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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed my DD caught nits the first week of term!

33 replies

londonmum14 · 16/09/2013 09:41

She was at her old nursery 4 terms and she only had headlice once.
In all the bumpf we had when she started this school it says to inform the school if your child has headlice...So the other parent doesn't know or hasn't done anything about it or told the school. OR the school hasn't let us know in which point what's the use of telling them in the first place!! Angry
And breathe...

OP posts:
CeliaLytton · 16/09/2013 09:46

YANBU to be annoyed. But it will happen time and time again...

mrsjay · 16/09/2013 09:48

how annoying they are little buggers I hated them the school needs to have so many reported cases of headlice before they inform parents of an outbreak well thats what happened when dds were in primary, so tell the school treat the nits and hopefully school wil be on the ball with informing parents,

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 16/09/2013 09:52

Within the first week I had one off school ill and one with a head bump letter.

Nits and/or worms next I reckon. Tis school life I am afraid.

Do tell the school - IME they only send out the 'check for nits' letter if they have seen a child with lots of nits, to avoid singling them out. I know this from my extensive research of notifying them of DD's nits, and no letter going out to the class Grin

3birthdaybunnies · 16/09/2013 09:53

I think it is most likely the first - a child in dd1's class almost always seems to have them, two weeks after being talking partners dd1 mysteriously has them again. Messages sent out every few weeks from her class. Dd2 never catches them from her class and don'tthink there has been one message for her class at all. All you can do is use tea tree oil conditioner, always put her hair up and (silently) hope that whoever is the carrier doesn't become your child's best friend. Go in and ask the school to inform all the parents that there is a case in the class and hope that it was a one off someone caught at the end of hols from distant cousins and they haven't realised yet.

YoureBeingADick · 16/09/2013 09:55

yes you do need to breathe. it is headlice. very normal to get them at some point. the school cannot catch them as the dcs walk through the door. treat and keep checking and expect it to happen again at some point in the next 10 or so years, at which point you then treat again. i'm not sure why you are so angry.

daftdame · 16/09/2013 09:55

I understand your frustration but there is absolutely no point in getting annoyed. Maybe nits weren't spotted by the other parent but then how do you know you spotted them straight away?

They take almost no time to pass on, a child just has to touch heads with another who has nits. They can spread round a class like wildfire, potentially. Would you get annoyed if they caught a cold or flu? Same premise, they have to be sneezed on.

Treat your child and get on with life. Otherwise your frustration will just pass on to your child. I remember hating my mother picking through my hair, having my hair cut short due to nits. I hated all the fuss and wouldn't even tell her if my head felt itchy by the end. But I did stop getting nits...

3birthdaybunnies · 16/09/2013 09:57

Our school notifies as soon as anyone reports it. I also discuss it with parents of my dd's close friends. I don't want to go to all the hassle of riding her of them, only for her to already have given them to someone else and catch them back again.

NoComet · 16/09/2013 10:01

DD2 won't let me go through her hair and doesn't tell me if it itches. Believe me we have had words, but she is 12 and very stubborn.

There comes a point when they can't be bothered to get in a tiz about them.

MadeOfStarDust · 16/09/2013 10:03

Does your child only go to school, no extracurricular activities, no visits with family cousins, bus trips, cinema trips etc... ever thought your child might have been the one taking them to school??

daftdame · 16/09/2013 10:04

3birthdaybunnies I don't want to go to all the hassle of riding her of them, only for her to already have given them to someone else and catch them back again.

Not your choice to make. You cannot say well I've treated so I don't want to treat again. Even with the precautions you have made she could catch them of a child who was not a close friend. Or her close friend could, just to immediately pass then on. The your daughter could potentially pass them on within the space of a day. Shock ,horror!

All you can do is keep checking and treat. Also some things such as tea tree and Neem act as insect repellents. However there is no fail safe action of your own you can take to prevent them. You can't just make yourself more blameless that the others.

McNewPants2013 · 16/09/2013 10:05

Its headlice, quite normal for school age children to get.

But a nitty gritty comb, best thing ever.

Morgause · 16/09/2013 10:12

I've been teaching 40 ears and I've never had nits, not even when I was a child. Neither has my OH or our 2 DCs.

My friend has never had them either but her DH and DCs have, lots of times. There must be some reason.

Lots more girls have long hair that they wear loose, I don't think that helps.

Morgause · 16/09/2013 10:12

*years even

omwards · 16/09/2013 10:14

Vosene do a leave-in conditioner that is supposed to mean they don't catch them. It has worked for us so far!

