS OR ALCOHOL AND THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE! I really don't mind drinking water, but seeing as I have known her for five years and we see her every week, I don't think it would hurt her to just keep a bottle of squash in for me to drink, but if she doesn't want to do that then the very least i'd like would be for her to just not create a fuss every time I ask for water please!

Sorry, rant over!

YANBU!!

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shelldockley · 16/09/2013 11:48

There seem to be lots of us, so how come people still find it so strange!

Doodle it sounds like your MIL is doing that to show you up or something, not that it's anything to be ashamed of!!

As a pp said, some people seem to look at it as something you have to drink to be a 'real adult'. That's the impression I get off bf. I think the ability to make my own decisions about my own taste is more 'adult' than what I drink!

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LaBelleMadamePingouinSansMerci · 16/09/2013 11:54

I don't drink tea or coffee either, no one's ever seemed shocked by it, though people sometimes look at me as if they think I'm a bit odd, my mum says I'm immature, and once when travelling overseas another English person told me I was being unpatriotic by not drinking tea (I think he was joking).

Once after I was offered tea at a friend's house, and I politely declined ("No thanks, I don't drink tea, I'm fine without a drink, thanks.") another "friend" who was there at the time, next time I saw her started passively aggressively going on about how she always accepts tea when she's offered it, even when she doesn't want it, because it's rude and churlish to turn it down. I really don't see how saying no to tea is rude...Surely it would be worse to make someone go to the trouble of making a drink when you don't want one?

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Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 16/09/2013 11:54

I'm not overly keen on coffee but I love tea. Can't drink red wine, don't like it and it gives me a headache.

I have a friend who doesn't like tea or coffee. When we go out she has a mocha and when she comes to mine she likes a mug of hot water. Each to their own.

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Doodledumdums · 16/09/2013 11:56

I think you are right, definitely wants to show me up. She also has an annoying habit of trying to get me to try wine all the time if we are there for dinner, and when I refuse she acts all offended, 'but it's French!' 'But it is Chilean!' 'But it is a beautiful red!' I don't care, I will not like it! Give up!

Glad I am not the only one who doesn't like 'adult' drinks...this is a good thread!

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shelldockley · 16/09/2013 12:02

I also don't like wine or champagne either, I'll drink it if it's for a toast though, or free with a meal Grin

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1PerCentofGargoylesLookLikeThi · 16/09/2013 12:09

Get rid of your tv, that will give them all something to suck their teeth over.

"Did you see that thing about ...., well not 1% she does n't have a tv!!!"
Obviously if you don't have a tv you can't listen to the radio, read a paper, Private Eye, watch a DVD, go to the cinema, use Iplayer via the MASSIVE cinema screen in our basement.

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ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 16/09/2013 12:11

course you can Grin as long as you do it with a genuine warm laugh.

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TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 16/09/2013 12:17

DH doesn't drink tea or coffee, and I have to say that when we started going out, I found it quite difficult because tea is so much the social lubricant. I got used to it with him, we have squashes and fizzy things and chocolate and beer and water and he's got a pretty wide selection, but I still find it a little bit uncomfortable when his dad comes round to do something useful, it's so automatic to give someone a hot drink when they come round it feels as though I'm being rude when the logical part of my brain knows that he doesn't like it, doesn't want it, never has and never will, so it would be ruder to try and press it on him. He's a veggie, and I wouldn't try to give him a ham sandwich, so why is there a difference in my mind with the cup of tea that he equally doesn't want?

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5Foot5 · 16/09/2013 12:41

DD (now 17) didn't use to like tea or coffee but over the last year or so she decided to train herself to like tea because she felt it would be more socially acceptable. (Her idea not mine - honest!)

She now genuinely likes tea but still can't abide coffee.

I like both but have never, ever liked milk in my tea.

It annoys me that if people offer you a coffee they will nearly always ask how you like it whereas with tea they very often make the assumption that you will take milk in it without even asking.

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cashmiriana · 16/09/2013 12:48

I don't drink tea or coffee.
Or alcohol.
And I am a veggie.

DH is exactly the same.

And to listen to some of his our family you'd think we were worthy of a feature on the national news.

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ThisCollie · 16/09/2013 13:14

5Foot5 - I did what your DD did when I was a teenager too! Great minds, eh? I love tea now.

However my name is Collie and I don't like desserts. Cake, meringue, sticky toffee pudding, crumbles, jelly, ice cream, fairy cakes, and biscuits - all out. And there's more desserts I dislike as well, I've just forgotten them. But the one that gets a reaction is cake - My mum will exclaim "it's just a slice of cake" as if I'm scared of it!

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MotherofBear · 16/09/2013 13:28

Ha, my Mum has never drunk coffee and has recently given up tea. It's great when she comes over, coz I don't need to make her a cuppa! Grin
Not that I mind making my loved ones drinks, it was just that she was so incredibly fussy about her tea that it was a right hassle. I'm not fussy about mine nowadays, oh no, not me.....

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MotherofBear · 16/09/2013 13:28

I don't like chocolate cake...

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DIYapprentice · 16/09/2013 13:30

It's definitely about reminding themselves, I do something similar with my friend who doesn't drink tea or coffee, and others do the same with me, as I have my tea black.

(Although a lot of them do say 'you don't have milk, do you?' as they are pouring milk into my tea and then invariably have to tip it out and start again!!!!)

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Sushiqueen · 16/09/2013 13:33

Another one here who doesn't drink tea or coffee or hot chocolate, mullied wine etc.......

I can just about cope with a cup of black tea if I really have to but would prefer to drink cold drinks.

Have trained my dad now - he just askes if I want vodka, wine or beer Grin

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