To wonder how necessary this question is?

[MarilynMoanroe]

My dh went to asda yesterday and bought a pair of kitchen scissors.

At the checkout the cashier asked him whether he was planning on stabbing someone with them?

Aibu to think this is a daft question, or would this really prevent potential scissor stabbings?

I once mentioend to the counter assistant at Sainsbury's that I was planning to freeze the bread I was buying from her.

She then refused to sell it to me as it had previously been frozen - before it was cooked in the shop.

After a short conversation (!) I ended up saying that I would promise not to freeze it if she would sell it to me; which she did. Reader, I froze it...

I think the world has gone mad after reading all of that!

Bearleigh

I was warned that an oboe I was buying must only be used for musical activity. Was slightly worried about what other activities could be done with an oboe, tbh.

In the business banking application for the Co-Op Bank, they ask you if you're currently funding terrorism or providing arms to other countries or if you're selling items made of ivory. Erm, yes. Ivory handled weapons to the terrorists.

Bill Bryson writes about the US security clearance forms.

Q Have you ever been involved with a terrorist organisation?
A Why yes, I have! Say, will this harm my chances of getting into the country?

Makes me giggle every time.

I had a customer the other day wgo tried to pay for a 40p purchase with a £10 note. her otger option was 30p in change - I wanted to accept the 30p because otherwise I would have to give her four £1coins, which totally damages my float.
I told her I didn't want to taje the tenner, byt while I was trying to seriously tell her to give me the 30p, I joked that I wouldn't accept the tenner in case of money launderibg.
I think the joke was lost on her because she then stsrted shouting and screaming at me and telling me she wasn't surprised I was going out of business.

maybe she'd been asked too many times if she was going to stab someone with her purchase?

ooh reggie guns used to have ivory handles.

Yes, but surely if I was in the arms and/or ivory trade, I would be looking towards the Caymans or Switzerland for my banking needs?!

And can you imagine the rebel armies running around with ivory-handled pistols? Pew pew!!

That was a pistol noise, by the way

SueDoke that made me laugh

Those American Visa forms also used to ask if you were a terrorist, had taken part in any terrorist activity, or were planning to in the future

Ha! Well... not currently involved, but who knows what the future holds, eh?!

(somehow, don't think that answer would go down very well!)

OP, he should have done a manic grin and said Yes, I want to stab the next shop assistant who asks a daft question.

I mean, seriously, what WAS she thinking.

Yes, stupid questions, but be careful how you answer; didn't someone end up in prison several years ago when passing through, I think, Heathrow luggage check, he joked he had a bomb in his luggage.

My dad used to supply some stuff to the local American base. They had a generic contract for services that seemed to cover everything from loo rolls to nuclear warheads. It was huge and most of it (especially the warhead bit!) completely irrelevant to him and a huge waste of paper.

He always used to wonder why they were so happy to send out this to everyone - no need for spies to go in hunting for info, it was all laid out in the tenders, you'd just have to set up a little local business wanting to supply them with pies or whatever and they'd send the whole ruddy lot to you. It was one of those documents that was measured in inches and kilograms rather than by number of pages!

Oh and op yanbu - that question is never going to be answered honestly by anyone planning on stabbing anyone with the scissors!

I saw a guy at Gatwick get hauled away by armed cops pretty quickly when he joked he had a bomb in his bag.

And have you ever been a member of the Communist Party? Err. No (yes, aged 16)

Do you have any narcotics on your person? Err no. (Yes hence ten minutes spent flushing Co Proxamol and DF118 down the plane toilet five minutes prior to landing)

a lot of these questions are designed to remove any defence you may have in court if you are dodgy

Years ago when I worked in a cellphone shop, a pair of women came in and spent up huge, paid for the whole lot in stacks of $20 bills. I joked, "have you robbed the bank?" Turns out they had - their partners had held up an armoured van and seriously injured one of the guards. The police caught them because they'd given us all their contact details to get their phone contracts.

a lot of these questions are designed to remove any defence you may have in court if you are dodgy

In the case of the US Visa Waiver though, if you turn out to be a genocidal drugs baron with terrorist tendencies, you're not going to have much of a defence :)

In the case of the scissor stabbing, I imagine the cashier was just having a joke based on needing to check the age of shoppers, regardless of whether she claimed to be "serious" or not.

I was warned that an oboe I was buying must only be used for musical activity. Was slightly worried about what other activities could be done with an oboe, tbh.

Clearly, you have never seen American Pie.

I've been asked for ID to buy alcohol free cider. It had zero% alcohol in it, but Can't be sold to minors cuz it looks like cider!

In my old house, the only source of heating downstairs was a log burner.

It was freezing cold and I'd stupidly let the fire go out. Id also run out of firelighters, so o went to the shop to get some, but they wouldn't sell them to me as I had no ID to prove I was over 16. (21 at the time) I went home but couldn't find my passport so i had to just freeze until DP came home the next day.

Like ricecakes and some others, I was asked my age when buying an item from the kitchen accessories section - a wooden spoon!