LadyFlumpalot · 16/09/2013 10:35

Buy a nit comb and do a sweep each week. My sister is 15 years younger than me and when she started nursery she was constantly bringing the little buggers home and giving them to me.

I bought a nit comb and once a week smothered my dry hair in lavender oil and conditioner and combed it through.

Tailtwister · 16/09/2013 10:38

We've just had an email from the school nurse today. We haven't had them yet, but I'm using a Nitty Gritty comb twice a week (is that enough?) and a tea tree oil conditioner. I haven't found anything yet, but no doubt will.

FantasticDay · 16/09/2013 10:47

Just bad luck, I'm afraid. My son also came home with the nit letter first week. (Not him, but he did loads of holiday activities so it easily could have been!). Since we had a whole load of infections and re-infections with his sister, we've switched to Vosene teatree shampoo, and (touch wood) haven't had any reinfections since....

Fakebook · 16/09/2013 10:51

My mum used to make me feel better when I got Nits by telling me I had sweet blood Grin.

Dd hasn't had nits once since full time nursery or starting school. Actually, I caught ONE dead looking one walking in her plait once and then combed her hair through for days but she was clean.

My hairdresser tells me that if you condition the child's hair with every hair wash they won't get nits. I've been putting conditioner in Dd's hair since she was 2 so can only assume that's the reason why.

3birthdaybunnies · 16/09/2013 10:54

daftdame I am aware that obviously she could catch them again, and from anyone, however it makes sense that just as I would check all her siblings hair if I found one on her, that my friends might want to check their children's hair who have been playing with dd1 all day. Of course I don't want to treat her more than necessary, who wouldn't and if that means telling her friends parents then I will. Like it or not people are more likely to check if they know that their child has been in head to head contact. Also I don't see what harm there is in saying 'my child has nits' most children do at some point, better to tell the contacts so they can decide what to do for themselves.

soverylucky · 16/09/2013 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daftdame · 16/09/2013 11:06

3birthdaysbunnies No harm at all in checking or telling others. My point referred to more the inference that your actions could actually prevent the need for you to treat.

Slightly pedantic of me, I know, its just if people assume if you take this action you have prevented nits they can assume if you catch them you have not done all you can to prevent them. It attaches blame to something which could happen anyway.

Some parents may just play the whole situation down because they don't want to offend others and just inform the school and quietly treat any of their DC's infestations.

ILoveAFullFridge · 16/09/2013 11:17

It's normal. It's frustrating. It's going to happen again and again, so you're going to have to chill about it.

I've had one pick up nits in the holidays and go back to school with them - nothing I could do about it. Of course I dealt with it and informed the school.

I've had one get infected with chicken pox on the first day back. Only when I phoned the school to tell them, did they tell me that So-and-so went down with chicken pox two days ago, and he and my dc had been playing together all the time.

I've had one get repeated worm infestations, which stopped abruptly when they moved up to school.

IME the staff send out nit-letters whenever there is a case, but not for any other conditions.

Mojavewonderer · 16/09/2013 11:19

My kids ways come back from their dads with nits! He doesn't have any other kids and they only mix with his nephews?! I know they don't have them when they go as I check hair every day. He says it can't be his nephews as they don't have them so where are they coming from. They came back from their dads just before summer hol's ended and so I had to zap their hair and keep using the comb everyday to make sure they are clear before school started. Low and behold on the second day of school they came home with a nit letter but luckily I checked mine every day and still do so I can treat ASAP but so far they are clear. I do wash their hair in tea tree shampoo and conditioner too so I am doing all I can but its no good if others are not :( kids now hate me going near their hair with the comb, especially my autistic daughter who has sensitivity issues with her head. Grrrr

ILoveAFullFridge · 16/09/2013 11:22

Just realised my post doesn't make sense!

I meant nothing I could do to prevent my dc picking up nits in the holidays, and that the timing meant that dc went back to school with an active infestation. Of course I treated it ASAP (and the rest of the family, and had to notify the other schools).

3birthdaybunnies · 16/09/2013 11:23

But it may well prevent the need for me to treat again - if I tell parent A that my dd has headlice and she checks her dd when she otherwise would not have, and finds one which had wandered over from dd 2 days ago then she gets on top of them sooner rather than finding out a week or two later when a whole batch hatch out and have already crawled back onto dd's now headlice free hair. It won't prevent her catching them from other children, but as she is more likely to have head to head contact with her friends it makes sense if their parents are hyper vigilant too.